A new baby is usually an exciting time for parents and extended family alike. Some people like to express their excitement through parties, genitalia detected on an ultrasound reveals or other events.
How much is too much though?
One husband felt he reached his limit. Redditor Beneficial-Poetry-74 found himself in a frustrating situation with his wife, so he turned to the subReddit “Am I the Asshole” (AITA) to see if he was in the wrong.
“AITA for ruining my child’s gender reveal?“
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Myself (27) and my wife (27) are having a boy. We already have a girl who is now 2.”
“My wife is really into films, Oscar type films and she is like an analyser when watching them.”
“So she wanted to make a gender reveal short film [for our first child], 10 minutes long to say we’re having a girl. Kind of weird but I went along with it.”
“We posted it and she was super happy with it but it cost so much. She hired expensive cameras, we drove out to scenic areas for the right shot.”
“I’m working full time during this process, exhausting.”
“So we just found out that we’re having a boy and she started writing a script. I thought there’s no f’king way I’m doing that again.
“So I posted on Facebook ‘we’re having a boy’.”
“She’s pissed at me telling me to delete it but the damage is done. I don’t feel bad. I saved us at least £4,000 [~ $5,452].”
“What I don’t get is why she’s just making films about gender reveals. She can write a script about anything and not be on a strict ~ 6-7 month time limit.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The judgement rendered OP was NTA.
Many Redditors were shocked at the high price tag. They also noted OP’s choice to forgo a discussion with his spouse first.
“NTA, the whole gender reveal party is a bit much in my opinion. But to do a film and spend £4k+ no way.”
“That’s extravagant and exorbitant. Spend that £4k on a starter college fund for the kid or something.”~PM_your_randomthing
“NTA: ‘Gender Reveals’ are the most asinine things that pregnant couples can do.”
“Nobody, other than the two people making the baby, and perhaps their parents and/or siblings, gives a sh*t about what the baby is.”
“Sinking £4k into it just to try to ‘one-up’ other people who do gender reveals is more about the mother trying to look good than anything about the child. Good on you.” ~Insidioustoilet
“NTA, but my God the ability to spend £4k on a ‘gender reveal’ annoys the crap out of me.”
“By the way you’re not having a gender reveal party. You’re having a baby genitalia reveal party.”
“Sex and gender are not the same.” ~2_stanley_nickels
“NTA. You might THINK you saved £4k….but probs you just got yourself one more kid, and your wife will go all out on that reveal.”
“Karma might bring you twins. HAHA.”
“Na, just joking. On a serious note tho: you could have probably been mature and spoken to her about it instead of doing it in an infuriating way for your babymomma.” ~Lackof_creativity
“NTA. I feel bad that you have to go through this. I am married to a person who likes to spend on extravagances that last only a moment.”
“It’s exhausting. I feel like I am always chasing after them or trying to talk them out of spending so much money on something that doesn’t move us forward to paying off a house, a vehicle, or in general, paying off loans.”
”I have been made to feel bad about this—trying to make money go where it should, like ‘You’re no fun, you don’t enjoy yourself’.”
“I have tried to let go, some. I have. And finally my spouse is slowing down and realizing he doesn’t have an infinite amount of life to pay off loans.” ~BlackSeranna
“NTA!! 4K is ridiculous. I think tho you could have talked to her and found a compromise instead of posting on Facebook, but whatever. You do you.”
“Also, gender reveals are stupid. And they can be incorrect.”
”Like my parents had a gender reveal party, and made a big deal of having a girl, and all that sh*t, which made it that much harder for me to come out as non-binary because they made such a big deal of my gender when I was younger.” ~LeeOfHades
“NTA. I can understand a little party with a dyed cake but a £4k short film? That’s just ridiculous.”
“If she’s that bored and has so much pent up creative energy, she can make a film themed scrapbook. That’s relatively low cost and let’s her get her creative energy out.”
“That money could’ve been set aside into a college fund. I think you need to have a discussion with your wife about your finances cause it doesn’t sound like she has a good grasp on what your money should and shouldn’t be spent on.” ~tootiredtodealwithit
“NTA. I never understood why people would do a gender reveal when they already knew the gender. In my opinion, they are for the parents to find out what they’re having.”
”It doesn’t impact your neighbor or your second cousin if you’re having a boy or girl, but these people will be happy to see the surprise on the parent’s faces & support them.”
“I always thought anything outside of the powder bomb/confetti in pink or blue was too much work anyways.”
“I think gender reveals should be to surprise the parents anyways. There’s no point in spending a ton of money because no one else genuinely will care what the gender of your baby is, as long as everyone is healthy & safe.”~spacecowgirl1
While the husband was ruled NTA, communication is key no matter who you think is the a**hole in this situation.