Redditor Refuses To Spend Over $600 To Get Partner's Birthday Gift Framed After Spending $1k On Painting

There's a reason collecting art is considered a luxury item. It's preservation can be quite expensive.

You can't just slap most artwork into a frame from the dollar store.

A gift giver turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after finding out his surprise gift included other costs.

Redbullvanisle asked:

"AITA for not paying to have my partner's birthday gift professionally framed?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"I gave my partner a painting for her birthday by one of her favorite artists. She already owns several pieces from this artist."

"She was very grateful for the gift when I gave it to her. Tears of joy. It was a very sweet moment."

"A while back, the artist was having a sale and my partner mentioned she was thinking about buying one, but decided not to when she realized the price was in U.S. dollars (USD) and not Canadian dollars (CAD), making it too expensive. I ended up buying the piece as a surprise for her birthday. It cost me about $1,400 CAD (~1,028 USD).

"Afterward, she told me that it would cost around $850 CAD (~624 USD) to get the piece professionally framed. Apparently, this specific artwork required a special frame and glass to properly preserve it, which is also what the artist recommends. The pieces also tend to appreciate in value, so proper framing matters."

"My partner is now upset because she feels that she's stuck paying for the framing, which she says isn't affordable for her. She believes that since I bought the artwork as a gift, I should have agreed to cover the framing as well, and that otherwise it's 'not really a gift' if she now has to spend $850 because of it."

"From my perspective, I already spent a significant amount on the gift itself, and I didn't realize framing would cost that much. I also didn't intend to give her a financial burden, I just wanted to surprise her with something meaningful."

"She has also expressed frustration that she had to bring this to my attention and that I didn't realize or come to the conclusion on my own."

"AITA for not paying for the framing?"

The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.

"I gave a gift and didn't consider the additional cost to my partner."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• INFO - more information needed

Redditors were divided in their judgment with no one being an a**hole (NAH) getting the most upvotes.

"This is a tough one!"

"I'm an artist and I collect art. And yes, framing is sometimes as expensive as the art itself! Especially when it needs a glass cover for certain oil based media that never fully dries."

"Each person is different though. I'd rather have a piece I really want, and safely store it away until I can afford to frame it. I actually have done this several times."

"I do also agree that a gift with conditions that requires more money to be spent is usually half a gift though..."

"So while I see why she is upset, I also feel like she is being very ungrateful, as art is unfortunately a luxury at this point in time in history. She is lucky that she has someone thoughtful who thought of her and spent that kind of money on her. $1400 is no joke."

"PLUS, I would add that the $800 sounds like the amount she was willing to spend before she found out it was in US and not Canadian...." ~ Lighthouse_on_Mars

"NAH.  Yes, you bought an incredibly generous gift. Yes, that gift is also a burden for her, because she cannot currently afford to give it proper care."

"Work TOGETHER to sort out something that happened from ignorance, not malice." ~ Foreign_Plan_5256

"NAH. You bought her a gift that requires her to spend a large amount of money. It was a generous intention, but you can surely appreciate the squeeze she's now in." ~ Frost_Quail_230

"NAH. You just learned your first lesson in art—you need high quality framing and museum quality glass. Its a fun hobby and needs to be protected."

"I think you went outside your depth in buying this and she understands what it means to preserve art. She didn't communicate fully the cost of owning art. Also, don't forget insurance!" ~ bluethermoflask

"NAH, I think you tried to give her a very thoughtful present, but she's understandably frustrated that she now has this big expense that, since she decided not to buy the painting, she didn't plan for."

"I'm not sure why so many people in the comments are acting like the fact that she considered buying the painting a while ago means that she's being unreasonable for saying she doesn't have the money to frame it right now."

"She could have been more gracious about the gift, but you could have put more thought into it, since presumably you've seen her other paintings and have some idea of how they're framed."

"Generally though, unless you're very well off or very certain that your plan is perfect, $1000+ gifts that come with related expenses probably shouldn't be surprises." ~ ezra1187

Others made the case that OP was not the a**hole, meaning his girlfriend was.

"NTA, you bought the painting with the understanding she was committed to buying it, but with the $ conversion she couldn't afford it. So she would have been paying to frame it anyway."

"What was her plan? She seemed to be giving a good hint about her budget so is she oblivious or manipulative?" ~ k_rock48

"NTA. Apologize that it wasn't what she wanted and offer to take it back and get her a different gift. You were being thoughtful and kind. I wouldn't spend another cent on such an ungrateful person." ~ FamilyFunMommy

"I've had quite a few things framed recently, and if you ask, framers can always suggest other options that would be less expensive—but those probably wouldn't look as good."

"When you spend $1400 for art that you absolutely love, you should get a frame that suits the artwork rather than trying to save a couple hundred bucks." ~ Runns_withScissors

"OP, you are a beacon of generosity and she doesn't deserve you. Find someone who appreciates you and the things you do for them instead of complaining and focusing on the negative. NTA." ~ ironiccinori

And some thought OP was the a**hole (YTA).

"YTA. You gave an obligation."

"Now, you aren't the a**hole for not knowing it, but you become the a**hole when you don't complete your gift."

"Now I'm sure you can do better than $850 for something that is UV protected and proper humidity, but you should take on the responsibility of finding the best price for a proper frame." ~ GWeb1920

"A gift that requires more work and money isn't really a gift, it's a burden. You knew it had to be framed before she could put it up, so you should have done that before giving it to her, it's like someone buying you a dinner, but saying you had to pay for the plate. YTA." ~ Key_Acanthaceae_2276

"Slight YTA. You did know she'd have to pay to have it framed, just not that it would cost so much." ~ tiffibean13

"I dunno, man. I kind of hate to say it, but I think it's a light YTA because it's only half a gift. She can't display the art without framing it, so what she has is just a financial burden."

"It's like you gave her a 60% off coupon, and while that is a great deal for any item, she still needs to make a big purchase for it to really have any value. Imagine if someone paid for 60% of a car. Or 60% of a wine of the month membership. Or 60% of the cost of some diamond jewelry. Even if it was 75% or 80%.... That's not really a gift most people want to be surprised with."

"Personally, I think that's a huge gift and so sweet of you. But as a surprise, a partial gift that requires spending more money is going to leave most people disappointed." ~ yallgotaproblem

There were solutions offered, though.

"She doesn't have to display it right away. She can store it and pick out the framing she wants/it needs. Then she can get it when she can afford it. Or he can gift her the framing as a surprise  for another occasion." ~ KCarriere

"I used to work in framing, I collect animation art and I frame my own needlework, so I'm pretty familiar with fine art framing and the eye-watering costs involved. I love art, I love giving art and I would never give a piece of art unframed."

"I also understand that not everyone knows how much framing a piece of art can cost, especially when conservation is involved. I recall so many 'This is going to cost me how much?' conversations when I was pricing out orders."

"That being said, I feel like OP should have done some due diligence and looked into how much it was going to cost to properly frame this piece before he bought it. Because yeah, he's basically given his GF half a gift and doesn't seem to have any intention of buying the other half. I've bought art things for my husband and given him just the art and then it's like, 'And now we're going to the framer to pick out the frame'."

"At the very least, keep an eye out for a big frame retailer like Michaels or whatever the Canadian equivalent is when they do a big coupon. Here in the US they do like a 75% off. My BFF got a giant stitching project done by them and she was satisfied with the work." ~ jenorama_CA

OP has plenty of feedback to choose from.

He can find a solution with his girlfriend (NAH), dump her and sell the painting (NTA), or take full responsibility for getting his gift framed (YTA).

That first one sounds like his best bet.