Some people know from a young age what they plan on naming their children when that momentous occasion finally arrives.
However, they soon realize that naming their child won't be as easy as they think.
For one thing, there's no guarantee that their spouse or partner will be as excited about that name as they are.
All expecting parents are forced to listen to suggestions from friends and family members about what to name their child, who ultimately have no say.
Redditor Sensitive_Mode_4255 and their wife were expecting their first child.
Both of them had reached a decision about their child's name.
Unfortunately, things took a turn when one of the original poster (OP)'s in-laws requested that they name the baby after them.
A request the OP absolutely refused to oblige.
After getting blowback from her in-laws, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for being blunt and saying I will never name our child after wife’s sister since she is a spoiled brat?"
The OP explained why naming their baby after their sister-in-law (SIL) was completely off the table:
"My wife and I are expecting our daughter in a few months."
"My wife, I will call her Nora, has a younger sister, Rebecca that everyone in that family is overprotective of."
"I am not a fan of Rebecca. I find her to be a spoiled brat who will cry to mom every time she doesn’t get her own way."
"I find her overall to be rude and entitled."
"Nora family baby’s her, and tbh at 22 she should not be throwing a fit about not getting what she wants."
"One example of this is she had a mini meltdown at our wedding because her shoes were the wrong color."
"Not even by a lot, it was just a different shade of white."
"You couldn’t even see the shoes since the bridesmaid's dress was long."
"So about 30 minutes before we were going to get married, she was crying, and everyone had to comfort her."
"Anyways, we got dinner with my wife’s family this weekend, and during dinner Rebecca said it would be nice to have a niece named after her."
"I shrugged it off, and the dinner went on like normal."
"When we got home, my wife sat me down and told me she wanted to name our daughter after her sister."
"That she brought up how much it would mean to her sister."
"I told her no."
"We have a two yes rule to names."
"Nora texted her and told her no."
"That’s where everything got bad."
"It started with my wife getting texts about changing her mind from her family, and when she stuck to the decision, they got rude about it."
"I started to receive texts, and it ended with me getting a call from my MIL and Rebecca."
"I told both of them no multiple times, and it just started asking why over and over again."
"At that point, I snapped and told both of them that I would never name our daughter after her."
"That she is a spoiled brat and I don’t want our daughter to be anything like her."
"That’s this is literally an example of it."
"I hung up. My wife says I should apologize, but she agrees they were being a lot."
"I still have been getting texts about how Rebecca has been crying since the conversation."
"Her family sees me as a huge jacka** and are still on my case."
"My wife is on my side, but she does want me to smooth things over."
"I really don’t want to and think they need to change."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to name their child after their SIL.
Everyone agreed that the OP was correct in believing that Rebecca's immature behavior needed to stop, and this was a good step in beginning that process:
"NTA."
"Not naming your daughter after her 22-year-old aunt would be perfectly reasonable even if she was a saint in every way, and furthermore, your wife needs to be the one to set her family straight and smooth things over, not you."- SunChaserDiscDyes
"NTA.'
"I am chuckling to myself because Rebecca’s life is about to change when this baby becomes the new favorite kid."
"Really lean into that!"- Acceptable_Bunch_586
"You don't gang up on, harass, beg or even ASK a couple to name THEIR baby a certain name."
"Your wife probably doesn't know how weird this is, given her upbringing."
"NTA."- Own_Eye2543
"Say you do name the child Rebecca."
"What happens when the SIL isn't the center of attention, and everyone is fawning over the new Rebecca?"
"This will not end, and it would not be healthy for your child."
"NTA."- Intelligent-Deal2449
"NTA."
"This is probably a hill worth dying on."- hez_lea
"NTA."
"What kind of person requests a child be named after them?"
"And since when is the extended family involved in the name choice?"
"With all the babies born in my family, we all found out the name after the birth, and when the paperwork was done, no one had a say but the parents."- PurpleMuskogee
"NTA."
"Holysh*tballs."
"Expect the baby shower to be all about your SIL."- MucinexDM_MAX
"NTA."
"Stay firm."
"They wanted to know why - they got it."
"FAFO."- No-Force-9732
"NTA."
"Everyone is spoiling that sister in law of yours and she's become a little monster I would rather have little to no association at all with her."- Ok-Arachnid-890
"NTA."
"Word of advice, keep naming ideas to yourself and gray rock any questions about names."
"Only announce the baby name after the baby is born. It just makes it so much easier."- smcivor1982
"NTA."
"The Lion the Witch and the audacity of that B."
"Holy yikes."- GrlInt3r46
"NTA."
"'No' is a complete sentence."
"The fact that the entire family is harassing you over a name proves exactly why you shouldn't name your child after her."
"You don't want your daughter to grow up thinking that throwing a tantrum is how you get what you want."
"Stand your ground."- Demitwo
"NTA."
"I'm guessing your wife is used to having to appease her sister."
"If they keep asking, start telling them that the fact that they're not taking 'No' for an answer is only further proving your reasoning."- Appropriate-Mall9781
"NTA."
"In any way, shape or form."
"Rebecca has the emotional regulation of a toddler, and your in-laws are stupid for pandering to her."- _JFKFC_
"NTA!"
"You deserve not to be reminded of her every time you look at your own kid."
"Best of luck!"- Ok-Brother8545
"NTA."
"She does sound spoiled."
"Your baby is not a little prop to make her feel better (and IMO it's weird that she'd get an ego boost from it)."
"You kid will be living with the name you choose for her whole life."
"It's better to just ignore outside opinions for this unless you're getting an all around 'you picked a wack name, you sure?'"- Brief-Small
"NTA."
"Tell them that one of them should have a baby since they want to name it after Rebecca so bad."
"When people try to make decisions and are annoying and pushy about my baby, I straight up will tell them to have their own if they want to make major decisions about a baby so bad."- Designer-Salt-946
"Definitely NTA."
"First off, why would you even name a baby after someone who’s still alive? That’s kinda dumb."
"Second, no one cares how Rebecca feels. You want a kid named after you, have a baby."
"Third, stick to your decision if you fold on this, you’ll literally never be able to stand up against that family on anything they’ll get over it eventually or they won’t and they just won’t see your daughter."- jmactruck72
"The fact that the MIL and sister-in-law texted and then called you to hound you about it is insane to me."
"It's weird enough to bring it up in person even once, but to think, 'hey, maybe he didn't get the message that we're not asking and we're demanding. We should follow up and call him. It's wild."
"You are absolutely NTA."
"They are very rude, nervy, and quite honestly, I do not envy you for marrying into that."
"I've seen these things before."
"First it starts with the name, then a few years down the line the MIL or SIL 'fall on hard times' and your wife is going to start hounding you to give them money, then possibly housing them, etc., etc."
'I hope it all works out for you in the end, but this is a huge RED flag, especially the follow-up texts and calls."- Skwuat
When parents choose to name their child after a friend or family member, it's usually because of the positive impact they had on their lives or their stand-up, commendable behavior.
Not because the person in question asked them to.
It seems that Rebecca has gotten her way for far too long, and needs to start learning sooner rather than later that it just won't always be that way.
As many have pointed out, one imagines that when this baby gets more attention than she does, this will become all the more clear.
