As a pregnant woman navigates the full length of her pregnancy—what with all the possible ups and downs throughout—it's so important she feels safe and well cared for.
And her maternity doctor is a very important factor in creating a reduced stress environment.
A recent Reddit
post on the "Am I the A**hole (AITA)" subReddit showed what happened when one woman struggled to line up her ideal choice.
The Original Poster (OP), known anonymously as throwingawashek on the site, used the post's title to show what drove the conflict."AITA for choosing a doctor that is inconvenient for my husband."
OP began with some good news and bad news. "My husband and I are expecting our first baby I am about 3 months along. We are both very excited." "The problem is we live in a very small town. And I hate the doctors here. Only 1 will deal with pregnant woman and I think the doctor might be the worse I have seen."OP went on to give specifics."The doctor avoids work at all cost. Yelling at staff if they get called into the hospital late at night because it wasn't that big of an emergency." "She had canceled 3 of my appointments so far saying she is scared to have clients in because of the pandemic." "We haven't had a case in a 100 mile radius yet. She is just lazy."OP took matters into her own hands.
"So I decided to go back to my old family doctor which is in the city with my parents."
"I have been driving into the city for appointments."
But the logistics made plans a tad more complicated. "I suggested to my husband that I go live with my parents during the last month just in case little one decided to be early. And my husband can come stay to once he is start his paternity leave." "My husband likes my parents and they have what used to be an apartment in their house so we would have privacy."OP was surprised by how her husband reacted. "But my husband is calling me a selfish asshole who just cant get along with people. He is scared if I go during the month he would get to be there as it is a bit of a drive." "Even my girlfriend has said maybe I should just suck it up to keep the peace."OP couldn't figure out how to feel. "I just don't want to deal with that doctor. If I end up in labor before the last month I would be sent to the hospital in the city anyways because they don't have the facilities for that level of emergency.""Aita for forcing this choice of doctor."
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
A hefty majority of Redditors assured OP that she wasn't being an a**hole at all. For many, her right to choose was self-evident."NTA - when he's pregnant and able to give birth then he can choose the doctor." -- HowardProject "NTA. YOU are pregnant, therefore YOU get to pick YOUR doctor. Tell hubby he can pick HIS doctor when HE gets pregnant." -- Candy4Evr "NTA. Having a baby is hard enough without dealing with an incompetent doctor. He should support your choice of a doc that you are comfortable with." -- knit-fast-dye-warm "It's your fu**ing doctor??? husband calls YOU selfish because you wanting to be taken care of by professionals is INCONVENIENT TO HIM? he shouldn't have impregnated anyone if he didn't wanna be inconvenienced. NTA" -- SnooLobsters5452Others simply advocated for the importance of a good, trusted doctor throughout the pregnancy and birth. "Your husband is calling you a selfish a**hole for preferring to actually like and trust the doctor who will literally hold the life of you and your unborn child in their hands? No honey, anyone who criticizes you for that is 100% the a**hole. It's not a crime to want to, yanno, survive childbirth. Far from it." "NTA. Pick the doctor you feel most comfortable with. Your husband can just deal. I'm sure he would rather be sightly inconvenienced by some driving distance than risk you/or baby being mistreated or harmed in any way. One would hope, anyway." -- Katt_ler "NTA go to a doctor that would actually take care of you and your baby. Your husband and girlfriend should want you to be in the best hands, just because that doctor is convenient doesn’t mean she’s worth it." -- Most_Disaster_79 "If you're feeling nasty about it, start sending him articles on all the things that can go wrong. I lost a pregnancy because a dr. wasn't paying attention to ultrasound results. It was entirely preventable. It matters a great deal if your doctor is engaged. NTA." -- mipmipmip "NTA. If you have a better doctor in the city, then that's what your husband should be focusing on. Not his inconvenience, especially since you have a baby on the way." "You don't want a half-assed, lazy doctor even if you weren't pregnant. The health and safety of you and your baby are too important to leave in the hands of someone who feels it's an inconvenience to doctor patients." "He and your gf are not thinking about what's best for you and ultimately your baby too." -- WaDaEpAnd one person couldn't even understand the doctor's logic. "I don't understand why this OB/GYN would even be open for business if she's going to cancel because of pandemic...it's not like the pandemic is news?" "And if you can barely even see her, what's the point of even having her as a doctor. I don't see why you should have to deal with a terrible doctor during labor, and your husband's a jerk for telling you you're the one who can't get along with people when clearly that doctor has issues. NTA" -- Spotzie27
And so, at the end of it all, it looks likely that OP will be frequenting her parents' house in the nearby city quite a bit in the weeks to come.
We wish her and the baby on the way all the best health and happiness.
