Woman Called 'Selfish' For Refusing To Give Ride To Male Coworker After He Insulted Her Car

Sometimes, it can be difficult to decipher the meaning behind what a person says.

Especially when someone is speaking in general terms or "off the cuff."

But some times is clear as day...

Redditor SpaceTall7596 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA for refusing to give my coworker a ride after he insulted my car?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I (27 F[emale]) drive a reliable, older car that I've had since college."

"It's nothing fancy, but it's well-maintained and gets me where I need to go."

"My coworker, Mike (31 M[ale]), recently had his car break down and has been asking for rides from various people at the office."

"Last week, Mike asked if I could give him a ride home."

"I agreed, even though it's a bit out of my way."

"When he saw my car, he made a face and said, 'Wow, I didn't think people still drove these kinds of cars. Why don't you get something nicer?'"

"I was taken aback by his rudeness but brushed it off."

"During the ride, he continued to make snide comments about how my car was 'a piece of junk' and how he couldn't believe I was 'okay being seen in it.'"

"I stayed quiet and just focused on driving."

"When we finally reached his place, he got out without even thanking me."

"The next day, Mike asked me for another ride."

"I told him no, explaining that I didn't appreciate his comments about my car."

"He got defensive and said he was just being honest and that I was overreacting."

"He then went around the office telling people that I was being difficult and selfish."

"Some of my coworkers think I should just let it go and help him out since he's in a tough spot, but I feel disrespected and don't want to be treated like that again."

"I've always been willing to help out, but not at the expense of being insulted."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA for refusing to give Mike a ride after he insulted my car?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA, is it lost on him that his nice-looking newer car (I'm assuming, based on his crap attitude) is broken and he's begging rides while your older car is running just fine?"

"What a dope!"

"He can ride in a better-looking Uber since he's so picky."

"And I hate 'I'm just being honest' being used to justify being an unabashed a-hole." ~ Lacroix24601

"All of this for me."

"Choosing beggars annoys me to no end. NTA." ~ KaijuNo-8

"Exactly. He's not 'just being honest' he's being an a**hole."

"It turns out beggars can be choosers. NTA." ~ 4_feck_sake

"Tell him, you're just being honest that you don't need more stress from his attitude AFTER WORK."

"He's overreacting, acting like I'm difficult and selfish when he's difficult to be with. NTA." ~ tango421

"In a tough spot, gets help from OP out of kindness and empathy, but decides to be rude about a car."

"Where's his car again?"

"Oh yeah, he doesn't have one!"

"And why did he feel the need to keep going when being asked to stop again?"

"Because they felt that if they put you down about it it'll probably make themselves feel better about the fact they had to ask for help."

"Which is such a sh*tty thing to do honestly, I too wouldn't want to help him after that."

"It's not even so much about the car comments, it's about that part to me."

"The car comments are just a shi**y bonus, the way he treated you OP is wrong. NTA." ~ Ali_Cat222

"You can be honest all you like but it's also wise to consider whether something needs to be said out loud too."

"Nobody asked for Mike's opinion on OP's car - which is running while his fancier one isn't."

"He can pay for Uber or walk. definitely NTA." ~ MyDarlingArmadillo

"NTA. He has some nerve to expect a ride from you after insulting you about the car you drive."

"Maybe some of those coworkers who are telling you to help him out 'since he is in a tough spot' can eat their words and help them out themselves." ~ Briiiiiiyonce

"NTA - Your coworker is a rude ungrateful AH."

"He didn't even say thank you. FFF that."

"He can go find a ride elsewhere."

"You were kind enough to do him the favor but he spoiled that all on his own." ~ SweetNSourCat

"NTA. And the added bonus is that when he disliked you telling him why, you could have just responded 'I'm just being honest, you're overreacting.'"

"You don't look gift horses in the mouth, and the idea of being embarrassed to be seen in a reliable old car is just childish."

"Your coworkers can volunteer their time and effort if they feel so strongly about it." ~ OrbitalPete

"NTA of course."

"Respond to any co-workers who tell you that you should help him by saying, 'After insulting my car and me during the ride home yesterday, he's now calling me names in the office and trying to manipulate you into assisting him.'"

"'Antagonizing me is NOT the way to get me to help him.'" ~ plsuh

"NTA. You didn't owe him a ride, to begin with, but after he made the process of doing him a favor so unpleasant, you're even less obligated."

