It can be difficult putting up with disrespect in public. As polite as you can try to be, there’s a breaking point when someone else doesn’t give you the same courtesy back.
Redditor Sensitive_Positive37 isn’t from the United States, and sometimes has an issue with people who see that as an issue. They’re very polite, but even then, there’s a limit to it.
So what happens when the original poster (OP) is insulted and pushed too far, they react in a way they’re now questioning? They go to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to find out if they acted like a jerk.
OP asks:
“AITA for getting someone fired when they made a mistake?”
Here’s what happened:
“I was at a grocery store, shopping for supplies some weeks ago (5-6). My cart included some alcohol, so I gave my drivers license as age proof.”
“Now for context – I speak with an accent from my home country (English isn’t even my first language actually). The cashier and I small-talked before the carding about the accent, and I mentioned I’m from another country.”
“So when I handed my ID her, she was surprised that it’s got a US state on it. And she said it was a fake. I said no it’s not, and she claimed that since I’m from another country, why would I have a US drivers license.”
“I thought she was just slightly confused, so said, ‘I’m not a citizen but I’ve lived in the US long enough, and that’s why I have the license’. Also I mentioned that my drivers license has a different state on it that where this interaction happened because I even lived there a few years.”
“And she’s still suspicious, and said it’s not a real license, and she can’t sell me the alcohol or anything else in the cart (I said that I could just buy my basics, and leave the alcohol) and needs to confiscate the license.”
“I was annoyed at this point, and said ‘listen it’s not a fake, if you want I can show you a picture of my passport to check my name and DOB and know this isn’t a fake ID. THEN will you give me back my ID, let me buy my stuff, and let me get the hell out of a public store during the pandemic?!’”
“At this point she loses her temper and says ‘Wow you’re really full of stories and excuses huh! This isn’t my first day on the job, I know a fake when I see one, you aren’t getting this back’ AND GRABBED A PAIR OF SCISSORS AND CUT THE CARD UP.”
“At this point I’m furious – my card wasn’t a fake, and I was happy to prove it, but now I’m stuck without a convenient ID document, need to go to the place (if it’s even open) and sit in a crowd during a pandemic to get a new one, and I need to start carrying my passport with my everywhere until it’s issued so I have an ID on me.”
“So I demanded the manager, created a big deal out of her behavior (I didn’t yell, but I was absolutely furious and made it clear how much of a problem, in terms of time, safety and money, she has created for me), and stormed off, and received a gift card for my trouble.”
“I didn’t see her the next few times I went in, but saw someone new. Some polite questioning revealed that she was fired even though it was her first offense, because the wasn’t pleased that instead of escalating to the manager, the cashier cut up ‘some customer’s ID’ willy-nilly (the new guy didn’t know I was the customer).”
“And now I’m torn. She was trying to just do her job, and I didn’t expect her to be fired. And during a pandemic where everyone is struggling, no less.”
“Of course, I feel like I was justified in making a big stink, but I’m sure an entitled person feels the same when they make a big stink about a store not honoring an expired coupon.”
“So tell me folks, AITA?!”
When people tell their story on the AITA board, they are judged for their actions with comments.
This is done with one of the following acronyms.
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
While OP might not have thought that the cashier deserved to get fired, the rest of the subReddit thought it sounded like an appropriate response.
They voted OP was NTA for unintentionally getting the cashier fired.
NTA. Some things are worth being fired over, even if it’s a first strike.”
“Harassing a customer and destroying their government issued ID in a fit of xenophobic rage is one of those things.” – gatitamonster
“NTA”
“This was absurd behavior for a perfectly reasonable explanation. Firing is completely justified. Hopefully the store pays for you to get a new license.”
“There’s no store that makes it a policy of CUTTING UP DRIVERS LICENSES and refusing the sale of all items in a cart instead of just the booze.” – ajd041
“No, no you’re not.”
“She didn’t just made a ‘honest mistake’ here.”
“Getting confused about the fact that you can have an American license without being American, is pretty stupid, but sure, she didn’t know.”
“However cutting it before properly checking if she was right? Hell no, you don’t do that. At the very least, she should have let you buy the other stuff and go check with her manager/co-workers about her confusion.”
“But no, she was so certain that ‘immigrants can’t have American license! You’re illegal!!’ and that ‘I don’t have to check up on it, I’m the American here and I can’t possibly be wrong!’”
“She deserved to get fired. Don’t feel guilty about this, at all.” – The_Incredible_Rook
It seems like a truly incredible story, one that might even be unlikely to have happened. But plenty of other commenters shared their own experience with people not believing an ID to be real.
Looks like it’s more common than one might have guessed.
“NTA funny story time. My dad goes by his middle name, always has. His license has said his middle name first name last name since the late 70’s when he got his license.”
“Now his birth certificate, SS card etc all say his name properly. So about 5 yrs ago he goes to renew his ID and the DMV lady goes what? This is Fraudulent!! And cut it up. So he either needs to change his name legally or get the SS office to change his name on his card….”
“So hes like I’m not doing this…goes back a few days later to someone else and gets his ID lmao” – Skinnysusan
“When I was in the US I showed my New Zealand drivers license as ID and they tried to find the license in a book that had all the US state licenses listed in it. I told the cashier 3x that she won’t be able to find the state in there because New Zealand is a country and then she called her supervisor for help and they look together in the book????”
“Like whaddup in that country man” – fiepps
It’s understandable that OP would feel guilty about getting someone fired. It’s the middle of a pandemic, and things are hard for a lot of people.
But the actions of the cashier needed to be addressed, especially since they caused excessive stress on OP and could even be argued to have been racist.