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Parent Called Out For Getting Baby A ‘Medical Tattoo’ So He Isn’t Mixed Up With His Twin Brother

Jill Lehmann Photography/GettyImages

A child’s health is all that is important.

There are many ways to keep a child.

Even when there are extenuating circumstances.

And even when people don’t agree on how to make that health possible.

Case in point…

A Redditor wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for medically tattooing my child under the recommendation of a doctor?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Hear me out.”

“I (31 F[emale]) and my husband tried for 5 years to get pregnant.”

“Testing eventually revealed I have eggs of f**king steel and without medical help I’ll never get pregnant.”

“So that’s what we did.”

“Gave our samples, one petri dish and 9 months later I have 2 beautiful fraternal twin boys.”

“Jack and Adam (fake).”

“Thing is Jake has a condition.”

“Without going into detail, requires a shot once a week.”

“Once he is older he can take pills.”

“I went back to work and M[other] I[n] L[aw] offered to watch the babes (she’s wonderful, I trust her 100%. They were 9 months… now 16months).”

“During this time she would give his injection as we had a schedule.”

“10am before snack and nap.”

“Worked very well until a month ago when she gave the shot to the wrong kid.”

“Now they may be fraternal but they look identical.”

“I’ll be honest my husband and I even mix them up sometimes. Everyone does.”

“She immediately noticed her mistake called 911 and they were transferred to hospital.”

“By the time I got there Adam had been given the reversal agent and they were both happily sipping on juice loving the attention.”

“We went home the same night told to push fluids.”

“He was never in danger.”

“It’s a very slow acting medication that, at worst, would have given him diarrhea in a few days.”

“MIL was beside herself.”

“I tried to ease her worry but she refused to babysit, so to daycare they went.”

“This daycare has a nurse cause some of the kids have medications so she new what to do but the worry of mixing up the kids was a valid concern (and they would NOT keep name tags on).”

“Doctor recommended a medical tattoo.”

“Explained they tattoo a freckle, no bigger then the end of a pencil eraser, on an area of skin that’s easily seen while the child is under mild sedation similar to dental offices.”

“Because of the area it usually fades in 2-3yrs but by then they should have developed more personal features and may not need it redone.”

‘So after discussion with my husband we did it.”

“He has a 2mm brown freckle on his earlobe.”

‘From entering the office to leaving it took 30 minutes. Never felt a thing.”

“MIL lost her s**t the second I mentioned a medical tattoo.”

“I tried to explain but she just freaked out so I put both kids on the floor and told her to pick up Jack and find the tattoo.”

“She picked up Adam.”

“So I handed her Jack and after 20 minutes still couldn’t find it.”

“Stripped him to his skivvies.”

“I finally pointed it out and she went ‘That’s just a freckle.'”

“I just said… ‘My point exactly. Adam doesn’t have a freckle there.. So that’s how daycare can tell them apart.'”

“She’s still pissed and ranting.”

“Once I explain to others and they fail to find it they understand but they still think I went too far in tattooing my child and altering their body.”

“I believe I took the necessary precautions recommended by the doctor and the tattoo will fade with sun exposure and as he grows.”

“By the time he’s 5, it’ll probably won’t even be visible or it’ll just look like a faded freckle.”

“So… AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA at all, it’s literally a fake freckle.”

“It’s not like you gave him a full sleeve of pin up girls and muscle cars.”

“Also, it’s to make it harder to accidentally kill him or his brother.”

“You made the right call.” ~ REDDIT

“I think the real reason she’s so angry is because broadly speaking, tattooing a baby is viewed as a pretty extreme thing to do to solve a problem.”

“In this case though, the problem more than justifies it and having the tattoo done was definitely the right thing to do.”

“The issue is that the MIL sees it as something OP had to do because of her mistake.”

“It’s highlighting what she did and the overall potential seriousness of it, and showing that OP felt the need to go to ‘extreme lengths’ to prevent her from doing something like that again.”