"I can't imagine being so rude to somebody who's going out of their way to help me; I can't imagine why he or anyone else would expect you to be ok with it." ~ TurtleTheMoon

"The minute he started disparaging your car, you should have given him a deadpan look and said, 'And yet, my heap of junk is running and reliable while you're begging for rides because yours is in the shop.'"

"NTA. He burned the bridge with his unjustified sense of entitlement and complete lack of gratitude and grace." ~ Wyshunu

"NTA. And I doubt he would've said as much about the car if you were an older man."

"His getting so defensive just confirms that."

"So are your colleagues telling you that you should drive him anyway?"

"Why aren't they saying he did this to himself and it's up to him to apologize?" ~ stroppo

"NTA. I wouldn't have explained, either."

"On the list of names in my head, Mike's would be crossed out."

"Be sweetly busy and 'unable to help right now' for the rest of your life."

"Ingrates always draw you deeper and deeper into bulls**t."

"Waste of your time."

"But don't become a jerk yourself by blabbing about him."

"Smile and be sweetly busy — never complain, never explain, don't talk behind people's backs." ~ Fun_Wait1183

"NTA. Tell him and all the coworkers that you're unsure why he would want to debase himself so much and ride in a car that he considers to be awful."

"In case, you don't give repeat rides to someone who both insulted you and your car and didn't even bother to thank you for the first ride." ~ CalicoHippo

"NTA. Not only didn't he take the opportunity to apologize for insulting your car, but then he doubled down and insulted you as well."

"Sounds like an unpleasant and ungrateful passenger."

"Even if he was kinder about your car, you should give something back to someone who's giving you a lift."

"Joyful chat, philosophical discussion, share a favorite podcast."

"Or silence, if that would be your preference." ~ kimba-the-tabby-lion

"NTA. It would have been completely reasonable for you to kick him out of the car for his insults leaving him to walk."

"Once he started being rude, before even getting into the car, you could have dumped him at that point too and told him to find another way to get around that meets his standards."

"He is obviously an awful person who needs to learn some very basic manners." ~ Socotokodo

"NTA. Mike can f**k right off."

"Never let that man near your car again, you did him a MASSIVE favor and he spent the entire time insulting you (which is hilarious because his 'nice' car broke down but your 'junk' car is just tootin' right along)."

"Tell your coworkers you can't give Mike a ride because he would be too embarrassed being seen in your car since it's such an old piece of junk." ~ IamtheRealDill

"NTA. You're just being honest, and he's overreacting."

"You're not obligated to give him a ride."

"You're not obligated to be put down because he doesn't like something that has nothing to do with him."

"He wants to be a choosy beggar."

"He can be treated as such."

"There are other people in the office (why doesn't he ask someone else whose already given him a ride?)"

"There are also things like public transportation, Uber/Lyft/ride-sharing, taxis, his own two feet."

"Or, he could always ask friends or family outside the office to chauffer him."

"If he wants people to do favors for him, he can't act like an entitled jacka**."

"He needs to remember that you're doing him a favor, not the other way around."

"Or, if you want to be snarky, just tell him you don't want to embarrass him by allowing anyone to see him in such a piece of junk."

"So, you're just doing him a favor because you listened to what he said and you're just respecting his preferences and wishes."

"ETA: Anyone else that says anything to you about it, just reply with 'Oh that's so wonderful of you, I'll tell (co-worker) that you volunteered to give them a ride!'" ~ Nymph-the-scribe

"NTA, At least your car gets you where you want to go."

"Apparently, his does not."

"NTA. Let the a**hole take a taxi or Uber." ~ Maximum-Swan-1009

"NTA. You are his coworker, not his Uber driver."

"Those in the office who think you're overreacting to his rudeness and overall attitude can offer to give him a ride instead." ~ Winwookiee

"NTA. If I needed a ride, I would say thank you!"

'If I didn't want another ride from you, I would be a disrespectful prick like he was."

"Actions have consequences and it's so odd that people old enough to have jobs don't understand."

"He wasn't honest her was being rude." ~ browncow1525

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

Maybe Mike should get himself a bus pass.

And if your co-workers feel that way, they can jump in and assist.

You put yourself first.

Good luck.