Redditor Throwaway46750 is a 20-year-old female nurse who was being hit on by a 57-year-old patient whom she described as an “unmedicated schizophrenic.”
When she discovered why the unstable patient was suddenly taking an interest in her, she became furious and confronted the source of the problem.
When the staff at the rehabilitation facility got involved and took sides, she began to question if she was overreacting to the situation.
She visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) and asked:
“AITA for not wanting my coworker to encourage a patient?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I (20f) am a nursing assistant at a rehabilitation facility. My job is to help with the lives of those who are staying at the facility getting treatment.”
“I help get them snacks, shower them, etc… Basically, if they need something, I’m the go-to person to try to get it for them, within reason, of course.”
“A couple of days ago, a trainee (30 Male) was on the floor I was helping to train, and I was teaching him the ropes.”
“Now there’s this patient who I was working with who was an unmedicated schizophrenic (57 Male). I am cautious around him because he can be quite dangerous if he gets into a mood.”
“Luckily he can’t walk, so his movement is limited. So I always bring someone with me when I am in there; I always am polite and curt, I get in, and I get out, simple as that.”
“Well, I was walking down the hall when the patient asked to speak with me, so I stood in the doorway.”
“The patient started asking my number, where I lived, if I would be willing to go on a date with him, etc… Of course, I told him, no, and I explained that I was not interested and I do not interact with patients outside of work hours.”
“However, he kept trying to pressure me to go out with him, and I kept refusing. Eventually, I had to cut the conversation off and leave because it was upsetting me too much.”
“When I was doing my routine paperwork close to the end of my shift, I was joking around with colleges about the day and I mentioned how creeped out I was by that patient, well it turns out my trainee had been actively encouraging him to flirt with me all day long.”
“Apparently when I would walk by the patient would comment on my body and the trainee would encourage him to shoot his shot and not take no as an answer.”
“I got pissed off at this, I told him that not only was it unprofessional for him to encourage this kind of behavior, but it could also potentially cause further issues dealing with the patient in the future.”
“I explained that this is a patient that has shown many signs of being unstable and could potentially become a bigger issue once he is well enough to start walking again.”
“He got upset at me saying that I should be taking the patient’s interest in me as a compliment. This turned into a whole office debate and now people are taking sides.”
“I’ve been told that I have a stick up my a** for being upset about this whole situation. I don’t know if I took this too seriously and reacted badly.”
“So Reddit, am I the a**hole?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA. He’s encouraging someone to sexually harass you.”
“Go to HR, your manager, corporate, something. Because that man–your coworker–shouldn’t be working with vulnerable people.” – shyfidelity
“YES. OP, please follow up and get this documented w/ HR. It’s beyond not okay. Trainee is being cruel to you and to the patient, for his own amusement. Somebody like that really shouldn’t be in a caretaker role.”
“And he could be putting you in actual danger, what kind of shitty people do you work with that they think this is okay! Yikes.”
“Most definitely NTA.”
“Edited to add- even if it never escalates into a ‘dangerous’ situation, it’s bad enough because it’s making you uncomfortable. It doesn’t need to be worse than it already is before it turns into something you shouldn’t have to put up with, that line has already been crossed.” – EmilyAnne1170
“He’s encouraging someone vulnerable, compromised, unstable, and potentially dangerous to sexually harass her.”
“That’s leaps and bounds worse than just, say, telling a random customer at a diner to proposition a waitress – which would already a male coworker TA.” – mbbaer
“NTA.”
“phrased another way.”
‘AITA for asking my co-worker not to actively encourage work-place harassment?’
“sounds like trainee is about to get a permanent note on their record from HR, along with an uncomfortable conversation.” – theCumCatcher
“I don’t know who would tell you you’ve got a stick up your a** about this.”
“I’ve had some time with unmedicated mentally ill folks, and this sort of thing is completely inappropriate behaviour for your trainee. You need to talk to your supervisors up the line.”
“If someone ten years your senior can’t show the maturity and professionalism that you’re showing, I don’t know that he’s in the right professional path.”
“NTA x 1000.” – bobledrew
“NTA why do so many men still think we should consider inappropriate and unwanted attention a compliment? If he doesn’t understand what is wrong with his behavior he needs to be reported to a supervisor.” – marla-M
“Absolutely NTA. This is an HR/union type reportable issue. Your colleagues are actively encouraging your harasser to escalate and are trying to forcefully cow you into a very dangerous situation.”
“‘Don’t take no for an answer’ combined with unstable individual screams ‘inevitable assault.'”
“Your supervisors need to be apprised of the situation and your coworkers need to face the consequences of their actions, and I would reccomend you no longer care for this particular patient if not 100% necessary.” – ijustneedtolurk
Overall, a majority of Redditors remained concerned for the OP and strongly advised her to report the trainee to HR for encouraging sexual harassment through manipulation.