Nothing challenges a relationship more when two people aren’t on the same page.
And surprising as it may seem, one half of a couple thinking that their relationship is far more serious than the other half happens fairly frequently.
And as one might expect, things don’t often end well when this happens.
The boyfriend of Redditor Rare_Lingonberry_431 was looking forward to their visiting him and his family in his hometown, and potentially show them how he saw their future.
But as soon as the original poster (OP) was offered a somewhat more exciting option, they left their boyfriend behind without once looking back.
Wondering if their behavior was insensitive towards their boyfriend, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for blowing off my boyfriend’s plans for a more exciting trip?”
In a short post, written en route to Europe, the OP shared their reasons for abruptly changing their summer plans.
“Typing this at the airport before my flight starts boarding.”
“I’m in college.”
“I’ve been dating Steve for a year.”
“Steve is from a rural town in Ohio where nothing ever happens.”
“He’s been begging me to come out to see him over the summer.”
“I considered it, until I found out my two best friends will be visiting their boyfriends in Europe (exchange students).”
“I was not about to waste two weeks in f*cking Ohio while they’re hiking in the Alps with their boyfriends.”
“So I decided, f*ck this sh*t.”
“And now I’m waiting to board a flight to Denver for six weeks of hiking and camping across four states.”
‘Steve has been blowing up my phone and begging me to reconsider.”
“He wants to introduce me to his family and check out life in Ohio for when we graduate next year.”
“I told him no and hung up when he called me jealous for blowing off Ohio because my friends would be having a cooler summer break than me.”
“I ask if I’m the a**hole because my friends were with me when he last called.”
“While we are sick of Steve’s sh*t, they think I may have been harsh when I blew up at him for pestering me about his stupid summer plans.”
“It’s not just a vacation, he wants a life with me in ducking Ohio.”
“AITA, really?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, all of whom agreed they were fairly clearly the a**hole for blowing off their boyfriend the way they did.
Everyone felt it was fairly clear that the OP was not invested in their relationship with Steve, with some even feeling they were leading him on and urged them to end the relationship for Steve’s sake.
“You can vacation wherever you want with whomever you want, but the way you talk about your boyfriend is really obnoxious.”
“Excuse the f*ck outta him for <gasp> wanting to see his girlfriend.”
“YTA.”- XStonedCatX
“YTA.”
“Break up with him and stop wasting his time.”
“If you’re “sick of his sh*t” then why are you with him.”
“Very immature from your part.”- birbring
“YTA.”
“Please break up with Steve so he can find someone who actually cares about him rather than you.”
“Sounds like you’re not really in the relationship because you give a sh*t about him.”- Stroopwafeled
“YTA.”
“You don’t actually want to be in a relationship with him so end it.”- HistoricalInaccurate
“Lmfaooooo is this serious?’
“Yes, YTA.”
“Fun fact, the blue whale has the largest ah in the animal kingdom, but then here you come.”
‘Imagine if this were the other way around.”
“You want to bring Steve home to meet your family and see your life, where you might grow together.”
“And then, he tells you how annoying your request is and that since his friends are going yachting in the Mediterranean, he’s gonna catch a cruise to the Caribbean instead.”
“Sayonara, sister!”
“Oh, and his friends are sick of your sh*t, so they’re listening in on your calls as he berates you and tells you what a sh*t idea you had.”
‘Makes ya feel warm and fuzzy, don’t it?”
“You would be so devastated and would tell every person you’ve ever met what a d*ck he was for it.”
“Except this time, you’re the d*ck.”
“Just break up with him, although I would MUCH rather he find this and break up with you.”
“You deserve that.”- DntMindMeImNtRlyHere
“YTA.”
“Mainly because you dismissed your boyfriends feelings and acted like he is the problem for wanting to spend time with you.”
“If the simple, Ohio life, is not for you, then maybe you should move on and let your boyfriend find a more suitable girlfriend.”
“Why didn’t you ask him to go hiking with you?”- Old_Ad_1558
“Do Steve a favor and break up with him.”
“YTA.”- VirtualEconomy
“YTA, 100%.”
“How can you not see it!?.”
“You’ve decided to not meet your boyfriend’s parents and instead are going to the alps because it sounds more appealing.”
