Woman Livid After Broke Friend Who Never Picks Up Tab Demands Reimbursement For Pizza

Relationships are never split evenly.

Whether we're talking about friendships, co-workers or lovers, the division of labor and resources is never perfect.

So, the question becomes how to navigate the disparity and what happens when one side seems to relish in that imbalance.

That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) InteractionFirst5109 when she came to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for judgment.

She asked:

"AITA For Refusing To Venmo My Friend For Pizza & Possibly Ending The Entire Friendship Over It?"

A quick introduction.

"I (26F) have been best friends with Dawn (30F)."

"Dawn lives alone, does not have a license, and works full time."

"I work full time as well, I have a car and make significantly more money than Dawn."

"From the start of our friendship/ any relationship I am in I've always been someone who doesn't mind picking up the tab, driving, hosting, cooking, etc., and do these things without any expectation of anything in return."

"As my love language is acts of service and giving."

A shift in behavior.

"Within the last year of our friendship I've noticed Dawn stopped bringing cash out, when we went out."

"I thought this was rude so started asking for split bills, every time I did this Dawn would make it known how 'poor' she is and I noticed her bringing up financials all the time."

"This made me uncomfortable and honestly annoyed because Dawn is not poor, Dawn just lives like she's a millionaire, Ubers everywhere, doordash every meal, Starbucks everyday, going out to the bar every night, etc."

"On Friday Dawn and I went out and I drove us( like I always do), paid for dinner and a drink, then took us home and we continued drinking at her place."

"A few hours later Dawn asks if I wanted to get pizza delivered I said sure."

"With the promo she had the pizza costs 15$ish dollars delivery charge included and when it arrived she told me I wasn't allowed to have a slice until I venmo her $7.50."

OP took a stand.

"I don't know why this is when I snapped, but I did and I told her it hurts my feelings that I feel like I do a lot for her and this is ridiculous."

"She then says 'I'm poor and you're rich' and then I really snapped and told her that she's not poor, she's broke. - I said this because she makes good money, she's just f*cking terrible with it."

"For info - I do make a significant amount more than her and maybe that makes me the a**hole."

"I also don't feel great about throwing the things I've done for her in the past in her face during this argument, as I really did do those out of love and never with the intentions of anything in return."

OP was left to wonder,

"Am I the a**hole for thinking it's ridiculous to ask me for $7.50?".

Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• • NTA - Not The A**hole
  • YTA - You're The A**hole
  • NAH - No A**holes Here
  • ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided: NTA

The entitlement.

"NTA. If she wanted to split the pizza bill, she should have said that before ordering."

"The way she asked - venmo before eating - is insanely rude even if you hadn't already paid for a lot."

"It's clear she feels entitled to your money, which isn't reasonable even if you do make more than her." ~ reggiesnap

"NTA."

"This 'friend' is using you."

"If you want to maintain contact set ground rules moving forward."

"Like everything you do you pay for your own."

"Watch how fast she stops coming around or asking to do things."

"She's greedy. Poor with money and feels entitled to yours."

"Boundaries or nada moving forward." ~ thinkingwhynot

"I've been in a similar situation as OP."

"I did so much for my friend from covering rent (we were roommates), paying for all of the groceries, to even helping her get makeup and fake nails."

"I did it all because i cared for her, and i wanted her to be happy."

"She ended up not paying me back for anything i did in any way, shape, or form, not even a thank you from her after a while."

"She just expected it from me."

"So when she did have an opportunity to do a little something nice for me, for absolutely free might i add, and she just 'didn't think about it' I moved tf out and blocked her on everything."

"NTA OP: I've been there and done that. Nothing will change or get better if you don't stand your ground and draw a boundry. I hope you can keep this energy for future friends." ~ GaiboiMclovin

"'This 'friend' is using you'"

"And is rather short-sighted as well, I have to say."

"If she had just been a little less overt, it sounds like she could've kept the gravy train going indefinitely."

"Instead, she's blown things up over not being willing to chip in a few bucks every once in a while." ~
scarves_and_miracles

Dawn's motivations might be sinister.

"NTA"

"She's been taking advantage of you for a while."

"It's always hard to know who your friends are when money's involved."

"It's one thing to have everybody at the table taking out their money and one person saying 'I've got this' and a completely different thing for everyone at the table to not bring money because one person often covers the whole check." ~ AgentAlpo

"👆🏾 This."

"OP, you need to listen to this. Dawn is taking advantage of you, and I dare say your love language will continue to make you vulnerable to this type of dependence or outright leeching."

"Life lesson:"

"You need to be more circumspect with how you share favors with people."

"Do it only with people who are of the same mindset."

"Mindset doesn't mean they need to be of the same income level or even that they match your generosity 1:1 by picking up the tab every other time..."

"No, rather that they make the offer (and are genuinely willing to pay) on some occasions and do not have an expectation that you'll pick up the tab."

"You'll have more inner peace and honestly, you'll feel better about your generosity because you know it is truly appreciated and not seen as an entitlement."

"Dawn's friendship is 100% worth losing, but I think you already knew that."

"NTA." ~ Consistent-Annual268

Money Management?

"NTA- I am so sick of financially irresponsible people claiming to be poor or being mad at rich people."

"I literally argued with a girl making $280k!!! Who was talking about she can't afford to live in the Bay Area and how it was millionaires fault."

"Like maybe don't argue with driving your $70k vehicle and in your designer cloths while you have $1000 delivery app fee each month" ~ Drew_P_Nuts

"I'm right there with you. Having better money management would make a lot of 'poor' people seem not so poor."

"My husband and I make under 70k a year combined with 2 kids."

"And I would never call us poor because we make due and it absolutely grinds my gears when I see people make double what we do and complain about money and expect us to pick up tabs because we don't complain about being poor so we must have more money."

"Your friend clearly prioritizes her own luxuries over being a decent friend." ~ Mo-2s2

"Poor and broke are 2 different things."

"I grew up poor, like being food insecure and housing insecure at certain points."

"There is no extra money."

"I've been broke, so to speak, in the past."

"But, you friend is just using you."

"She sees nothing wrong with mooching off of you and probably others, even though she refuses to manage her money better."

"This isn't the kind of friend you need." ~ bloodrose_80

Guilt.

"You don't need to feel guilty."

"There is a huge difference in offering to pay a bit more sometimes, or treating someone, because you know you earn more, and feeling obligated to do it every time, or, worse, have someone assume that they are entitled to it."

"Think about why you were friends in the first place, and whether she is someone you still have things in common with and enjoy spending time with."

"IF so, then great. If not - well, people grow and change, and sometimes they grown apart. That doesn't make either of you bad people."

"If you do still feel that you have enough in common that you want to stay friends, then think about how much you are prepared to do -"

"That might mean that you are willing to drive her and not ask for gas money but don[t want to pay the bills for food or events, it might mean that you insist that you split bills evenly but decide that you are happy to cover the tip."

"IT might mean that you are clear with her tht you feel the financial expectations are making you feel used so you want to revert to hanging out without doing stuff that costs money / much money."

"Or that you want to agree up front that any costs will be split 50/50 , and then see how she responds." ~ ProfessorYaffle1

The division of labor or resources or time isn't really the point here.

There's no even split that's going to be perfect all the time across any sort of relationship and the real question is are all parties giving all they can?

Be kind.