Quite hearteningly, those who appreciate art and hand-made crafts have become increasingly vocal about their desire to see artists in all their various mediums be fairly compensated.
But the artists themselves sometimes struggle with charging what they and their work are worth, admitted the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor lurkingrigatoni regularly received commission requests from a friend who they knew would be a difficult customer.
When the friend balked at their prices when they finally shared them, the Original Poster (OP) felt guilty for asking for so much.
They asked the sub:
"AITA for quoting my friend an exorbitant price?"
The OP enjoyed crocheting as a hobby.
"I crochet as a hobby. I started doing it about six or seven years ago to help cope with my anxiety."
"Over time I've become pretty good at it and have done a few commissions for small things. I recently opened my own website where I post my patterns and tips for free."
"Sometimes I'll sell something on there I made that I wouldn't keep or give away but in general, I don't actively sell my stuff."
A friend was very interested in commissioning work from the OP.
"I have a friend, 'Lynn,' who is always asking me to make her stuff."
"I've made her a scarf and hat set, and I gifted her a baby blanket for her rainbow baby, all of which have been free."
"She asks me to make my more complicated stuff for her like cardigans, large Amigurumi toys (I am not an Amigurumi person), and complex blankets, which I always say no to, because as much as I love Lynn, she is very demanding and I do this for fun."
"I enjoyed giving her gifts, but I don't like feeling obligated. It takes me a while to finish complex things and I know she wouldn't be ok with waiting for more than like a week."
The OP tried to deter Lynn's interests with high prices.
"Recently I posted pictures of a patchwork cardigan I made, and Lynn texted me, asking me to make one for her."
"I said no because it took me a month to finish, and I had other things I wanted to make."
"She asked if she paid for it, would I make it for her."
"I told her that based on the cost of materials and an hourly wage for skilled labor, it would cost $400."
"She said that was ridiculous and there was no way that cardigan would be worth $400."
"I told her I agree but that's why I usually don't take commissions and would rather give away stuff I make."
"She told me I was being greedy."
"Realistically if I took a commission for this cardigan, I'd charge like $75 (3x cost of materials) and give a two-month timeline, but I wanted to deter her from asking again."
"AITA for quoting her such a high price?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some didn't think the OP charged that high of a price at all.
"OP, you may think $400 is unreasonably expensive. But it is not."
"There is a reason why hand-made goods cost so much more than mass-produced machine-made goods. It's the labor cost. Don't sell yourself short."
"Carry on gifting as you like. But don't underprice if you actually accept a commission."
"NTA." - Emotional-Ebb8321
"NTA... I don't crochet but I am a career blacksmith (28 years in the trade self-taught starting a 9 years old) and I can tell you without any doubt at all that:"
"1. The vast majority of people have no concept of handmade work the time, investment, and dedication it takes to learn has value, and we live in a world of cheap mass production, not quality handmade skilled labor."
"2. You are too cheap. Don't ever feel bad for charging a fair value for your work. $400 for a handmade item that takes a month to make is quite literally too cheap, it should be double that."
"3. You are keeping an old skill alive, and a time will come when such a skill will nearly die out with just a few people left in the world doing it as has happened to so incredibly many skills."
"Be proud of what you have learned and never EVER feel bad about charging accordingly."
"I used to be like you, not seeing the value in my work, and to this day, I still deal with the 'Walmart crowd' with the mindset of, 'I can get it at Walmart for $20 so that's what you should charge!' Pity those people and send them on their merry way because if they don't value your work, they won't ever value YOU." - SnooPineapples6778
"I have a small fiber arts business and everything I make is completely handmade. I can only imagine how long the cardigan took to make and most people sell them for $400+, from what I've seen."
"I don't charge by the hour, but definitely more than $20 dollars for an item. People really don't understand how much time and effort go into making art." - screechingraspberry
"Handcrafted objects are very undervalued by those who cannot create them. I think a PIMA penalty should be added to the price for anyone trying to ask for a lower price."
"PIMA is for 'Pain in My A**.'" - Katmom_
"My mom is a 'full-time' potter now that she's retired from teaching elementary school art and constantly feels like she's overcharging for her wares."
"If anyone knows anything about hand-thrown pottery, they know that it can take months to complete a piece. Wedging, throwing, trimming, first firing, glazing, decorating, second firing, etc."
"Add to that you have to make enough items to fill the kiln to make it worth a firing."
"That's just the physical labor... don't forget the YEARS of practice/technical knowledge/space it takes to make a good pot and the cost of supplies."
"$45 for a fully decorated mug with a hand-built possum on the handle is a steal IMO (in my opinion)." - yramha
"I knit for my own sake of therapy, and as an heirloom, I am making my soon-to-be niece-in-law a full-size afghan, using a braided cable pattern. The materials alone cost me over $400 and I've spent since Thanksgiving working on it."
"If I put a price on it based on what I make per hour at work, the afghan would cost over $1600.00."
"OP should only do the things they want to do, when they want to, for whom they want to!"
"Even when I make scarves and hats to donate to the homeless shelters, it's because I want to, and know they will be appreciated."
"OP's 'friend' sounds like she wouldn't appreciate any of the time, labor, and love that goes into those projects." - Plastic-Ad-5171
Others agreed and said the OP should be fairly compensated.
"One of the best things I ever heard and learned was, 'You're not paying me for my hours or materials; you're paying me for the years I took developing these skills.'" - Adrock_4the_Win
"I have an ongoing argument with my farrier about this. He says, 'It only took me five minutes and I was on the yard anyway. No charge.'"
"But I say, 'It only took you five minutes because you've spent years developing your skills. Take some money.'"
"I've resorted to hiding money in his truck when he isn't looking." - Financial-Astronomer
"My favorite little quip I ever heard from a skilled craftsman was, 'It's not too expensive, you just can't afford it.'"
"This is the counter to the Walmart crowd. Yes, you can buy cardigans real cheap. Probably whatever you might make as a blacksmith, too."
"But an expertly handcrafted version of that thing holds way more value. Maybe it's a little brash, but so is telling you that your thing isn't worth your price." - Gamebugio
"I cross-stitch and crochet, and the group of people I will do either for at this point is vanishingly small."
"Niblings get a single blanket when I get to it and other than that, I make things for my wife and my best friend, and that's it."
"It took me too many years of making things for people to see how undervalued I was and the projects were. Setting that boundary with the crochet and cross-stitch actually helped me set a lot of other necessary boundaries with folks who have been happy to take and take and take." - _daikon
"There's a reason I won't do a cross-stitch project for someone. It's very tedious, time-consuming work. Plus the added eye strain."
"I have done a piece or two or a few for my best friend and my mother. I spent around three months on the last one. Swore I'd never do one of those as a present again. An hour a day for 12 weeks was no small commitment."
"I say here's a needle and floss, you try it. Never undervalue your work." - Ok_Seaworthiness7314
While the OP felt conflicted about giving their friend such a high price, as well as the friend's reaction to it, the subReddit did not agree.
Rather, they felt the OP needed to better value their own crafting skills, as well as their time.
Also, if working on a cardigan would take a month to complete, $400 doesn't seem like that much money at all.















Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.