“What impression is that going to make for when you actually meet them?”- Angry_Toaster72
“YTA.”
“Blew off your plans with your boyfriend because a better opportunity came up.”
“Shows your character and he’d be wise to see it and run.”- PaintLicker_2022
“I think you know YTA.”- WiseBat
“YTA for obvious rage bait nobody is this clueless.”- Testingthrowaway00
“YTA.”
“Am I missing something or does summer now only consist of 6 weeks?”
“Just break up with the guy, why the hell are you together if you have such apathy for the dude?”-ProjectCrazed
“YTA.”
“You’ll never be happy with Steve if you’re comparing vacations and expenditures with love from a man who wants to share his life with you.”
“He tried to talk and you hung up.”
“You’re immature and self-centered.”
“Oh, and yes YTA.”- stilljenni
“YTA.”
“I hope Steve dumps you.”- LobsterJoseph
“YTA .”
“You don’t even seem to like Steve.”- Hippotamoose27
“YTA.”
“I hope Steve dumps you, he deserves someone who actually appreciates him and not his location.”- CantChangeThisLater0
“Yes, YTA.”
“You’re not respecting him or his family at all.”
“If you’re a decent person and care about him at all, you’ll apologize and meet his family down the road.”
“But it doesn’t come across that you actually care about his feelings at all, frankly.”
“Very immature decision, and awful way to handle conflict.”-Rhemming22
“YTA.”
“Big time.”
“You sound really snotty.”
“Do Steve a favor and end it, so he doesn’t waste anymore time on you.”- chriswillar
‘Yeah, you are beyond question TA here.”- Slackingatmyjob
“YTA.”
“Please break up with him to spare him a life with you.”- DarkAthena
“YTA and Steve can do better.”
“You’re bailing on him just be a something better came up.”
“Won’t you be a sad one when someone better approaches him and he realizes he’s the winner here.”- _PeanutbutterBandit_
“YTA.”
“I get it.”
“Ohio kinda sucks.”
“I’ve been there about 50x due to family there, but why again are you dating Steve if it’s so easy to choose?”
“I understand wanting to have fun but I don’t think you should expect a boyfriend back when you return.”- snsmadness89
“You’re a major asshole.”
“Wow.”-luckibigfan
“YTA.”
“Break up with him and find yourself.”
“Don’t drag him along because you may be interested in the future.”
“He obviously wants to set up roots after college in Ohio and you obviously don’t want to be a hometown girl.”
“You haven’t dealt with this situation in the mature way at all.”
“Learn from it and don’t settle before you are ready to.”
“Be harsh and breakup, if that’s what is inevitably going to happen.”
“You are not ready to put someone else first and that is totally okay, unless you continue stringing him along.”- lost-girl96
“YTA.”
“I’m surprised he hasn’t broken up with your ass, but he sounds desperate.”
“Poor guy.”- Give-Me-Five-Dollars
“I think you actually don’t like/love Steve and he’s obviously in love with you, because despite of you cancelling plans he is still trying for the last moment heart change which is not going to happen as per this post.”
“It’s better you tell him you have no plans to settle with him in future and whatever you think.”
“YTA tho.”- navukx
“YTA for not just breaking up with him so he can find someone that’s better suited for him and doesn’t think his life is ‘f*cking stupid’.”- ExcellentWaffles
“YTA.”
“You’re jealous of your friends, and think that Ohio is a waste of time, despite your boyfriend being there.”
“Did you even think of inviting your boyfriend on your little side trip?”
“I bet you didn’t.’
“You can still go to Ohio and meet the family after the trip.”
“Or you could have scheduled the trip to be after meeting the family.”
“There’s plenty of time unless I’m missing something about how long summer break is.”
“Is that what you honestly think of your boyfriend?”
“I feel bad for the guy, because I think he sees this as a more serious relationship than you do.”
“Please use some of this hiking/camping time to think about what you want from, and what you are contributing to this relationship in the long term.”
“Maybe you and Steve are better off not being together.”- WhizGidget
One can’t blame the OP for wanting to hike across three states rather than spend the summer in a small Ohio town.
But, based on everything they’ve said, it’s fairly perplexing why they are even staying in this relationship, which they seem to have nothing invested in.
Making it as or more perplexing that Steve wants to stay in this relationship either.