It can be really wonderful to have neighbors as friends.
This way, people who care are close by.
However, some neighbors can be emotional terrorists who are unable to mind their own business.
This is when home life can become stressful.
Redditor aitagandalf wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for not putting a garden gnome on my lawn?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I only ever take to this subreddit for stupid things, it seems."
"Hi, 26 F[emale] here."
"I recently bought my first house in a cute little neighborhood."
"There are 12 houses on our street, no H[ome] O[wners] A[ssociation[, no rules about lawn design, only a rule that the roofs can't be black."
"Cool, whatever."
"My neighbor (we'll call him Mr. Thomas, 65ish? M[ale]) right across the street has his garden stuffed, and I mean STUFFED, with garden gnomes."
"They're everywhere, they climb up the water drain, they're on the porch, on the grass, it's a whole thing."
"Not my style, but fine."
"I moved in the first week of March, and the day after, Mr. Thomas came to say hello, introduce himself, and bring me a garden gnome as a welcome gift."
"I thought it was absolutely hideous, but I thanked him and then put it in the shed after he left."
"The following day, I brought all the neighbors some self-made cookies; Mr. Thomas and his wife got some too, and they seemed happy about it."
"Two or three days later, I was walking my dog, and Mr. Thomas stopped me and asked why I hadn't put my gnome in my front yard."
"I didn't tell him I hated the gnome, I just told him I had something else in mind for my garden, which I just hadn't gotten around to yet (true), and the gnome was doing a formidable job guarding my tools in the shed."
"He got really upset and snappy with me and told me that he's been living on this street for 30 years and every neighbor gets a gnome as a welcome gift and every neighbor puts them up in the front yard."
"I hadn't really paid it any mind up until that point, but once he mentioned it, I noticed that there was a garden gnome in every front yard."
"He mentioned how 'it's a tradition' and 'everybody's gotta do it.'"
"I asked him if he wanted the gnome back if he didn't like where I put it."
"He said 'No,' so I just calmly told him that I most likely wasn't going to put the gnome on the front lawn, thanked him for the gift again, wished him a nice day, and left."
"Ever since I noticed that a handful of other neighbors have let their gnomes disappear, and now Mr. Thomas hates me."
"I get a stink eye every time we spot each other, and my neighbor next door (the sweetest old lady, bless her heart) told me he's apparently complaining about me on the regular."
"I told my friends this story, and one of them said I should've just put the gnome on the front lawn to make the old man happy."
The OP was left to wonder:
"AITA for not doing so??"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"I love that the other gnomes have been disappearing once they saw you take a stand."
"The idea that this gnome guy has been bullying the whole neighborhood with gnomes for years, and they were just waiting for a hero to come along to free them from the gnomes, is so funny. NTA, amazing." ~ Shot-Ad-363
"I asked my husband if I could put those plastic flamingos in the front yard, my husband said no, but for mothers day, he brought me a Lego flamingo so I would leave our front yard alone."
"Then again, my husband knows I only want to do it to be 'that weird neighbor,' so I think he was worried about giving an inch."
"OP, it's one thing to be 'that weird neighbor' with your own yard, but it's ridiculous to be that weird neighbor who invades other people's property with their weirdness."
"NTA, for standing up to your weird neighbor bully." ~ Environmental_Art591
"The leader of the gnome regime would hate how I would respond (and I like gnomes) to his demands."
"I've got a handmade gnome called Kersplatrick Von Trapp, it's a gnome lying face down, dead in a mousetrap."
"Big thing, f**king hilarious."
"I'd set old Kersplatrick out, maybe repaint him to match the gnome Mr. Thomas gave out, and maybe get a few more Kersplatricks just to emphasize the point."
"Let him know what happens to gnomes who aren't welcome here!" ~ AllNewCrystalZitface
"This is hilarious."
"Rebel without a gnome." ~ XandMan007
"NTA. He sounds like a sad, controlling little man. "
"And a bully."
