Traveling with friends always seems exciting at first.
For many, though, the downsides of group travel become sadly apparent fairly quickly.
This can include discovering that everyone has different ideas of what will be fun, some people's diets precluding going to certain places, or different sleeping patterns.
Not to mention splitting the cost of the whole thing.
Redditor Rough_Bet1422 was looking forward to an upcoming trip with their friends.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)'s excitement dampened considerably when they learned the trip would be more expensive than originally agreed upon.
When the OP refused to pay this added expense, they were accused by their friends of being "selfish" by one of their friends.
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subreddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for refusing to pay extra for my friends’ kids on a group vacation?"
The OP explained why they were accused of being "selfish" by their friends:
"A group of friends and I have been planning a vacation together."
"There are five adults, but two of my friends are bringing their children."
"Originally, we were looking at a smaller Airbnb, but because of the kids, we ended up needing a bigger and more expensive place."
"When it came time to divide the cost, everyone suggested splitting the total equally among the five adults.I disagreed."
"I said that while I have absolutely nothing against their children, I don’t think it’s fair for me to pay more because someone else decided to bring their kids."
"One of my friends said children shouldn’t count when splitting expenses because they don’t have jobs or incomes."
"Another said I was being selfish and that vacations with friends are about sharing experiences, not calculating every dollar."
"I responded that having children doesn’t automatically make their expenses everyone else’s responsibility."
"That apparently crossed a line."
"One friend accused me of being insensitive toward parents, and another said I was ruining the vacation over money."
"Now I’m wondering if I should’ve just paid the extra amount to avoid the argument."
"AITA for thinking that parents should cover the additional costs associated with bringing their children?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for refusing to pay extra because their friends were bringing their children.
Everyone agreed that it wasn't a fair divide if the OP and others weren't using as much of the house, and that everyone should pay per room, not an even split:
"NTA."
"Hysterical argument: 'children shouldn’t count when splitting expenses because they don’t have jobs or incomes'."
"In fact, that's exactly why they SHOULD count."
"They still cost money to house and feed."
"Your friends don't get a free ride for their kids to vacation on your dime."
"THEY should pay for their own kids."- Maera44
"NTA."
"Split it by room, and who uses each room."
"You pay for 1 bedroom, a parent pays for 2 rooms, ect."
"That seems pretty fair."- Anonymous_Sad_Person
"NTA."
"They should be paying for their own children since they chose to have them."- happycoffeebean13
"I don't have kids, and I'd feel the same way."
"NTA."- Yardash
"Omg people really out here trying to make others pay for their kids?!"
"If they weren’t going on a group trip, these parents would have to pay for the costs solo!"
"Trying to take advantage of a group trip to have the majority of the group pay the cost for your kids is disgraceful."
"NTA."- EasternCourt5267
"NTA."
"It’s not on you to subsidize their family."- momlv
"NTA."
"I'm a parent."
"First off, I wouldn't bring my child unless it was clearly expressed to be an all-ages vacation."
"Second it would be by the room."
"If I wanted to save, I would bunk with my kid."
"If I wanted my own space I'd pay for the luxury."- SomeCallMeMahm
"NTA."
"If you’re bringing your kids somewhere that costs money, it’s your responsibility to cover their costs, not everyone else’s."
"You chose to have your kids, not anyone else."- a33ywolf
"NTA."
“'They don’t have jobs or incomes' is a comically horrible argument."- fancypants1589
"In situations like this, we split by number of bedrooms needed."
"Otherwise just get hotel rooms."
"That’s easy for single people but is hard on families."
"I imagine they’ll change their minds quickly."
"NTA."- Zeal_of_Zebras
"NTA."
"Also, your group shouldn't divide the cost of food for the trip equally either."- BiscottiKey88
'Ask them if they'd invite and cover all the costs for adult friends who have no job or income, and watch the answers change and/or the excuses about how 'that's totally different' roll in."
"NTA."- Significant_Youth963
"NTA."
"As their parent, its their responsibility to pay for their kids!"
"What's next, splitting the food evenly for their kids?"- Itchy_Singer6966
"NTA."
"There are extra costs because of extra people - that is not on you."
'You agreed to the costs as they were before, but you don't need to go on this vacation."
"There is a world of a difference between families on holiday together and friends of the same age."
"The friend accusing you of ruining the vacation over money is just spicy that their family vacation is no longer being subsidized by you."
"If the vacation required more rooms because of the kids then whoever has the kids pays for those rooms."
"Same goes for food - kids don't eat as much (unless teens!) but their parents should have their share of the grocery bill."
"I recommend you let them have their family vacation time with their children while you go elsewhere and enjoy what you are paying for."- CanAhJustSay
"NTA."
"Tell those who are happy to pay for other people's children that they are welcome to do so."
"You aren't stopping them."
'You're just asking them to take their fingers out of your wallet."
"If the extra portion they are demanding you pay to cover other people's kids is no big deal, then surely it's even less of a deal if they all divide that amount amongst themselves and pay it as part of their own voluntary subsidization of the parents."
"This was never your responsibility or commitment in the first place."
"Surely the people making trouble over money are those who are seeking to spend other people's money."
"You can pay for yourself."
"You can volunteer your own money to subsidize someone else."
"You can't demand other people's money to pay for others because you think that would be nice, and then act as if the person whose money you're trying to take is unreasonable if they want to have a say and it goes against your idea."
"Anyway, what's the problem?"
"They say it's not a big deal."
'They are happy to pay."
"So why are they reaching for your wallet?"- kurokomainu
"NTA."
"F*ck that I wouldn't go."
"A 'vacation' with kids is not at all a vacation."
"You'd be wasting your money."- NoKangaroo8616
"NTA."
"I’d have bowed out with kids showing up as they’ll handicap the whole trip."
"The parents should pay for their own kids or have them stay home."- PM_ME_LASAGNA_
"NTA."
"Yea I do have kids and I would never do this crap."
"1 it seemed like it was adults only and the house was decided and THEN they added their kids?"
"So if I was heading this plan, they’d need to figure that out themselves separately, or eat the cost."
"You guys talked and had things set, prices set, just because someone wants to change that doesn’t mean everyone needs too."
"Because what if you agreed with a budget."
"And then with the changes it’s out your budget."
"That’s valid."
"And those aren’t your kids, they also weren’t counted initially and this is exactly why people have so many problems with friends because some people are so entitled they think everyone should move for them."
"That’s what’s happening here."
"People are trying to bully you into funding your friends kids vacation."
"An to be clear this is nothing against the kids and everything against the selfish parents."
"And that price change should be completely those 2 parents bill, disrespectfully."
"Since this was disrespectful of them to even do any of these last minute changes."- DreamzQueen
"NTA."
"I would be noping out of the trip."
"Sounds like a nightmare."
"Being trapped in a house with other peoples kids isn’t a holiday."- TheNarwhalTusk
Some people don't have a problem splitting expenses evenly, even if they partook in much less of what they're paying for than others.
Even so, not everyone feels this way, and no one should feel obligated to; they have every right to pay only for what is theirs.
Something the OP's friends better realize if they want this vacation to happen.
