Redditor Current-Pool is a 24-year-old college freshman married to her 27-year-old husband with whom she has kids.
They both have diametrically opposed views about jobs that reached a boiling point.
After endless arguing, the Original Poster (OP) visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for getting a job behind my husband’s back?”
The OP wrote:
“My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We have a few kids. His parents own the house we live in and they have graciously let us not pay rent.”
“My parents are deadbeats that aren’t in the picture, his parents like me more than their son. That’s all for background for length’s sake.”
“The last year has been hard af for everyone, so my husband decides to turn down THREE $800+ a week jobs. Without talking to me.”
“I am a freshman in college, deciding that the only thing stopping me was me. I am doing it for my kids, tbh.”
“Anyways, my husband has worked a week this year.”
“Through many MANY arguments he decides to fill out an application at a gas station part time. I am livid because wtf?”
“We have blown through all our savings, a part time minimum wage job isnt going to keep us afloat.”
“So I decided that since he doesnt want to f’king work, I will.”
“This has opened up a pandora’s box of arguing. He is PISSED because I went to his dad asking if he could get me on a job that he has offered to my husband making a decent amount of money.”
“My FIL happily agreed, because HE has been the one paying our bills. He also threw out there to ‘do what I have to’ for my kids, indicating he thinks I should leave.”
“My husband thinks that me working and going to school will look bad on him. He also says that if he doesn’t work then his sense of purpose is gone because that’s what he contributes to the family.”
“Except HE F’KING DOESN’T and I am sick of being nice and told him so. I told him that I am getting the job, so now I’m a bitch who thinks I dont need him.”
“So AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors did not look upon the husband favorably.
“NTA. He ‘won’t let you’ work? Girl, I’d be out the door. F’k his nonsense.” – showtunie
“There are very few situations where a guy telling me he ‘won’t let me’ do something wouldn’t result in a call to the Whole Man Disposal Service.” – jamoche_2
“Been there – I rescued a puppy from euthanasia at my work and then told my boyfriend at the time… he wasn’t happy, but he understood why I did it.”
“He offered to pay for half of the bills to get the puppy fixed up, and we both intended for the situation to be a month-long fostering gig.”
“Well, $3,000 and a month later the puppy is healing nicely and my boyfriend hasn’t paid a cent or lifted a finger to help rehab him.”
“Boyfriend then demands that I get rid of the puppy because the foster-period was over. Unfortunately for him, I was pretty pissed about the money and I’m also stubborn to a fault, so I kicked out the boyfriend and kept the dog.”
“Almost 7 years later and not a single f’king regret. My dog is the sh*t and paid me back tenfold with his companionship.” – Kharmaticlism
“So your husband doesn’t want to get up off his lazy bum a**, stop mooching off his parents, and take care of his kids….yet….he also wants to ban you from doing so….because it would make him look and feel bad?”
“What the actual f’k is this type of mindset? It’s not YOU who are making him ‘look bad.’ He’s doing that himself.”
“Does he just expect his parents to let him live for free and pay for his whole a** family for the rest of his life? Your husband is delusional.”
“If he feels bad about not working he shouldn’t have turned down three jobs. What the hell? Go to work.”
“The whole world doesn’t revolve around his weird a** feelings. You have responsibilitys to care for and sh*t to do for your kids and his fee fees don’t matter in comparison to putting food in your children’s bellies.”
“Honestly he’s right. You don’t ‘need’ him. It sounds like you can’t rely on him at all and would do better without him holding you back and forcing your kids into intentional poverty because he just doesn’t feel like taking care of his family.” – dogchick1985
“NTA. It does look bad on him but that’s on him.”
“If he wants to not look bad he can get off his lazy af a** and get an actual job, maybe the job that you’re taking since it’s coming from his father, and let you actually get your degree!” – OboesHay
“NTA!! It’s worse than ‘can’t’ hold down a job, it’s ‘turned down THREE $800 jobs’ WITHOUT TELLING OP.”
“He DOESN’T WANT to work – he wants to mooch off of mommy and daddy and expects OP to do the same whilst raising the kids full-time.”
“That’s probably why he doesn’t want her working – because who’ll watch the kids while she’s attending school and working part time; him?!”
“BUT HE’S BUSYYYYYY! He’s fullfilling his PURPOSE as a full-time BUM!”
“At this point, OP would be better off as a single mom, part or full-time student and part-time worker than to stay with a moocher.”
“Verdict. In the words of musician Snow Tha Product, ‘…divorced a whole-a** man’.” – CanuckLurker86
Overall, Redditors sided with the OP and admonished the husband’s lack of motivation to help the family.
If he wants to not look or feel bad, it’s time to stop mooching off mom and dad.
