Woman Irate After Husband Calls Her Journalism Career A 'Hobby' In Front Of His Boss

Supporting a partner's career choices is often a relationship standard.

Not every partner has that capacity though.

Some people have a noticeable disdain for their partner's work.

That doesn't usually go over well in heated discussions.

Redditor throwRAklsflkasd wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

She asked:

"AITA for not laughing when my husband joked about my 'hobby' job in front of his boss?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"My husband was invited to this work dinner at his boss's house, and his whole office was invited."

"My husband has a higher-paying job than mine, and it doesn't really bother me because I love what I do, but he does lack interest in my work because of it."

"The first iffy thing was when we were getting ready, he gave me a 'check' or something like that where he gave me the rundown of dinner etiquette."

"I know dinner etiquette, my parents used to host this kind of dinner all the time, so yeah, I know how to act and how to behave."

"All his co-workers were going to the dinner, and they brought their wives with them, so it was pretty packed."

"Dinner was nice until we were in the dessert portions when my husband's coworkers started talking about their wives and their hobbies."

"My husband brought up my 'hobby,' I'm a journalist, and I write stuff once in a while."

"He talked about some of the stuff I've written, describing it as 'silly.'"

"I didn't say anything and smiled awkwardly, but he just kept going, saying he doesn't read my stuff because he 'doesn't want to be all up in my head.'"

"When we got home, I talked to him about the jokes and said I didn't find them funny, but rather somewhat offensive and disrespectful towards my work."

"He told me to learn how to take a joke."

"I tried to ignore it, so I just kept doing my thing, but then he started getting handsy, and I rejected his advances because I was still sour about dinner, and he got upset, so we went on and on about the dinner thing."

"I wasn't even addressing him making fun of me."

"I was generally upset over the hobby thing, because it's not a hobby, it's my line of work which I love and am very passionate about. "

"He admitted to maybe being in the wrong for the jokes but that they were 'based on fact.'"

"I grew up significantly wealthier than him, I do not leech off of my parents, nor do they send me money out of free will."

"My parents have never said or done anything to make him feel inferior, and they get along very well."

"We met when I was going through some sort of hippie phase."

"I wasn't talking to my parents, and I did not get along well with them at the time."

"I was some manic pixie dream girl at the time, and I think he got way too attached to that version of me (I was 25, I'm 32)."

"He called me dull and compared me to my mom, which isn't bad in and of itself, but he said it as an insult and said I was becoming a suburban mom (we have a son, he's two)."

"I feel like he doesn't really appreciate me as a person or care about me as much as a husband should for his wife."

"I get what he's saying, but I'm getting older."

"I'm a mom and I'm advancing in my career and have a lot on my plate apart from that."

"I do love my husband."

"I married and started a family with him for a reason, but maybe I took the joke too seriously?"

"I'm not sure if I blew it too out of proportion because I asked friends, and they said that maybe I took it too seriously, etc, etc."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. But here is some brutal honesty."

"You may love your husband, but either he doesn't love you or is embarrassed of you."

"He isn't insecure."

"He is an outright a**hole."

"Telling you you're dull."

"Complaining that you are being a mother instead of whatever he thinks you should be."

"Treating you like you are stupid."

"The joke is just another in a long line of him abusing you mentally because he isn't happy."

"So why should you be?"

"I am sorry, but the moment anyone treated me like that, I would walk out."

"Love is great only as long as both feel it and respect the other person."

"He doesn't respect you."

"If this isn't stopped now."

"If the boundary isn't put up with strong consequences, then he will continue this way."

"He will teach your child one of 2 things."

"To treat you this way."

"That you are stupid."

"He is to treat a future spouse or partner this way."

"That this kind of thing is acceptable."

"Or he will treat your son the same way."

"Make fun of him."

"Don't care about how it makes him feel."

"How it makes him look in front of others."

"He will put him down."

"Beat him down because a child will think it's their fault."

"They deserve it."

"They are bad."

