Gambling addiction is a serious behavioral problem that can destroy the gambler and their loved ones lives.
Gambling is addictive because it stimulates the brain much like drugs or alcohol can. Addiction to gambling ranks as the most common impulse control disorder worldwide.
Getting funds to continue gambling or to pay off associated debts can lead gamblers to pawning their possessions, taking out loans against their vehicles or home, or even stealing.
A man dealing with a significant other addicted to gambling turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Snorlax_Silverback26 asked:
“AITA for filing a police report for my girlfriend selling my iPad?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“AITA for filing a police report to get my iPad back from ecoATM if it was my girlfriend who stole/sold it? I want my iPad Pro back. Seriously. Like in the worst way.”
*EDITOR’S NOTE: ecoATM is a phone/tablet recycling company that pays cash for old devices dropped into their boxes located in stores or malls
“So I pinged it at Walmart maybe 5 days after it was missing. I have a friend who is a long time employee of Walmart and they pulled up the camera and found out it was my girlfriend.”
“Their policy is that the company or Walmart will not open up the box to check without a police report. That’s a must for this to continue in getting my iPad back.”
“We been together 8-9 years. 3 kids together. But she denied, denied, denied until I finally have proof.”
“She cried and cried and after a few days I finally gave in and forgave her. We talked, and the only way to make this right is if I get it back. I don’t wanna press charges, but I’m sure the state will.”
“So a weeks gone by and I just now started the police report after I found out you can do it online. I’ve never filed one, never even called the police before in my life, so I was hesitant. But knowing I can do it online gave me the courage to proceed.”
“She mad because she thinks it’s kinda f*cked up for doing it now since we’re over it. She thought I would have been done with it. But f*ck that. I want my iPad back. But anyway, comments pIease.”
“AITA for filing a police report to get my iPad back even though I chose to forgive her?”
“I don’t wanna press charges and probably won’t go to any court dates or anything like that.”
“I guess I was hoping she would grow up over time. And gambling is definitely a bad habit she picked up this year. I just ultimately didn’t want just a ‘baby mama’ and wanted to stick to the family thing.”
“Good and bad. But this creates so much doubt inside me about our future.”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“Is it OK to file a police report on my girlfriend just to get my iPad back that she stole/sold?”
“Some people think I should let it go since we’re staying together and she could possibly get in trouble.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“We pinged my wife’s stolen iPhone to an ecoATM, and did indeed need to file a police report to get it back.”
“The police asked me if I wanted to press charges should they find who did it, I told them not really, was pretty sure it was a bunch of kids who snagged it off her tray at a movie theatre, didn’t seem worth the effort.”
“It may vary by state, and the fact that you know who took it, but just filing the police report doesn’t necessarily bring charges.”
“It will take months to get back, they would not open the box in the mall, it had to go back to ecoATM’s warehouse and be searched for there, but they did send it back.” ~ No-Yam-1231
“NTA for reporting it. But why the hell are you staying with her? This can’t be the first time she’s done something awful like this right?”
“Why did she do it? What was the money for, and where is the money? This type of theft is something addicts do.”
“What you need to do is allow the consequences to happen for the theft and leave her. If you stay you’re only setting the example for your children that being treated like sh*t by a partner is acceptable behavior.”
“Is that what you want? If your children had a partner as adults pulling the same sh*t your long-term girlfriend has, would you advise them to stay? No? Didn’t think so.”
“Then don’t set the example for them on accepting this sh*t from a partner. There’s a reason that you haven’t married her after 3 kids and all this time.”
“Now step up and show your kids this isn’t acceptable.”
“Sorry, dude. I get where you’re coming from. It isn’t easy to be where you’re at right now. It’s a sh*tty thing to go through.”
“Sometimes sticking to the family thing means not being together anymore, because that’s what’s best for the kids and your own mental health. Family comes in many different forms and structures not just a mom and dad in the same household.”
“It isn’t the fairytale. It isn’t the ideal we are sold as kids. But it’s the truth of it.”
“I know your heart is broken into a million bits, and that’s awful to experience. I’m truly sorry to hit you with such a hard truth with my comment above. But it’s the exact thing I’d say to my own sons if they were going through what you are.” ~ MoulanRougeFae
“NTA. It was stolen from you. It still sucks for everyone, though, because of your history together and the kids.”
“But if your GF so desperately needs money that she is willing to steal from you, there might be something at play that you don’t know about.” ~ helican
“NTA, but what is this relationship? Y’all have been together that long, have 3 kids, and still acting this childish? Why y’all not married?”
“Sh*t like this, I assume… but yeah, she shouldn’t be having more kids acting like this. Unless you are not telling us the truth of your iPad use…?” ~ Special_Acadia247
“Right? Why on earth would you bring three entire new, vulnerable human beings into the world with someone you don’t even like enough to give them the legal protections and commitment of marriage?”
“This kind of situation shows up constantly on here, and I’ll never, ever understand it. If you don’t even care enough about someone to want to properly commit to them as a couple, including legally, then don’t bloody well have kids with them.”
“Sure, sometimes accidents happen, but you can’t have an ‘accident’ more than once… if you’re still sleeping with them after that, you know perfectly well that you’re risking more kids.” ~ Sorry_I_Guess
“NTA, but are you aware that it’s not the victim who presses charges but the police/prosecutor? You can refuse any further cooperation after making a report, but if there is video evidence, then they can still proceed with a theft charge.”
“It’s very unlikely if you don’t want to take it further, but possible. Honestly, this all sounds messy.” ~ ValuableMine9
“NTA. You forgave her, but that doesn’t mean you have to lose your stuff too. She sold your iPad that’s on her. You just want it back, and filing a report is the right move. If she really cared, she’d be helping you fix it, not getting mad.” ~ CandyTemporary7074
“NTA. She stole it, and being your girlfriend does not absolve her of the consequences for her actions. If you don’,t she’ll just sell something else behind your back because she didn’t have any consequences this time.” ~ Beautiful-Way-2259
“Good Grief! She’s an a**hole for stealing your stuff.”
“That said, you’ve forgiven her, got back together, and what happened to the money?”
“By filing a police report, your ‘Baby-mama’, who you’re back together with, will probably be arrested. Whether the DA’s office decides it’s worth going forward with charges and a prison term is uncertain.”
“Meanwhile she’ll have that arrest following her for the rest of her life. You’ll be stuck watching three kids while it all gets sorted out.”
“So you’re an a**hole too. Please use birth control for the rest of your lives.” ~ yagooch
“You need to file the police report. You need to leave her. You need to let the cards fall where they land regarding the charges.”
“Staying with this woman teaches your children the wrong things.” ~ Calm_Initial
“What bothers me the most is that she did something so obviously stupid. Did she think you wouldn’t notice it gone immediately?”
“That the suspects are basically just her? That you didn’t have a way to track it down?”
“It’s like she expected you to just shrug your shoulders and go, ‘Oh well, guess it’s gone,’ and not mention it again.”
“The stupidity of it offends me more than the crime.” ~ Sacrip
It seems the OP has more to think about than his iPad.