It is true that when it comes to gifts it’s the thought that counts. But, that means spending more than 5 mins thinking about it.
But Redditor CaptainCanadia2020 encountered an issue with his wife. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment on a hypothetical question.
“AITA for being mad at my wife for cheap anniversary present?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife (27F) and I (28M) have been married for 3 years and yesterday was our anniversary.”
“We had a nice dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant. After that we exchanged gifts, which we were both excited for since it is both our love language.”
“I had gotten her a charm bracelet with two charms, one of them being one with an engraving about eternal love, which she had been hinting towards. She was obviously very happy when she opened it.”
“Then came my turn, and when I opened my ‘gift,’ which was in a gift bag and not even wrapped, it was a 3 pack of underwear from freaking Walmart and a chunky Kitkat (which to be fair is my favorite).”
OP wasn’t enthused.
“Needless to say, my reaction was quite underwhelming which she did notice.”
“When she asked, I did let her know how. I was unhappy about the lack of effort she had put towards the gift.”
“Her reasoning was that she thought I would love the gift, since I had casually mentioned a few weeks back that I needed to buy more underwear and because I love that chocolate (which is true).”
“She then ended her explanation with, ‘men are just hard to buy for,’ which sounds like bs because she’s always gotten me good gifts in the past.”
“Then she cried and said I had ruined the anniversary by acting like an unappreciative a-hole.”
“Also, just for some background, we both have well paying jobs and she actually makes quite a bit more than me.”
OP added some edits.
“Edit – Some clarifications:”
“I am not just assuming this is both our love language. I know for a fact this is because we’ve talked about this multiple times in the past and even taken the quiz together.”
“I know I messed up on the wording of the title but a good gift for me is not just something that’s expensive. I could be a budget item as long as it feels thoughtful and unique in someway and doesn’t feel like part of a grocery run to Walmart. I know it’s the thought that counts, but this felt thoughtless to me.”
“Those people who are telling me I should’ve fake liked the gift. No.”
“Past gifts always felt more thoughtful and were definitely not from Walmart and often had more meaning to them. Like for last anniversary she got us custom his/her keychains.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. If I got panties and a chocolate bar for an ANNIVERSARY gift I’d be really disappointed too. ‘Men are hard to buy for’ is a lame excuse. She had a year to ask around, Google ideas, she could’ve tried a lot harder than that.” ~ highest_inthe_room
“Exactly. And this isn’t some cousin you see once a year. She lives with him all year. There is no way the only thing she got out of living with him was he wanted…underwear.” ~ Sweet_Charming82
“That sounds entirely doable to not have an idea what they’d want, depending on the personality of the person the gifts are for.”
“I think the real indicator here is if they’ve done well in the past and not this time which suggests what changed was her effort” ~ Lowbacca1977
“That’s what got me, ‘men are hard to buy for’ is ridiculous. Men talk about things they’d like to have just like we do and if you care about someone you take notice. NTA op.” ~ chelledees
“My husband is very hard to buy for, because when he has something he wants he researches then gets the exact thing he wants.”
“If it’s too expensive for him, it’s definitely too expensive for me to buy for him lol. Which is why I have to put a lot of thought and actual effort into his gifts. Even though it’s not his love language at all and he doesn’t really care much. I do.” ~ Helpful-Wrangler280
OP could’ve Google ideas.
“My dad is the same way! He buys it for himself, and says it’s a gift from us, which is cute but not same. It doesn’t help that he doesn’t really like cards either.”
“I usually end up baking something or making a meal for him as a present. It’s always a gift he likes, so it’s one I can prepare without fail.” ~ Vig_Big
“Nah, they are hard to buy for. My boyfriend talks about things he wants. But they’re always things that are $200+ or more. And I just can’t afford that with my current salary right now.” ~ mewtwothree666
“Even when they don’t you can usually get a clue if you listen closely enough… I’m getting a friend a tiny stuffie of his favorite animal (he wouldn’t shut up about how cute they are on multiple occasions), hoping that one lands…” ~ mechnight
“Oh my god, my favorite thing to do is write down all the random stuff my husband mentions and then when birthdays/anniversaries/Christmas roll around, surprise him with things he had even forgotten thinking about. Puts a giant smile on my face.” ~ DuckDuckBangBang
“You buy underwear when you run to the store because they are needed, not as a damned gift. Yuck.”
“How about a book about something that interests them, tickets to an event, nice clothing, something they can do together like cooking classes for the two or something? Anything but underwear (or socks).” ~ JuryNo7670
“I have a running Google keep document for my Fiancé – if he mentions something he likes, I note it down – I have a horrible memory.”
“That way when gift ideas are needed I take something off the list and I can also distribute ideas to family and friends. He thinks I’m amazing for ‘remembering’ something he mentioned 6 months ago. Win-win.” ~ MzFrazzle
It does seem a little rushed.