Everyone isn't required to love every plate of food presented to them.
There are just some ingredients that don't sit well with every person.
However, how one reacts to certain meals can make dinner awkward.
There are ways to quietly excuse oneself or be honest about one's thoughts on a dish.
A scene isn't necessary.
Redditor Dapper_Web6218 found themselves in a personal dilemma regarding their wife and her reaction to a special dinner, so they turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
They asked:
"AITAH for kicking my wife out after she insulted our exchange student’s cooking?'"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"My wife and I are hosting a 17-year-old foreign exchange student for the school year."
"The experience with her has been great."
"She’s very respectful, helps around the house even when it isn’t expected of her, and has bonded with/been a role model for our kids (10 and 15)."
"My wife and I usually do the cooking, but recently, she asked if she could make some traditional food from her culture for us to try."
"She was excited to show us, and the kids were eager to learn about it."
"She spent hours in the kitchen and did everything from scratch; you could tell she put a lot of love into it."
"When we sat down at the table, my wife started acting weird right off the bat."
"She made faces before even trying it."
"Then she took a tiny bite, gagged, and said, 'Omg, I can’t eat this,' in front of the 4 of us."
"Our exchange student looked completely embarrassed and got up."
"I wasn’t sure whether I should chase after her, so I tried to smooth it over with the kids and told them to at least try it and be polite, since they seemed confused, like they wanted to copy their mom’s mannerisms."
"They did, and they actually liked most of it."
"Meanwhile, my wife kept making comments like 'the texture is so off' and 'I don't know how people eat this.'"
"Towards the end of this fit, she pushed her plate away and said she was gonna order something 'normal.'”
"At that point, I was agitated."
"I told her she was being completely out of line and disrespectful, especially in front of the kids and a guest who had just worked hard to give us something from their culture."
"She rolled her eyes and said she’s allowed not to like 'gross' food."
"That’s when I said if she didn’t like it, she could go out to buy her own food elsewhere and not ruin the night for the rest of us."
"She laughed at first because I’m typically never that stern with her (prob why I didn’t say anything earlier), but I was serious this time."
"I told her it would be a good idea to leave and cool off. "
"She grabbed her stuff and left to get takeout."
"When she left, things were still a bit awkward, but I assured our exchange student that we appreciated her cooking and that she did nothing wrong."
"Our kids thanked her too and said they liked it, which helped put a smile back on her face again."
"My wife came back hours later and is now mad at me."
"She said I took a small reaction and escalated it by kicking her out of the house and undermining her in front of a kid and teenagers."
"I think she made a fool of herself by acting like that in the first place. "
"Obviously, she doesn’t have to love every food, but basic manners should be a given, especially when someone is putting something important to them out there."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITAH?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"NTA, but are you sure your wife wasn’t jealous, maybe?"
"Sounds weird, but it happens."
"Because why would she react that way?"
"Unless your wife reacts like that with other things?"
"I don't know, but she’s in the wrong for reacting that way." ~ No-Dimension-3775
"My mum is like this."
"Last time I stayed with my dad when we went back to visit, she threw food I had made on the lawn because it had flavor (cumin and coriander) and she said she didn’t like Indian food."
"Nothing about it was Indian - it was bloody cous cous with veggies and herbs and mild spices, but ok, mother."
"What she was actually mad about was that my dad was eating it like a starving person who had just been given rations."
"He loved it and ate thirds."
"I also made him fish chowder the next night, which again she couldn’t complain about because there was no spice, but it sat like she had ingested lemon."
"Dad ate two servings, and then at about 1 am, I woke up to the smell of him reheating the rest."
"She was pissed because she’s a massive narcissist." ~ hebejebez
"Your wife is a narcissist."
"Yikes. NTA." ~ _A-Q
"My first thought was immediately that she is jealous."
"My dad was always the one to cook in our home, and he would always make us say 'dad’s the best chef in the world, ' and other gross, egotistical bowing down to him things."
