As the saying goes, accidents happen.
The only complication with that age old adage is that accidents also usually come with consequences.
Some minor, that will be easily rectified with the passage of time.
Other accidents cause pain or damage that isn’t often forgiven with a simple apology.
Redditor Necessary_Public5344 recently came home to discover a valuable possession of hers was broken.
Complicating matters further, the item was broken by her girlfriend, who balked at the OP’s request that she replace it.
Wondering if she was being unreasonable the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking my girlfriend to pay me back after she broke my gaming headset?”
The OP explained why she found herself at odds with her girlfriend:
“So I (25 F[emale]) have a gaming headset that I use pretty much daily.”
“It wasn’t super high-end, but it also wasn’t cheap.”
“I saved up for it and it cost around $120.”
“I use it for gaming, work calls, and just general stuff.”
“Last week, my girlfriend (23 F) was hanging out at my apartment.”
“She sat down on my desk chair without realizing the headset was on it, and when she sat, she basically crushed one of the earcups.”
“It snapped the plastic part and now it doesn’t sit right on my head, plus the mic doesn’t work anymore.”
“I wasn’t mad in the moment cos accidents happen but I did say something like, ‘Damn, that’s broken now’.”
“‘I’m gonna need to get a new one’.”
“She laughed it off and said, ‘Well you’ll get an upgrade!'”
“I kind of awkwardly asked if she’d be willing to split the cost or at least help replace it since it was her mistake.”
“She immediately got defensive and said, ‘Are you serious?'”
“‘It was an accident’.”
“‘I’m not paying for that’.”
“‘You’re being ridiculous’.”
“I said I didn’t think it was ridiculous, if I accidentally broke something of hers, I’d absolutely offer to replace it.”
“She rolled her eyes and told me I care too much about ‘stuff’.”
“Since then, she’s been distant, and one of our mutual friends even told me I should just let it go because ‘it’s not worth fighting over’.”
“But it’s not pocket change to me, and it just feels unfair.”
“So… AITA for asking her to help pay for the headset she broke, even though it was an accident?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, they generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for expecting her girlfriend to pay for her broken headset.
Everyone agreed that even if it was an accident, replacing the OP’s headset would have been the right, not to mention the mature, thing for the OP’s girlfriend to do:
“NTA.”
“If there is some huge backlash for a reasonable ask that is not a good sign for the relationship.”
“I’d be annoyed if a friend or loved one refused to help replace what they’d destroyed.”
“But for them to get upset at the ask would be even more annoying.”- wisebongsmith
“NTA.”
“She sat on your thing and broke it, she should have looked where she was sitting.”
“Sure it was an accident, but she doesn’t seem sorry that it happened at all.”
“Not to imply it was on purpose or anything, but if I broke someone’s headphones I’d at least offer to pay for part of it.”- elrieltinuviel
“NTA.”
“Even if it was an accident, I think she should absolutely help replace it.”
“ESPECIALLY since (I’m inferring here) it seems like you’re tight on money right now.”
“I’m with you in the sense that if I broke something that belonged to someone, even if accidental, I feel like it’s basic courtesy to offer to help replace it.”
“I’m also just not a huge fan of how she IMMEDIATELY called you ‘ridiculous’ for wanting her to replace it.”- Frumple-McA**
“NTA.”
“I don’t like how your gf 1) didn’t offer to replace it on her own, like a decent person, and 2) is actually trying to make you feel shit for asking for half.”
“She sucks.”
“Next.”- sallystruthers69
“NTA.”
“Okay yes OP you could’ve been more careful about your items.”
“But it doesn’t matter who’s at fault here, what matters is how both parties handled it afterwards.”
“You reasonably asked gf to help replace item, fine enough.”
“GF then called you ridiculous and acted dismissive after you asked a reasonable request, that’s not okay.”
“If gf didn’t have the money, she could’ve at least shown some sympathy by offering alternatives like treating you to dinner, help look for a good deal, or cover part of it on her next check.”
“An accident is one thing, but making your partner feel like crap just for asking a totally reasonable request is another.”- AgentLizard01
“NTA.”
