When it comes to our parents, few things are so effective at stirring drama as them not supporting our career choices.
A woman on Reddit found herself in this situation when her daughter was insulted by her criticism of her dog-centric career. So she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by lavandermartinel on the site, asked:
“AITA for telling my daughter she’ll never make a career out of working with dogs”
She explained:
“My daughter has always been extremely smart but one thing she’s always been determined about is she wants to work with dogs so I always pushed her to become a vet. She was coming round to the idea of it in high school when she came across some article about mental health problems in vets and she said nope no way.”
“Instead she done her exams at 16 and applied to do a course on animal care at the local college. During that she discovered a love for dog grooming which I told her she would never make good money from. Again she wouldn’t listen to me.”
“After her course finished she was almost 18 and applied to become a qualified dog groomer at another college. She done this and loved it, setting up her own salon a few years later with the help of her dad’s money. She quickly grew bored of being bored indoors all day though and decided to hire another groomer to keep the salon open in the afternoon while she became a dog walker in the afternoons.”
“Again as she’s so good with dogs business quicky took off and she ended up hiring a couple of dog walkers to work along side her.”
“Now it seems she’s bored again and she wants to become a dog behaviourist. Her dad’s said he wants to pay for the qualifications for her as a present. He’s so proud of what she’s done but personally I don’t think she’s achieved much.”
]”She doesn’t have a true career and changes her mind every 5 minutes. I told her she’ll never have a true career if she works with dogs as there’s no money in it.”
“She seems to think she can have some sort of big doggy empire where she offers lots of services because things are going so well for her at the moment and everyone recommends her locally. She’s no plan if it all falls flat on her face.”
“Needless to say my ex husband is furious at me for what I said and it’s making me wonder if I was an a**hole”
Redditors were then asked to evaluate who is in the wrong in this conflict based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And they were pretty much unanimously NOT on OP’s side.
“YTA People change careers all the time. She’s shown some strong business acumen. No reason she can’t succeed–as long as she’s not surrounded by nay-sayers.” —karskipellis
“She opened a salon that was so successful she’s employing other people.”
“She started a dog walking business that’s so successful, she’s employing other people.”
“She’s so good at what she does, she wants to branch out and get more education to become more successful.”
“OP, you sound like a jealous, bitter person.”
“YTA” —IChooseYouSnorlax
“YTA, there is no money in dogs? Did OP ever check how much people spend on their pets? It’s a billion Dollar Industry.” —SCKR
“she opened her own business and made enough money to hire other people? sounds like she’s doing financially okay. and why is everything about money to you? she had big dreams and is trying to do what she genuinely loves instead of just trying to make money. she’s not changing her mind about what she wants to do, she’s trying to move up in the dog business. if her dad is fine helping her, he should. she sounds passionate and smart. YTA” —SmileThis9582
“YTA”
“She’s made two successful careers out of working with dogs? If she is well like enough to hire employees for multiple different facets of her dog business how is that NOT success?”
“If she becomes a behaviorist she will have a success dog conglomerate, basically. You don’t seem particularly kind.” —neverathought
“Yes, YTA. Your daughter is currently a successful business owner, and instead of supporting her, you’re being a stick in the mud.”
“Any career can go wrong or get boring. Dedicating time and money to vet school is not a guarantee of an easy life. Other jobs will always be there.”
“Support your daughter in doing whatever she wants to do. She’s obviously very good at it.” —PlantB_tch
“YTA. Your daughter has opened 2 successful businesses and employs 3 people. How did you earn the enormous pile of money you must be standing on to look down on her like that?” —Ctdstryr1
“YTA. ‘She seems to think there is some sort of doggy empire’. Do you realize how condescending you sound?” —rosie2727
“…Clearly OP doesn’t understand the first thing about entrepreneurship. Sure, if a freak thing like covid hits your business can suffer or even fail, but YOU haven’t failed.”
“If she is properly taking care of her finances, is skilled at managing people, and has a profitable business plan then even if her business fails, she can start again…..”
“But businesses don’t just fail!!! (Outside of crap like covid) Things have to happen to MAKE them fail. Bad management is the top reason. OP doesn’t understand the first thing about business management if she thinks things “just happen” to small businesses.” —Speete
“YTA. Sounds like your daughter is doing well despite her mother’s toxic attitude. She is pursuing her vision and making money. What went wrong in your life, that you feel the need to take out your frustration on your daughter?” —curiousbelgian
“YTA. My sister went to an online program for dog behavior / training. She makes so much money working only part time. It’s her own business and she’s absolutely built a career out of it. It’s only been a couple years and she’s saved up enough for a downpayment on a nice house.”
“What your daughter has done so far is impressive and is a career, despite your beliefs. I have several friends with families who work and pet groomers or walkers. The pet market is one of the most growing markets right now and is super lucrative.”
“But even if none of this was true, you would still be TA for not supporting your daughter’s dreams and happiness and freedoms over your own preconceptions about money and prestige.” —-Quaint-
Hopefully OP can learn to be a bit more supportive of her daughter’s goals.