“Like I said, OP has done nothing wrong, and the problem is 100% the MILs to deal with, but it’s worth considering that her outrage probably doesn’t just stem from a disapproval of the tattoo.”

“She actually feels almost attacked, like it represents the fact that OP and her husband feel like they can’t trust her around the child and don’t think of her as competent enough to deal with him having his condition.”

“She’s wrong, that’s not really what it is, and she’s acting kind of childish about it.”

“But if OP wants to deal with her they’d do well to go in understanding this is probably a factor.” ~ venetian_ftaires

“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“I was raised by a narcissist who believes she does no wrong and woe to they who call it out.”

“So I’m always surprised when people remind me that when normal people make mistakes.”

“They actually feel something like remorse or shame, and only if they perceive that they’re being unfairly punished for or reminded of a mistake they’re already flogging themselves over, they might act out in an irrational or inappropriate way.”

“So that makes total sense.” ~ lamante

“I think you’ve hit the nail on the head.”

“OP, maybe explain this to your MIL – when you accidentally injected the wrong baby, you realised and did the right thing to make sure they’re both safe.”

“In daycare, they don’t know the boys as well as you and I do.”

“They might not realise so they wouldn’t be able to do the right thing to keep them safe.”

“He needed the freckle to make sure they don’t make a mistake and hurt your grandsons.”

“NTA at all for getting it either.”

“It makes sense and definitely is worth it when you think about the risks.” ~ floss147

“I thought the same and it is kinda heartbreaking because it sounds like OP already has forgiven her.”

“It was MIL who put an end to the childcare arrangement because of her fear of repeating the mistake.”

“I’d go with NAH. MIL shouldn’t have flipped her sh*t but I can’t call her an a**hole for her feelings of guilt so soon after what was probably a terrifying experience for her, probably more so than the kids who wouldn’t understand the situation.”

“As far as she knew, she caused a medical emergency and now her grandchild had to undergo another ‘painful’ procedure to prevent it happening again.”

“She needs to be reminded that it wasn’t to prevent just her doing it again, its because the daycare can’t tell them apart either.”

“All she did was highlight a problem that would eventually have cropped up somewhere along the line anyway.” ~ EtainAingeal

“NTA. You took the recommendation from a medical professional and made the decision with your spouse for the safety of your child.”

“Absolutely nothing wrong with that, especially for something so small.” ~ Trouble-94

“Exactly. I have three tiny ‘freckles’ tattooed from getting radiation and they’re not a big deal (hurt like hell because they’re on my ribs), and I forget I even have them.”

“I’d argue that it wasn’t my choice either, in a way, as it was just sprung on me as a surprise at that appointment.”

“And unless I wanted my cancer to come back, I had to go along with it.”

“NTA.” ~ fishymcswims

“I am not a guy so I don’t physically know the difference but it is an unnecessarily permanently altering of their body and I don’t understand why so many do it.”

“OP is an a**hole for circumcising her boys without consent.”

“NTA for the fake freckle.” ~ atthebarricades

“NTA, obviously.”

“This is a good idea, and all that matters is that your pediatrician and husband agree with you.”

“You don’t really think you’re the asshole, do you?”

“Why would you be?”

“You followed medical advice with the full consent of your husband.”

“Someone being upset with you or not agreeing with your decision doesn’t make you an a**hole.” ~ ostentia

“First of all, NTA.”

“Secondly, WTF to other people’s reactions?”

“This isn’t cosmetic, like pierced ears on a baby, this is potentially life saving.”

“I know you said that it shouldn’t harm the other twin, but still…”

“You did the right thing, absolutely.”

“Kids, babies, toddlers, whatever, are a pain to make them do what you want them to do when you are there.”

“Out of sight, forget it!”

“They will do what they want to do, so there wasn’t anything else you could do realistically.”

“A simple conversation stopper if someone wants to rant at you about it: Not your child, not your call.”  ~ digamma10101

Well OP, Reddit is in your corner.

Telling twins apart is medically important.

You and MIL will hopefully come to terms.

Happy Health!