"People can say this is extreme, but the moment he went from taking a joke and saying sorry to being pissed you won't have sex with him and then putting you down is the moment this went from a small tiff to outright abusive behavior."

"This has nothing to do with the jokes he made."

"This has to do with how he treats you."

"How he demeans you."

"Breaks you down."

"This is him abusing you so he can get whatever satisfaction he can from it."

"This is you need to take a stand and stop letting him treat you this way."

"Of letting your child who sees and hears more than you think."

"Who is learning at a very fast rate?"

"See this and think this is ok." ~ tiny-pest

"Excellent analysis."

"OP read this one again."

"And from me, I've had four articles published and paid for, and I salute you for your journalistic efforts."

"A great deal of work and research goes into even what looks like a quick and easy piece." ~ roscoe_e_roscoe

"My stepdad was like this with my mom."

"When they first got married, they found a job posting that she had the skills to do, but they required a bachelor's degree (which she didn't have, but he had in another field)."

"So he applied using her portfolio because they needed the job between them."

"She trained him how to do the work. "

"For the first year or so, he would bring work home, and she would either help him or do it."

"Then, after he'd been in the job for a while, he started resenting her."

"He'd police her behavior at work functions, diminish her career to his co-workers, etc."

It 100% came from a combined place of resentment and insecurity, but it was still a**holish." ~ Wynfleue

"This. NTA. You are a team... until you are not."

"My Wife needed a break from the rat race after a horrible work experience."

"I encouraged her to quit and take some time to heal."

"Out of the blue, she brought out that she had always wanted to write a book."

"I encouraged her to do it."

"For years, I read every book, went to book shows with her, and helped where I could with story ideas."

"She wrote over a dozen books over the next five years."

"It was as much work to promote them as it was to write them."

"She never made any money to speak of, but I still admire her for frigging writing DOZEN books."

"Sadly I think authors are viewed as hobbyists until they literally hit the New York Times best sellers list because EVERYONE thinks they could write a book or article."

"I have written a white paper for my business before."

"It wasn't a negligible effort to write even a few pages about something I am a subject matter expert at."

"The ONE time I really thought I was done when my marriage was because I was concerned she lost her respect for me."

"Nobody wants to be a punchline in some main character's story." ~ anonanon-do-do-do

"When he met you you were some 'hippie girl with no future' so he was better than you and that made you perfect for him."

"Then he knew your parents are rich and you will probably inherit some of that, you have a job that you love, pays good, and could be seen as a 'smart people' job."

"So now, in his mind, you are actually better than him, so he needs to put you down so he can keep feeling superior."

"NTA but he is a huge one." ~ truly-diy20

"OMG NTA."

"When you say journalist, do you mean you post lists on BuzzFeed for free or something?"

"Because that is a hobby."

"It appears someone pays you to write words."

"It doesn't matter if you're writing for the New York Times or freelancing food articles for a small community paper."

"That's just so insulting."

"Your husband does not respect you as a human."

"And he is insecure."

"Seems you two have some work to do on aligning your views on life before you end up in a resentful situation."

"Good luck." ~ SmellMajestic7355

"NTA. I think your husband is upset that you aren't the same person he married and is taking it out on you instead of addressing his issues."

"You have don't nothing wrong other than grow and mature."

"His behavior is concerning and unfair to you."

"You honestly need to push him into counseling so you can work through this; otherwise, your son is going to grow up with your husband talking s**t about you and thinking it's okay." ~ giantbrownguy

"NTA. Your husband is a superdouche for not only putting you down but for also not thinking he did anything wrong." ~ lmmontes

"NTA. He was incredibly rude."

"I'm wondering if he feels insecure because your family has more wealth and so he wants to drag you down with him." ~ Major_Friendship4900

"You are in an abusive marriage with an insecure tiny man."

"Please leave and get help." ~ Cultural-Camp5793

Reddit has your back, OP.

Also, Reddit seems a little concerned about your husband's behavior.

He doesn't have to like your career choice.

But he doesn't get to disrespect you.

You have every right to be angry.