There is a way to share opinions without insulting those around you.
Especially when it comes to people’s bodies.
Redditor JumpsuitDrama encountered this very issue with her daughter. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for telling my daughter that I didn’t like an item of clothing?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My(40F) daughter(17F, Kai) wants to start dressing nice for school and ‘Looking put together even though I don’t know what I’m doing with my life,’ according to her.”
“We went shopping yesterday and it’s still going on.”
“We went to Goodwill and she found a jumpsuit that was her size that she liked and I’ll admit that it was cute.”
“Kai is not a small girl, she’s a size 16, and the jumpsuit she chose, even though it was her size was all elastic. She tried it on and it was not at all flattering on her and I told her the truth when she asked me what I thought.”
“She took a picture and asked her dad (my husband) and he said he liked it, as if it was proof that we should get it.”
“I told her no and that I didn’t want her to be teased or called names because she wore an elastic jumpsuit that wasn’t at all flattering for her figure.”
“AITA for telling the truth to Kai?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed everyone sucked in this situation.
“YTA. Who needs bullies when your own mom is right there to tell you you look fat! She liked it, she felt confident, why did you tear her down? A**hole” ~ Bean-Tester
“Sometimes clothes don’t look good on some figures. It’s not the same as calling her fat. My fiancee’s not fat, but she rarely wears women’s tops because they always look weird on her broad shoulders. If her mom didn’t tell her, then kids at school would be for 6 or 7 hours.”
“My mom used to do this all the time, but the first time she let me buy it anyways. She was right and I never distrusted her opinion again because that was the most miserable day I ever had at school.”
“There’s also the fact that sometimes you like something in the store, then go to actually wear it and find problems. At the end of the day, I honestly find it hard to believe that anyone other than a few models would actually look good in an all elastic. Elastic short shorts and booty shorts? Works on most. Anything more than that? Idk dude.” ~ policri249
“Except, you have no idea what the kids at school would say. If she’s not worried about being bullied in it, her mom shouldn’t be either. Also ‘elastic’ isn’t a material. There’s elastic fabrics like knit and spandex, but it’s completely normal for people of all sizes to wear stretchy clothes.” ~ Bean-Tester
“The mum was clearly looking out for her daughter’s best interests. If that means that she had to tell her daughter the truth about how she looked in that jumpsuit then she is one of the best mothers in the world.”
“The truth is always going to be the most offensive but I am a size 16 and I have always been bullied over my weight. And there are just some clothes that aren’t flattering to my figure especially jumpsuits. Trust me 10 minutes of an argument is way better than being bullied for weeks over it.” ~ deanwinchester2_0
OP did not express herself in the best way.
“Clothing isn’t made equally. There are jumpsuits that look bad on everyone. And, there’s a jumpsuit that she’ll look great in. I’ve been 240+ the majority of my life, and I found two banging jumpsuits. And I’ve also tried on a few that looked horrendous.”
“This wasn’t a good jumpsuit and that’s okay.” ~ Complete-Bullfrog-29
“EXACTLY! If it makes her happy and confident, and she’s making an effort to put herself out there and dress nice (which is HARD) what gives someone else the right to tell her she looks bad?!”
“I like to dress like the classic late 2000s scene kid. Big hair, fingerless gloves, band and cartoon tee shirts, lots and lots of silly hot topic jewelry. I look like 2009 threw up on me. My mom HATES it, vocally.”
“But it makes me happy, and I like how I look in it. I lost a lot of my childhood to trauma and abuse, so I’m doing it now, and it makes me happy, so fuck everyone else’s opinion on it. Perhaps giant glow-in-the-dark demonia boots and striped leggings aren’t flattering on me, but why should I care when I’m happy? Same goes for her!”
“Maybe it isn’t ‘flattering,’ but if she’s happy and confident leave her to it!” ~ zhenyuanlong
“My mom put a lot of insecurities on me – I would have liked to have found out for myself that looser clothes look and feel better, or that red isn’t my color. Her intentions were to protect me but it just made me feel fat and ugly. Let kids dress themselves and save objections for when it really matters.” ~ wrwck92
“Dude I wore plenty of horrible outfits in high school and no one I interacted with often cared. Not every student has the same experience with bullying. OP’s daughter probably knows better than her mother whether people will give her shit about her outfit or not.” ~ torncarapace
“Also ‘elastic’ isn’t a material. There’s elastic fabrics like knit and spandex, but it’s completely normal for people of all sizes to wear stretchy clothes.”
“Yes that description threw me!”
“Stretchy clothes are comfy AF too.” ~ Creative-Training175
“I think the bottom line is that she wanted to wear it and her mom told her she couldn’t because it doesn’t look good on her. It’d be one thing if her mom was trying to give her advice but she’s telling her ‘you look so bad in this I will not allow you to wear it.'”
“Nobody wants to hear that. Nobody deserves to hear that. If she thinks she looks good in it, her mom should be supportive and not controlling.” ~ rorank
OP’s daughter can pick her own clothes.