Pets are always there for us.
If we’re going through something, dogs can be the perfect companion. And, they become our family.
It’s cruel to ask someone to choose between your family and your dog.
Redditor rejc7929 encountered this very issue with his mom. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for choosing my dog over my mom and her fiancé?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My dad died in a work accident when I was 15 and I’m now 17 (M). Last year my mom started going out with Anthony and they just got engaged. Anthony wanted to move in but the problem is he’s severely allergic to dogs.”
“My mom told me we had to get rid of Dax my dog. Like not even as a question just straight up said that’s what we’re gonna do.”
“I fought with my mom over this because he my family and he’s what’s helped me get through losing my dad.”
“Dax was my dad’s dog that he rescued from a shelter when he was still a puppy and we had him since I was 11. So he means a lot to me.”
“But my mom was like nope he has to go.”
“We fought so much about it I actually cried. Nobody wanted to adopt Dax tho and I had to beg my grandpa from my dad’s side to take him or else my mom was gonna take him to a shelter.”
OP’s grandpa was not a good solution.
“The problem was my gpa lives an hour away and he can’t do much physical stuff like take him out for walks, feed him, take him to vet, etc. And no one around to help him take care of a dog.”
“My grandpa suggested I could move here with him since all my classes are on zoom and I’m graduating in June anyways. I told my mom I wanna move in with my grandpa so I can be with Dax.”
“She got really mad about that and she says they (her and Anthony) are my family and I need to be with them. But I told her”
“1. Anthony’s not my family. I have my own problems with him cause he’s kept talking about being my new dad and I don’t like that shit but he doesn’t listen when I tell him to stop saying he’s my new dad cause he’s not.”
“And 2. Dax is my family and she made me get rid of him just like that. My grandpa’s my family too anyways.”
OP moved anyways.
“Last week I got my stuff and my uncle helped me move to my grandpa’s house. My moms still been mad. She’s not gonna force me to come back but she’s still saying I’m being a really sh*tty son that I’m choosing to be with my dog instead of with them.”
“But it hurt too much being without him. He was taken to my grandpa’s a week before I left and all that time I was up crying missing him. And I know he missed me too because he lost it when I got there.”
“My mom keeps telling me to come back and stop being cruel with her but I’m happy here with my dog. I get she’s got someone new to be happy with and that’s cool it’s her life. But why can’t I be happy too with my dog living with me?”
“Does it make me an a**hole that I basically did choose Dax over her?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“You are absolutely not a sh*tty son. What your mom is doing is horrible. She’s trying to force a new ‘family’ on you without your consent. Stay with your grandpa and keep the dog. Hope things look up for you in the future. I can tell Dax is a good boy. NTA” ~ _the_chosen_juan_
“It’s the forcing a ‘new dad’ on him that really gets to me. OP was 15 when he lost his father, and it’s only been 2 years! He is still grieving, and most likely will for the rest of his life. That is beyond crappy.”
“OP NTA. I’m sorry for your loss- go live your best life with Dax.” ~ AllTheT1
“My dad is a deadbeat. My own mum chose my stepfather over me and my siblings, and she still does. They’re both emotionally immature, so much in fact that I realized in my mid 20s that I was more grown up than them.”
“I eventually learnt to grieve the mother I deserved but never had. Like when people die, it still hurts sometimes…but it’s better than being constantly disappointed and hurt.”
“I feel so sorry for OP who now in a sense has lost both his parents.”
“And to him and all those out there with shitty parents, we deserved and deserve better. Safe hugs 💜💜💜” ~ Darktwistedlady
Redditors shared their own experiences.
“It does hurt!”
“My parents divorced when I was 16, and immediately my mom basically got engaged to a guy who wanted to be our ‘new dad’ and was a major control freak. Her response whenever we said anything negative about her new husband was ‘Don’t I deserve to be happy?’ He went as far as calling the police when we went anywhere he didn’t approve of, even after we turned 18.”
“My sister got out before I did and I basically had to run away with my girlfriend at the time to escape that situation, because he kept demanding all my money in ‘room and board’ and ‘car repairs’ or other bills or he was going to throw me out on the street.”
“I’m in my 30s now, and my mom to this day still clings to him and says none of that actually happened.”
“My actual dad (who’s not a deadbeat) made me realize we are more grown up than they are. My mom and her husband are so emotionally immature that I definitely felt like I left a sinking ship at the right time.”
“I’m sorry you and OP had to go through similar situations. Nobody should have to deal with a parent choosing a love interest over their own kids.” ~ danielton1
Dogs are family.