“Just because something was an accident Doesnt mean the person who caused the accident isn’t responsible for what happens.”
“You were more than fair by asking her to split a replacement and not asking her to buy it all herself.”- steiff89
“NTA.”
“Tell your friend that told you to let it go that you will be more than happy to accept the money from them for your headphones.”
“Whether you left them in the chair or not is irrelevant.”
“She broke them.”
“She needs to make it right.”
“The fact that she was so defensive and dismissive should be a red flag.”
“It sucks, but what happens down the road when something like this happens again?”
“Like you said, they weren’t cheap.”
“I’m guessing Turtle Beach was important to you because of your everyday usage.”
“She owes you a new pair.”
“Full Stop.”- slap-a-frap
“NTA.”
“If you search this sub by top votes, then you’ll find a similar case where someone sat on a laptop that had been left on a couch and broke it.”
“It eventually went to court (!) where the judge said that (a) the owner was partially responsible for leaving a laptop on a sitting-upon place, but only partially and (b) the value of the laptop was the current value to buy exactly the same model, not whatever was the latest hotness.”
“However, that person was not in a relationship with the owner of the laptop.”
“(Puts on judge’s robe).”
“You are not owed new headphones and it’s partially your fault.”
“I’d say that your GF owes you 50% of whatever it would cost to buy exactly that model, used (on eBay or whatever).”
“Whether this is worth the stress it might add to the relationship is up to you.”- lurgi
“NTA.”
“She broke it.”
“Doesn’t matter if it was an accident.”
“The headphones are broken, and she should replace them.”- EfficiencyForsaken96
“The fact that her response is ‘you care too much about stuff’ when asked to replace something she broke and that YOU should let it go because ‘it’s not worth fighting for’ are both red flags of ‘I’m selfish and expect you do deal with it’.”
“You are NTA but she is not a keeper.”
“Seriously think about what she actually brings to the relationship and if it is worth the fact that she’s cheap and selfish.”
“Me personally, I would say ‘if it’s not worth fighting over, pay up, you cheap jerk’ and then we’d break up and I’d at least not have to be dealing with them anymore.”
“But that’s me, and I am also single.”
“This may be why.”
“Ha.”- The1Eileen
There were others, however, who felt the OP was partially at fault, if only because she shouldn’t have left her headset in such a vulnerable place, even if they still believed the OP’s girlfriend should have replaced it after breaking it:
“ESH, you shouldn’t put your headset there, and she should help pay for it.”- actualchristmastree
“ESH, she should probably contribute as your partner, however.”
“You left your headset on a seat.”
“If you leave it on a seat, it will be sat on.”
“Let this be a lesson – seats are not places for expensive things.”- Clean_Permit_3791
“ESH.”
“If I were in your position, it’s a complete accident.”
“I shouldn’t have left my headset on a seat for someone to sit on.”
“If it was me, I wouldn’t have asked her to pay for them. But that’s literally just who I am.”
“I don’t like people ‘owing’ me.”- aspenluv
“ESH.”
“She should offer to help pay.”
“You left something breakable on a chair where people sit.”
“You are old enough to know better.”
“Not everybody checks to see if someone left something fragile on their chair before they sit down.”- revdj
“ESH.”
“Don’t leave things that shouldn’t be sat on in places people sit.”
“50/50 is what I would say is fair.”- pottersquash
While a select few felt that since the OP left her headset in a place where it could easily be broken, she alone was responsible for replacing it:
“YTA.”
“The lesson here is don’t leave things you care about in a spot people might sit.”- paintingdusk13
“Headphones don’t belong on the chair, butts belong there.”
“Clearly an accident, YTA.”- Skeggy.
It’s clear that the OP’s girlfriend didn’t intentionally mean to break her headset.
And it’s fair enough to say that the OP should have been more careful with her belongings.
Even so, laughing off breaking an expensive piece of machinery, and then not even offering to cover the costs is hardly a compassionate thing to do.
The OP’s girlfriend should consider that partners can be just as easily replaced as headsets…