"So, anyway, cooking is pretty universal, and now that all his kids (his kids) cook (probably better than him now), he refuses to eat anything we make and will always have one stupid thing to criticize about anything made not by him."
"I have come to believe that he is secretly jealous, and it angers him that other people can do something that he thought was his talent alone."
"It seems like that’s what this woman may be doing." ~ humid_pajamas
"You're allowed to not like food, but you're not allowed to put down someone who worked their a** off to make something that you alone didn't like, and pass it for disgusting food."
"NTAH, tough situation, but she has to realise she also needs to be a role model to the kid you're hosting, and that's not it." ~ N4meless24-
"This sh*t sounds fire."
"You're definitely not the AH, and your wife most certainly is the AH."
"It isn't hard to simply say you dont like something without making a scene and obviously hurting someone's feelings the way she did."
"Honestly, really f**ked up of her."
"She could have easily just said she appreciates the effort, but it's not her taste."
"But her reaction is that of a pure AH."
"If anyone acted like that toward her cooking, I'm sure she would feel horrible." ~ CatBu**HoleYo
"From the behavior you described, I thought the girl made something like an ape brain on ice or something really odd."
"But Rouladen is just long-cooked meat with a wonderful sauce, if done right."
"And Spätzle are more or less noodles, not my personal favorite, but nothing even near disgusting."
"So your wife is a really bad person and probably jealous."
"Is the girl good-looking?"
"Then I would be even more careful what to say about her in front of your wife."
"Who knows what else comes into her mind?"
"NTA. By the way, does she come from Schwaben? Somewhere near Stuttgart or Heidelberg? "
"I send her greetings from Germany." ~ Turbulent-Lab-4980
"Self-made Rouladen and Käsespätzle are really time-consuming to make."
"And especially Rouladen are hard to roll. I always struggle with this."
"And I did this since I was a kid, like 25 years ago."
"I only make Rouladen for Christmas despite being one of my favorite dishes because it is hard and time-consuming to make."
"Your wife is really an a**hole, and you are NTA for kicking her out."
"Poor girl made a not easy dish, and as a thanks, your wife plays the role of a toddler." ~ Pientia
"Your wife is wildly insecure."
"She is not happy when anyone else shines, so she feels she must put them down. NTA."
"If there have been other instances, you might consider therapy going forward." ~ gatesays
"NTA. You didn’t 'kick her out.'"
"You strongly suggested that she go out for a while to get takeout."
"You know. 'Normal' food."
"Your wife sucks."
"Making a huge show out of hating a teenager's gift of cooking a meal from her culture for you guys?"
"Your wife doesn’t have to f**king like it."
"Everyone has preferences."
"But taking a tiny bite of it and gagging and making rude comments?"
"That’s pretty heinous."
"What an insult to that poor girl and her culture." ~ Briiiiiiyonce
"NTA. Is the exchange student pretty?"
"Or does your wife not even need that much to be jealous of, and hate that someone besides her is the center of attention for 5 minutes?"
"She sounds like a massive a**hole, and she needs to apologize." ~ A_little_more_left
"Your wife is the AH here."
"Not only was she rude, but she also taught her children to be rude."
"Shes insecure, over a freakin' teenager."
"Let that sink in."
"She doesn't really have a leg to stand on here."
"I can't possibly think of anything she would be able to say where she doesn't end up looking like an AH."
"NTA - but your wife, huge, major one!" ~ MyFriendsCallMeEpic
"NTA, your wife was being a bully."
"The fact that she did it in front of your kids, to bully another kid, is honestly kind of disgusting." ~ Foreign-Onion-3112
"Hmmm, maybe OP's wife shouldn't be a host mum going forward if this is how she is going to react to anyone she considers as 'taking the spotlight.'" ~ Hyacinth_Bouque
Reddit understands why you did what you did, OP.
Your wife was out of line.
She could've been polite about how she felt.
Hopefully, this can all blow over without any hurt feelings.
Good Luck.
