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Redditor Stops Working Out With Male Friend Because ‘Cute Guys’ Might Think He’s Their Boyfriend

Thomas Barwick/Gettyimages

Redditor Guilty_Kiwi63 is a gymgoer who proclaimed they were going through a “glow-up” period after noticing a change in their appearance.

Because of their positive, physical transformation, they made a fitness decision based on an assumption that was met with criticism.

After being accused of being “silly” over their solo decision, they visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for not wanting to go workout with my male friend anymore because I saw there’s a lot of cute guys at the gym and now I’m worried they might think I have a boyfriend?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I went with him originally because he’s very knowledgeable about it and I said maybe he could show me some of the exercises like how to do squats and such.”

“Since then we got in the habit of going together and becoming workout partners. However as this is part of my glow-up period, where I lose weight and get more toned and then hotter guys start to notice me more, I’ve been thinking there’s some cute guys at this gym but if they see me with my friend they’ll assume he’s my boyfriend.”

“Because of this I told him it’d be better if we didn’t go together anymore.”

“When he asked me why I explained it to him but he said that was silly of me and claimed even I should be happy if being with him prevented other guys from hitting on me.”

“AITA for rather wanting to go on my own from now?

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Redditors didn’t look upon the OP favorably.

“I mean….you don’t go to the gym to get a boyfriend. You go to work out…….And if it were me, and a man was looking at me as dating material AT the gym and asked me out or started talking to me while flirting, I’d switch the times I went or even switch gyms.”

“May seem extreme to some, but I don’t want to be ogled out. I just want to do my work out and go home?”

“YTA. Your guy friend is giving you awesome advice, and you’re about to throw away a supportive gym partner with the idea that MAYBE these gym buffs don’t have girlfriends and for some reason are more interested in you than the workout.” – Own-File7336

“YTA. You’re one of those irritating people that’s at the gym for the attention instead of actually working out.”

“Imagine if he refused to be seen in public with you because people might assume you’re his girlfriend!” – squeakylittlecat

“You’re dumping your friend so you possibly can get attention from strangers? YTA.”

“ETA do not harres man in the gym, it is not okay.” – Useful-Importance664

“Not just strangers…. HOTTER strangers. YTA op. Change your views quick or you are going to live a life of disappointment.” – thesounditmakes28

“YTA so your fantasy of cute imaginary boy noticing you at the gym is more important than your friend who kindly offered to help you lose weight and get in shape.” – Churchie-Baby

“Also, OP YTA for thinking that the gym is some pickup spot. It’s not. Most times, people are paying you zero attention, and there are very few people who want to ever have their workout interupted because someone thinks they’re cute.” – Electrical-Date-3951

“I was just thinking….’oh so YOU’RE the girl that gives men the impression that women like being hit on at the gym, f’king great.’ Being hit on at the gym is one of my biggest pet peeves.”

“OP- maybe focus on viewing working out as a way to be better and STRONGER and not just a vehicle to a ‘glow up.’ If your motivation for going to the gym is because there are cute boys there the chances of this habit lasting are not that high.” – Secure-Positive5733

“YTA. No one wants to get hit on at the gym. Also, if you think you’re looking cute at the gym you’re not working out hard enough 🥴 I look like a sweaty bridge troll at the gym.” – WhizmoAlke

“OP is the worst kind of “friend.” She will gladly accept the kindness of her buddy and then not want to be seen with him in case someone finds her attractive. With that kind of attitude, she won’t have to worry about that.” – boxing_coffee

“She’s still in the midst of her ‘glow up’, no one has even noticed her or hit on her yet. All of this is just a fantasy of what will happen once she gets fit. It’s despicable either way but it’s even funnier this way because no one has even approached her.”

“YTA OP.” – meanwhileaftrmdnight

“OP is being a poor friend, yes, but this comment is giving off weird entitlement vibes. Her friend putting in work does not entitle him to her time. That and the meat head comment feel bad to me.” – Khabuem

“YTA. You used him when it suited you, but now you’re going to drop him. He also looses a gym buddy. You’re potentially creating a fight/end of a friendship for such a stupid reason.”

“You can perfectly go to the gym and flirt with other men. He doesn’t have to be seen as your bf. Or you can go together half of the time and the other half, you can go alone.”

“Your choice, but If I (25 Male) heard my female friend say something that selfish and childish, I would draw my own conclusions on the friendship.” – SimpleBelgianLogic

“Ok, so just for some clarity: You want to dump a friend that helped you at a low point in your life, helped you gain health and confidence, so that maybe some sweaty rando at the gym will ask you out?”

“Also, it’s not helpful that you are trying to make the gym a pick up spot- the gym is a place people should feel comfortable sweating and getting dirty without someone staring at them or thinking they want to be asked out.”

“Also, How fun will it be to go to the gym and see the guy you went on the awkward date with last week? Yep, YTA.” – christycat17

“YTA. So you used his help when it benefitted you but as soon as you got in shape, you ditched the guy? Okaaay.”

“Also, let these ‘cute guys’ exercise in peace. This is a gym, they come here to exercise, not to find a potential wife. If you happen to meet someone there, cool, but matchmaking is not the purpose of that place.” – No-Jellyfish-1208

“YTA. You used your friend and now that it’s no longer convenient you don’t want him to go anymore? You’re choosing the possibility of picking up a guy, over your friend.”

“Besides, he might not even prevent people from approaching you. Just because a guy and a girl are together, doesn’t mean people are going to assume you’re dating. If they really wanted to know, they would ask.”

“And the way you wrote that and worded it just made me cringe. I’m sorry, but it sounded so vain and shallow.”

“Edit: It also doesn’t stop you from approaching others. Also, I’m pretty sure there was a near identical post to this but it was a guy ditching his friend not long ago.” – Ok-Writer-774

“YTA. Most dudes are there for the gym, will therefore not give a f’k about what you do or what you look like.” – zZombi__

“YTA. Your friend helped you get fit. Now that you’re fit, you want to ditch him so you can get more sexual attention. You are not a very good friend. He is better off without you.” – warrinerdot

“Please do not approach strangers at the gym to hit on them. It’s not the place for it. People get self conscious enough or just want to make it through their workout.”

“If you are to approach someone make friends (even then it’s very dependant how you do it). Gym isn’t a hookup or relationship finding spot. It’s a place where people go for their own health and fitness (health being mental as well)” – magicnoodleman

“YTA. You are very very shallow. Also, who the f’k ditches a friend over possible hook-ups?! Also, the gym is not a place to pick up and flirt, people go there to workout. There are enough other places to go to to pick up people.” – KrachtSchracht

“YTA He helped you attain your goals and now that you feel better about your self you want to ditch your friend? If the guys didn’t hit you up before you started getting fit then why do you want their interest anyways?”

“If the roles were reversed it’d hurt your feelings. Don’t even try to deny it.” – Character_Air_8163

Overall, Redditors criticized the OP and called them “shallow” for treating the gym like a hookup location instead of a place where people are more focused on trying their best to achieve their fitness goals.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo