There are far too many people who barely make enough to make ends meet.
One of the main sacrifices these people have to make is food, often leaving them with little food on the table, and even less in the refrigerator and cupboards.
Thankfully, there are resources to help solve this all-too-common problem.
Even though using these resources often comes with a fair amount of judgement from others.
Redditor Educational_Pirate52 and her boyfriend took it upon themselves to use one of these very resources.
Doing so resulted in some negative judgement from one of their friends.
A friend who went so far as to even accuse them of “stealing from the homeless.”
Wondering if this was really the case, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA? Friend says I’m stealing from the homeless?”
The OP explained why their friend felt that they were cheating the system:
“I posted a haul from the food pantry because I was genuinely excited to finally have food.”
“I had an interview with them and was accepted for one meal a day and one grocery pickup a week.”
“A friend of mine is upset and says I’m ‘stealing from the homeless’.”
“We don’t even talk often.”
“For context: my boyfriend and I make about $1,900 a month combined.”
“Our rent alone is $1,400, that’s not including car insurance, gas, utilities, or anything else.”
“By the end of the month, we’re left with pennies just trying to survive.”
“I’m 23, and somehow my friends think I’m doing something wrong because I don’t ask my parents or my wealthy grandparents for food.”
“I have asked before, but I’m not comfortable having to ask every single week just to eat.”
“I don’t understand how being relieved and excited about finally having access to food while I’m struggling financially makes me a bad person.”
“I’m actively trying to find a second job, and my boyfriend is too.”
“I am trying to figure it out on my own!”
“Food is a basic necessity.”
“We shouldn’t have to panic about eating.”
“So how am I wrong here?”
“Conflicted.”
“Am I really stealing from the homeless? or am I just someone who needs help right now?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for using her local food pantry.
Everyone agreed that Food Pantries exist for all who qualify for them, which wasn’t exclusively the homeless, and the OP was among those who qualified:
“NTA.”
“Food pantries are there for people who need food.”
“You need it.”
“Very simple concept.”
“Just because you have an apartment doesn’t mean you don’t need the help.”
“What about single mothers?”
“By her definition, Single Mothers that cover all bills on their own shouldn’t be able to use a food pantry because they have a home/apartment.”
“Food pantries are not JUST for the homeless.”
“And honestly, that kind of thinking is very belittling and insulting.”- Lighthouse_on_Mars
“NTA.”
“Food banks aren’t just for the homeless.”
“Food banks are for the foodless, which happens to include the homeless but is not limited to them.”
“Food banks are for anyone who can’t afford food.”- Pandoratastic
“NTA.”
“The food pantry evaluated your level of need and decided that you needed their assistance.”
“Therefore, you aren’t ‘stealing’ from anyone.”- Naomeri
“NTA.”
“Food pantry is for those who need it.”- Radiant_Annual_4027
“NTA.”
“Your friend isn’t your friend.”
“If you need the food bank, use the food bank.”
“Do not let this person shame you away from utilizing a resource that is helping you.”-queenofthequeens
“NTA.”
“Food Banks aren’t approving millionaires who can take care of themselves, that’s WHY there is an interview process.”
“You got accepted because YOU NEED HELP and they gave you the help they determined you need (which a weekly grocery pickup and a daily meal isn’t even that much.”- WhiskeyGinger99
“NTA.”
“I’m happy my donations/taxes go to folks like you, simply trying to get on their feet.”
“Keep working hard OP.”
“Screw the haters.”- Username_Here5
“NTA.”
“Whoever is telling you this is too prideful.”
“The pantry literally is there for anyone who needs any help.”
“You need help, therefore, you were given help.”- hellagayhellafine
“NTA.”
“Food banks are for the food insecure.”
“And that’s you.”
“They are for you.”
“Not just the homeless.”
“It’s a bit odd to post a ‘haul’ like it’s a flex.”
“Was it trying to encourage donations to the food bank?”
“Making it clear that food banks are critical community resources that you shouldn’t be stigmatized for using?”- Fumblesneeze
“NTA.”
“I think that’s a very strange perspective for your friend to have.”
“That food is meant to be there for those who are hungry and is I need of food.”
“It’s not just meant for those who don’t have a roof over their head.”
“You are absolutely not an A-hole.”- fenrir_sulfur_93
“NTA.”
“Food pantries are for people who need food.”
“& it sounds like they have a screening process and determined yep, you need food!”
“It’s not like you’re going around lying about your circumstances and evilly chuckling about it.”
“Your friends are lucky they haven’t been in a position of need like that.”- ouijabore
“NTA.”
“The only time I’ve needed food banks was when I was housed but broke as f*ck.”
“If I didn’t use them, I’d either starve or end up homeless.”
“Using them kept me housed, just as using them is helping to keep you and your boyfriend housed.”
“Would your friends rather you don’t eat, or don’t pay rent so you can eat and end up homeless?”
“Maybe then they’d be okay with you using the food banks.”
“It’s unreasonable to expect someone to ask friends or family for food or money every day/week.”
“Affordability aside since that’s not a factor for your family, it’s just a sh*tty feeling having to ask people for food or money all the time.”
“You start to feel like a burden or a freeloader, not someone just trying to survive.”
“If your friends are so worried about how you’re surviving, perhaps they could help out so you don’t have to rely on food banks.”- Xavius20
“You only have $500 a month between you and your partner.”
“This amount doesn’t even include food, bills, transport costs, medicine etc. you are the kind of person a food pantry is designed to help.”
“The fact that your relatives are reasonably well off doesn’t matter.”
“NTA.”- HappySparklyUnicorn
“NTA.”
“If the food bank has looked at your finances and found you eligible for help, then you are one of the people that the food bank intends to help.”
“If you are sufficiently low income to need the help, then of course you will be relieved to have food and want to celebrate having it.”
“Your friends either do not wish to believe that you need the help because they don’t want to think anyone they care about is so short of funds that they need a food bank – or they would rather you starve than admit they have a friend that needs support (or indeed offer you any support/sub you on meals out themselves now that they know).”
“NTA.”- Cautious-Job8683
“NTA.”
“You need food, and they said you’re qualified.”
“End of story.”
“That said, if you’re total income is $1900 a month and your rent is $1400 a month, you’re living beyond your means and you’d do well to contact that food bank to see if they have any other resources available to you.”
“They might be able to find you a place more suited to your income.”
“I’m blown away that you’re able to make $1900 last through just your bills.”
“$500 for car insurance, gas, utilities, and other expenses is insane.”- SigSauerPower320
“NTA.”
“I think you are sharing too much on social media, and now people are asking for personal financials that are none of their business.”- WesternTerm7600
“NTA.”
“If the food pantry has deemed you eligible to receive food from them, then don’t let anyone else shame you into not taking the food you need and deserve.”
“So many programs out there to support people in accessing the food they need are undermined by social pressure and shame.”
“You do not have to be homeless and completely without income before you are allowed to access social supports.”- Thelexhibition
“NTA.”
“Poverty and need come in all shapes and sizes.”
“Just because you have a roof doesn’t mean you can afford more than the roof – or that you’re not one financial problem away from having no roof.”
“Ignore your ‘friend’.”
“They can’t see past their privilege.”- wanderingstorm
Not many people would be brave enough to admit to using a food pantry, owing to the stigma that comes with it.
Making it all the more surprising that the OP’s friend even went so far as to shame them for using it.
Something no one who is privileged enough to never need to worry about having food in the cupboard should ever do.