Being a teacher comes with many challenges.
So does being a student.
It is for this reason that one of a teacher's main duties is to make sure that their classroom is a safe space, where students are protected and can learn in an encouraging environment.
For if a teacher makes a student feel unsafe, the chances of their learning will be severely limited.
Redditor FluffyDirection1582 felt that a recent substitute teacher made their classroom an unsafe environment for her best friend, and wasn't afraid to say so to the teacher's face.
But. when her parents scolded her for doing so, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for mocking a new teacher in front of the whole class?"
The OP first explained how her best friend saw herself become an easy target for bullying over the last year.
"I (16 F[emale]) have a childhood friend named Karen, and as you can imagine after the internet meme her life turned into a living hell."
"It got worse recently because she normally do highlights in her hair, but because of a mistake when bleaching, she had to cut it short, so it's almost an 'internet Karen' haircut."
"She is VERY insecure about it and normally only introduce herself as 'Ka', unless the situation asks for her full name."
"We are in the same class at school."
But poor Karen would soon find herself the source of bullying at school once again, though from a rather surprising culprit.
"Today one of our teachers went on maternity leave and of course we had a substitute teacher."
"She was kind of desperate to fit in with the class, but seemed okay enough."
"She started to ask for the students names to familiarize herself with us and would occasionally do small comments like 'you have the same name as my niece' and stuff like that."
"When she got to my friend, she looked at her name and haircut and said 'are you going to ask for my manager, Karen?'."
"The class giggled."
But the OP found nothing funny about the joke, and felt the only solution was to give her substitute teacher a taste of her own medicine.
"Now, this is where high school politics come into play so please bear with us dumb teenagers."
"If my friend just let it be, she would become unable to defend herself from our colleagues because 'even the teacher makes jokes!'."
"If she had confronted the teacher she would be a stuck up boring jerk."
"If I had confronted the teacher in a serious manner I would become a wanna be goody two shoes."
"And she is too shy to answer with another joke, but I am not, and I was fuming, so I decided to fight fire with fire and went on a long streak of jokes basically mocking the teacher for being old and trying to fit in with teens by using outdated internet memes."
"The whole class was laughing very loud when I finished."
"Well, the teacher got obviously mad and took me to the pedagogue, who sent an email to my parents detailing the situation."
"My parents are not very chill, so I was punished, had a long argument and I'm now grounded for 'not respecting the elders'."
"My friend is feeling really guilty because she thinks it's her fault I got in trouble."
"I disagree, she didn't force me to do anything."
"I tried to help her and because of my approach she is feeling guilty, but I also feel like our school life would have been ruined if I didn't do anything."
"So AITA?"
The OP also clarified that the ongoing jokes Karen faced always hit her fairly hard, and also clarified that the substitute teacher's behavior did not go unnoticed by the pedagogue.
"The bullying was heavy enough to put my friend in therapy."
"That's why I'm asking if I'm the AH for my approach, not if the teacher is innocent."
"You won't be able to convince me that mocking a student is right and she was not trying to be popular with the students by putting my friend under the bus, knowing it might be delicate."
"I did describe the entire situation, the pedagogue even said that since the teacher had 'started it', they would only notify my parents and then they had a talk with me about controlling my emotions, not being impulsive and having the appropriate reaction."
"My school is normally pretty cool with this kind of stuff, and they were very patient, waited for me to calm down before asking questions, I really appreciated their work here."
"I don't think it was wrong to simply tell the situation to my parents."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You're the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not at all the a**hole for sticking up for her friend.
Everyone agreed that the substitute teacher's behavior was beyond inappropriate, and that the OP was only following the example that she set for the class, though some felt she could have stood up for Karen in a more mature way.
"NTA."
"You called the teacher out on her bullsh*t."
"She's a teacher, she should not be mocking students."
"Also, your description of school politics was very adept."
"You seem very smart."
"However, use that intelligence to find better ways of dealing with confrontations in the future."
"There are ways to shut down people's poor behavior in ways that don't put you on the sh*t list."-WannaBeADriver94
"NTA."
"If anyone mocks someone then that person should be prepare to be laughing stock too."
"I'm glad you defended your friend, and tell your parents to find their common sense if they're ok with adults making fun youngsters by making them feel bad, anyway it worth the punishment XD."-Maleficent-Bday801
"NTA."
"Wow I can't believe the teacher said that to your friend."
"In my view for an adult to make a joke at a child's expense especially in a setting like in front of their entire high school class is totally inappropriate."
"I'm glad you stuck up for your friend but not surprised you got in trouble, but sometimes getting in trouble is worth it if it's doing the right thing."- True_Being_1775
"Teacher here."
"NTA."
"The teacher could have reasonably assumed your friend hears that joke all the time."
"It's not hard to imagine that anyone named Karen would hear that regularly."
"It was a joke at the child's expense, however innocuous she may have thought it was, which is a stupid thing to do to a child your first interaction with them."
"You mention she didn't know of your friend's insecurities - exactly why she, as a teacher, shouldn't make jokes at her expense."
"Perhaps you overreacted."
"But that doesn't make you the AH as far as I'm concerned."
"She's the adult in the situation, she should have done better."- Radley500
"NTA the teacher could've used common sense."
"People named Karen might be bullied & hurting by all the assholes out there."
"Honestly, I don't know what you could've done to help your friend without going on the offense."
"I say well done."
"Sometimes we have to hurt others to protect those close to us."
"Not ideal, but that's life."-1000sEastward
"The teacher was an adult, and she was openly mocking an underage student."
"If she didn't want to be mocked in return, she shouldn't have started it."
"So yeah, NTA."- Chemical_Relation008
"NTA."
"Teachers who can't offer respect to their students are not owed respect from their students."
"Age and positions of authority are not an excuse to bully and harass people, they bring a responsibility to NOT do those things."-WitchAllyAlly
"NTA."
"But your friend needs to learn to stick up for herself."
"I completely understand your response, though, and I actually believe it was fitting."
"As others have said, anyone who makes a joke at another's expense needs to be willing to take the same, and that goes double for adults mocking children."
"The substitute was way out of line."
"That being said, your friend ought to have done more in this situation."
"It is respectable to want to defend her, but even if she couldn't have responded to the sub at the time, she should have filed a complaint against her with your pedagogue or administration, citing that she was being insulted by an authority figure and was not okay with being treated so rudely."
"She could have even explained more of the story to said pedagogue when you were sent."
"Neither your friend nor you should stress too much about the approval of your peers."
"It is a difficult age and a confusing social hierarchy, but like I said above, your friend needs to learn her own ways of handling those circumstances."
"Shyness will not get a person very far."
"You are a good person, OP, and very much like I was at your age."
"But you are not responsible for others' happiness or security."
"Don't let your temper carry you too far."-pyrrhic-adventure
Students who behave out of line in a classroom by all accounts should be disciplined.
But a teacher should always lead by example, and when a teacher makes fun of a student, it becomes easy for fellow students to justify doing the same.
Here's hoping that this substitute teacher learned this lesson, and will think a little more carefully next time she's put in charge of a classroom.















Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.