Everyone has their own, different comfort level when it comes to modesty.
While some remain covered at all times even in the relative privacy of a locker room, others have no trouble walking around their home wearing only their underwear, or less.
Even when company or visitors are present.
Such was the case for Redditor f4faa‘s girlfriend, only her logic behind justifying no apparent need to cover up in front of visitors left him feeling confused and concerned.
After his girlfriend and her friends accused him of overreacting, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole (AITA) asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend to cover up her body when strangers enter the home?”
The OP first gave readers a brief idea of his and his girlfriend’s very different upbringings.
“I am FULLY aware the title sounds sexist but hear me out, please.”
“My girlfriend (GF) comes from a wealthy background and grew up with maids, chefs, chauffeurs etc.”
“I was raised in a completely opposite environment and still adjusting to dating someone like her.”
He then filled fellow Redditors in on his girlfriend’s daily habit when they were in the (relative) privacy of their own homes.
“When we’re not with her parents, we spent a lot of time at one of her apartments.”
“Here’s the issue: my GF likes to walk around home barely wearing anything which is fine (awesome even).”
“BUT she does this even when the ‘help’ are around.”
“For example last month her family hired a new driver for her.”
“He stopped by the apartment to introduce himself.”
“She was only wearing underwear.”
“Keep in mind, this is the FIRST time they’ve met in person.”
“I felt awkward, he was visibly awkward and she didn’t give a sh*t at all.”
“She was casually chatting to him while a scrolling away on her phone.”
“She does this all the time.”
“She doesn’t think she needs to wear any decent amount of clothes at all when people that work for her are around.”
“She will casually walk around wearing just a thong OR a tiny crop top (just a crop top, nothing else).”
“She even does this with complete strangers!”
“One time she opened the door for the delivery guy wearing only a see through gown.”
“You could see everything.”
“Afterwards I talked to her about it and she was utterly confused as to why I felt uncomfortable.”
“Then she laughed and told me to ‘stop being a jealous baby’.
“She even said that I’m unreasonable.”
The OP made another attempt to express to his girlfriend how uncomfortable doing this made him feel, and found himself very surprised by her justifications.
“We had another discussion about this yesterday and I told her that she probably wouldn’t feel comfortable if I did the same.”
“She said that she doesn’t understand why I care what her staff think and that it never even crossed her mind that this is inappropriate.”
“She told me that she only does this in the comfort of her home and not in front of ‘actual people’, i.e. people that don’t work for her.”
“She got kinda mad at me and vented to her friends.”
“According to all of them, I’m ‘weird’ for having a problem with this and an a**hole for telling my GF to cover up.”
“Somehow I’m the villain of this story.”
“Am I really the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP landed in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
There was an almost unanimous agreement the OP was not the a**hole in this particular situation.
Most Redditors shared in the OP’s shock and horror his girlfriend felt she could justify not having to cover up owing to the fact her staff weren’t “real people”.
“She sounds classist AF.”
“If she believes being naked or semi nude in front of people is wrong (and it sounds like she does), then she doesn’t believe these people are actual people.”- readshannontierney
“The ‘help’ barely qualify as people, do they even have thoughts?!”
“Stereotypical rich people are the absolute worst.”
“NTA this isn’t really a control issue where you are trying to manage her body.”
” This is an issue where she doesn’t view the people working for her as actual sentient people with feelings and completely disregards how uncomfortable this might be for them.” – paxparra.
“First of all it seems that she doesn’t view the people that work for her in any capacity as actual people.”
“Which is a next level of WTF.”
“She also doesn’t seem to see that it’s grossly inappropriate to be practically naked in front of them.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about body positivity and I think her level of comfort she has with her own body is awesome but she should absolutely cover up a little more when there are people over.”-CrystalQueen3000
Many others felt the behavior of the OP’s girlfriend was an indication of a much larger problem and he needed to re-evaluate his relationship.
“NTA – but you should realize that your girlfriend does not view ‘the help’ as human beings so she sounds pretty entitled and terrible…”- ButteryBisquit
“Why are you with someone who thinks ‘the help’ aren’t real people?? “
“She sounds incredibly self-centered and inconsiderate to treat people who work for her like their feelings don’t matter at all.”
“Adding the NTA judgment here.”- yourlittlebirdie
“She clearly doesn’t see ‘the help’ (ugh) as actual people with thoughts, feelings etc, and therefore things it’s OK to do whatever the hell she pleases.”
“However, I feel that she is unlikely to change regardless of what you say to her, because this is all she’s ever known.”
“So it’s really up to you what you do, but what I see here is a fundamental difference of opinion.”- NarrativeScorpion
There were even a number of Redditors who pointed out her behavior could possibly be deemed as sexual harassment and possibly get her in legal trouble down the line.
“NTA – when she gets sued for sexual harassment, she’ll understand that she was wrong.”- Greedy-Text1251.
“Your girlfriend is TA both for the fact that she doesn’t view her employees as actual people, and for forcing them to view her almost naked when she holds a position of power over them.”
“It’s at best sexual harassment, at worst sexual assault.”- smo_smo_smo.
Indeed, it sounds like the OP’s girlfriend making him uncomfortable with her behavior could very well be the least of her problems if she keeps it up.