Picking someone up from the airport is a really nice way to show you care. But, it's not always possible, no matter how hard you try.
Assuming your partner can just put everything on hold and drive to the airport will leave you waiting, and your partner frustrated because they couldn't be there for you.
Redditor Sylvipink encountered this very issue with their husband. So they turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
They asked:
"AITA for getting upset at my husband for not picking me up from the airport?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Background first, I come from a family where you would just always pick up your friends and family from the airport if you could, regardless of the time of day. My husband does not."
"He also doesn't sleep well if woken up so we made a compromise that he will take me/pick me up if it's between the hours of 6 am and 11pm. For me, I would always pick him up in general."
"Anyway, I had a flight (redeye) that was scheduled to land at 9:35am."
"He had something he needed to do online at 10am so the plan was for him to drive there, get me, and I would drive home while he did his thing on the phone since it would cause no issues to do it on mobile."
"I usually text him when I land and he leaves then since we live pretty close to the airport."
But, the flight was delayed.
"Well my flight ended being 20 minutes delayed in the air and when I landed at 9:55 he hadn't left the house and said he could no longer do so because he had to do that thing at 10."
"I asked why he hadn't come earlier and waited for me in the cell phone lot and he said he was waiting for my text; I said that might make sense up until 9:40 (it's about 15 minute drive to the airport) but then he should have just left."
"He said he didn't know what had happened to my flight and didn't know my flight information. I pointed out he knew where I was flying from and my airline so it would have been easy to check and he could have also gone into my email to find the info if he forgot that. My computer is right next to his and my email is always open."
"He apologized but said I was making a big deal out of nothing."
"Anyway I ended up taking an Uber home and was upset for a few hours but then moved on. I was curious though, was I being unreasonable? Was he? Thanks."
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was the a**hole.
"YTA. In general I agree that it's nice to pick your partner up from the airport, but in this case your flight was late and you knew he had a thing at 10:00. I think you need to let it go this time." ~ WebbieVanderquack
"And the airport is only a 15 minute drive from their house…get a cab." ~ ccoastmike
"Fun fact: in my hometown (Pisa, Italy) you can walk to the airport because it's in the city. Not in the middle of course, but in the city. The road to the airport would be: houses, houses, supermarket, coffee shops, stores, houses, houses and then BAM! AIRPORT! The first time I picked my bff from the airport (she's from Rome where airports are bigger and far away...you know like normal airports LOL) she was totally shocked that as soon as I left the parking lot we were in the city." ~ slytherinsus
"My airport is 20 minutes away. The cabs won't drive to my house. Heck, one time we parked in our church's parking lot. A ten minute drive. We had to try three cab drivers. They only want to go to the hotels where they have a chance of picking up another fare." ~ cappotto-marrone
"YTA. Is this really a hill you want to die on? You knew he had a thing, your flight was delayed, you live close to the airport so Uber can't have been terribly expensive. In the grand scheme of life, Ubering home one time should really not be argument worthy when the situation changed unexpectedly." ~ slydog4100
OP added some edits.
"It seems general consensus is that I overreacted, so I will accept that."
"I was asked to include some additional info about the events leading up to this that I didn't think was relevant."
"My trip was booked a month ago, when I booked it I told him I'm coming back this date and you need to pick me up, he said fine as long as it's within the time limits. I said yes, it's at 9:30am so he agreed."
"My husband is self employed and the way his scheduling works is he can either 1) propose his own times or 2) say when he is not available and they will propose times. He usually does #2 because he doesn't care, and he is used to just saying he is fine with whatever time. This scheduling happened about a week ago, he forgot about my flight and confirmed this 10AM time."
"A couple days later, he asked me when I was getting home. I told him and he said crap, I have this 10 AM thing."
"Once he confirms, it's a pain to reschedule because he would have to swap time slots with at least two other people, so I would never ask him to do that. I suggested the plan I wrote about above and he said fine. I texted him right before the plane took off to let him know it was on time and that was the last communication before I landed."
"Maybe we should have considered the possibility of the flight being late but we travel a LOT (before Covid anyway) and our flights to our home airport are pretty much always early if anything, so it wasn't something that crossed our mind."
"Also, we are definitely both over this whole situation, I was honestly just curious about who was being unreasonable."
Taking an Uber once is not a big deal, but talking about it is the best answer.
Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.