"You have started a revolution." ~ HistoricalFudge3186
"NTA, the guy with the gnome decorating obsession needs to keep the gnomes in his own yard."
"You are not obligated to display it, and I bet some of your neighbors are glad you gave them an out." ~ DazzlingPotion
"NTA. Your neighbor can get over it. It’s your property, decorate how you see fit."
"If he’s so fussed, he could have bought your house before you did and put all the god*amn gnomes he wanted." ~ your-mom04605
"Put your gnome in his front yard." ~ Effective-Suit1544
"She could actually have fun with this and make it a way to bond with the old guy without having to have any gnomes in her own yard."
"Go over and move it every few days so it can socialize with all of the other gnomes."
"I’d be tempted to paint its hat and shirt to look like 'Where’s Waldo' and make it sort of a little game for the neighbors to discover."
"Maybe that makes me as weird as the gnome guy, I don’t know!" ~ EmilyAnne1170
"NTA. Plot twist: the garden gnomes are spies, and that is how the neighbor monitors everyone."
"You threw a wrench in his diabolical plans for neighborhood domination!" ~ Fantastic-Explorer62
"NTA. It’s a tradition?"
"His tradition, not yours."
"You get to have your own traditions."
"I think it’s time for the flamingos to come out." ~ JustAHookerAtHeart
"NTA. Would I have probably put it in my yard? Yes."
"It would have made me happy to make his day and cost me so little."
"That said, you aren't required to do any such thing."
"I do think you've set a tone for your relationship with your neighbors, whether that turns out to be a good thing or not, I don't know."
"I wouldn't capitulate at this point because you've set a reasonable boundary, and it should be respected."
"And you don't want to set a precedent for being a pushover." ~ tamrynsgift
"Spoken by someone whose yard is probably gnomeless."
"I inherited a gnome from my mother, put it out to keep the peace."
"I hate it. "
"Looking for the first opportunity to make it disappear."
"Can't blame the OP for stashing the gift gnome in the shed."
"There is no middle ground with gnomes." ~ Key_Arrival4695
"I agree with you."
"Absolutely not required, but good luck building a community in your neighborhood afterward."
"Super simple to throw a little gnome in the yard and go along with the yard theme. "
"She can also be honest with him that she didn’t like that gnome and see if she can pick one more to her taste."
"There are tons of silly little gnomes to pick from."
"I have a 'gold' one flipping the bird." ~ tibearius1123
"He’s not old, he’s belligerent, entitled, and controlling.
"Place the gnome on his lawn amongst the other monstrosities he likes to impose on his neighbors! "
"I'm almost 64 and nowhere near old!!!" ~ Dunno2128
"NTA, and it looks like you taking a stand has prompted other neighbors to remove the gnomes they felt obligated to put out."
"He's only making himself look bad here." ~ Caspian4136
"It’s not about the gnome."
"It’s about him dictating 'tradition' in his little 12-house fiefdom."
"Now that others are following your lead, his control is slipping away, and he resents it."
"Gnomeless yards make his gnome-overgrown yard stand out as the anomaly it is."
"Stand your ground. NTA." ~ DJ1952
"NTA. I'd just smile and be polite and let him moan all he wants."
"If the worst thing he can say about you is that you don't have a gnome on display, then you're a pretty good neighbor, and I'd be inclined to point that out to him if he says anything directly to me." ~ PinkElanor
OP came back to chat...
"UPDATE - thanks for all the input lol."
"I gave the gnome a new home at my local second-hand shop this morning."
"And to the people worrying about me being ostracized from the community, it's literally just Mr. Thomas I have an issue with; the rest are friendly towards me."
"Even Mrs. Thomas smiled back at me last night when I got home from work, while Mr. Thomas ignored me, so I think I'll be fine."
Glad to hear it all worked out for you, OP.
Mr. Thomas is just going to have to get over it.
Your home, your garden, your rules.
Have fun in your new space.
