Redditor Correct_Foot_3630 is a woman who doesn’t get along with a woman named Tamara.
Because of the Redditor’s association with Tamara’s husband, they tried keeping things civil.
Unfortunately, things quickly went south when Tamara became flustered over a recent development that included her 3-year-old and a concert featuring the singer, Olivia Rodrigo.
Their fallout led the Redditor to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit where she asked:
“AITA for saying a concert is more important than a child?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband’s best friend is married with Tamara. Tamara and I don’t have a good relationship even tho we keep it civil.”
“We had some drama a few months ago because her daughter wasn’t in my bridal party and because I didn’t invite her to my bachelorette party and she was pissed. but she’s not my friend and I don’t have a close relationship with her daughter.”
“I had my husband’s nephews in my bridal party and my two little cousins not some friend’s daughter I’m not close with.”
“But don’t think it’s just on my side. She has been nasty and passive agressive towards me since day 1 because she always wanted my husband to be with one of her friends.”
“Anyway, her daughter is now turning 3 and it’s the first birthday she can celebrate. The years before she didn’t do it because of COVID. It turns out the weekend she’s having the party I’m out of the country.”
“We’re from Europe and I’m flying to Italy to go to an Olivia Rodrigo concert with my best friend. Ticket were super hard to get and I’m really excited because I’m taking a week vacation with my friend to see Milan and some cities near it.”
“We’ve never traveled together due to money and schedules and we’re super elated about it. We also love Olivia sooooo much (we’re 26 female) and we are dying to see her live because we had tickets for Lover fest and it ended up being cancelled so we were not able to go.”
“I must also add my best friend and I see each other 2 a year since we live in different cities and it’s a long distance.”
“Now, the day that Tamara invited us I told her I was sorry but I had my travel planned. Tbh, even if the concert would have came up later, I still would have chosen the concert since I’m not even close with the kiddo and this concert is a one in a lifetime experience.”
“Tamara was furious about it and asked me if a stupid concert was more important that her daughter, I answered YES to me it was. I really don’t think a concert is more important BUT i’d rather have that experience than going to her child’s birthday.”
“She ended up leaving super mad. Her husband thinks she’s over reacting and mine thinks that also but she’s demanding I apologize. Well, I’m not apologizing.”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole here.
“NTA in my opinion. She doesn’t like you. You don’t like her. You’ve had this trip planned for quite awhile.”
“What I don’t get is why she’s got her panties in a bunch over you, again- someone she doesn’t like at all, refusing to go due to prior important plans. Sounds to me like she’s trying to create drama hoping to cause a fight between you and your husband.”
“I don’t think you have any reason to apologize either. As for your trip to see your best friend and the concert? I hope you both have a fantastic time!” – FugglerFan
“NTA. A three year old you aren’t even close with is not going to have a better time if you go. And even if you were close, you could always stop by with a gift and birthday wishes another time.”
“Saying you’re choosing a concert over a child is overdramatizing the whole situation.” – crimansquafcx2
“NTA. Your husband’s best friend’s kid’s 3rd birthday party is not a priority to ANYONE other than your husband’s best friend’s family and the wife’s family.”
“The kid is 3. She just wants cake and ice cream.”
“She could care less if you are there.” – The__Riker__Maneuver
“NTA. First of all, this is not about ‘a concert being more important than her daughter’. It’s more ‘that concert is more important than a birthday party of a little girl I’m not really close to.'”
“Second, this is about ‘spending time with my friend I don’t get to see very often’ and ‘I already planned it and it was expensive, I won’t miss out.'”
“Sure, you could have said that with a few other words, but, really, she’s not entitled to your time and money. You’re not even close!”
“Don’t apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.” – redsoxx1996
“NTA.”
“Having to visit the birthday party of a three year old with a mother that doesn’t like you seems like a waste of time. To the girl, her friends from Kindergarten will be way more important than you.”
“And for you, the long planned vacation is way more important.” – AlHazard33
“NTA – A 3-year-old’s birthday party is not a mandatory event that anybody should be expected to cancel major plans to attend.”
“Tamara is being kind of a momzilla IMO and seems to expect the world to revolve around her kid. Don’t apologize to someone who is making unreasonable demands . She’ll just continue to do stuff like this over and over if you don’t set clear boundaries and expectations with her.” – Used_Mark_7911
“NTA.”
“It also sounds like Tamara has a LOT of issues she needs to work on. I think it’s very unusual for a person claiming to not like someone also being incredibly obsessed with them at the same time. I do hope Tamara gets the help she needs cause my goodness, based on your post and the comments, she sounds very unhinged.” – JayTheCoug
“NTA- she asked the question, she deserves the response. You probably could have been more empathetic and helped Tamara feel more loved, just get her sake.”
“However, not perfectly responding is but the same as being an AH. You’d already bought the ticket, nothing you could do.” – Tresmilks
“NTA – the 3 year old is unlikely to remember which boring adults were at her birthday party, if she remembers anything at all. she’ll be much more focused on whatever it is 3 year olds like these days (I’ve heard paw patrol is in vogue, or maybe there’s a new Disney Princess?)”
“Also its pretty clear that Tamara doesn’t like you, so I’m not sure why it’s a big deal to her that you be at her daughters birthday.” – Brilliant_Victory_77
“NTA. A 3 year old hardly cares who comes to their birthday. You made plans and bought tickets.”
“I wouldn’t say a child is less important, but the party is.” – onedayatatime08
“NTA. You’re not close, you’re not friends, you’re barely acquaintances. The child isn’t losing out on your not being there, and everyone is saying she’s the one that overreacted. Enjoy your concert.” – PeteyPorkchops
“NTA. Not your kid, it’s not even a nephew or niece. Why would you want to be there in the first place. Its a friends kids birthday. What you suppose to apologize for?”
“Sorry you taking offence that I don’t want to go to your child’s birthday” – MersWhaawhaa
“You know she’s overreacting. The two people whose opinions you might (?) care about, your hubby and her hubby, say she’s overreacting. She’s trying to start a fight.”
“You don’t owe her an apology, so view her refusing to talk to you and blocking you on SM as a fleeting gift… we both know she’ll be back once she realizes you’re not interesting in engaging.”
“She’s not worth a thought, and acting like that is guaranteed to make her even more mad. Honestly, I’d pretend not to notice that she blocked you- say that you never look at her posts anyways so you didn’t even notice!” – DutyValuable
“Nta. An already booked and planned trip is priority over a child’s birthday party.”
“My In laws have missed a few birthdays for my niece because of travel, it happens, it’s no biggie and they visit with her before or after their trip.” – Tiffm09
In an update, the OP wrote:
“This happened two days ago and she blocked me on social media a few hours after the incident. She still has my husband and just now she shared a IG pubilcation about Olivia Rodrigo being a copycat and whatnot. I’m laughing like A LOT. WTF?”
“I mean, she’s entitled to think Olivia is the devil but as far as I know she didn’t even know Olivia existed until I started sharing Olivia things on my profile (I’m a huge fangirl).”
“Olivia and english music are not that popular in my country within people our age. She’s not into that music and she doesn’t give a F about English pop music.”
Overall, many Redditors thought the OP should go to the concert because a three-year-old won’t hold a grudge.