They say opposites attract. But to what extent is that actually true, and what keeps people in relationships together if they have contrasting interests?
Redditor matrixaita is a 19-year-old woman and a self-proclaimed nerd, whereas her 21-year-old boyfriend is not.
She questioned her maturity level after she unknowingly upset her boyfriend while they were out in public.
The Original Poster (OP) visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for calling something a ‘glitch in the matrix’?”
The OP explained:
“I am a nerd. My boyfriend is not. My favorite series is probably the Matrix Film Trilogy.”
“So the other day we were walking in the park and talking and then suddenly I saw something super cool, it was a flower that looked like it kinda mutated into a cactus, it was pretty awesome and I wish I took a picture.”
“I looked to my boyfriend and said ‘Yo, it’s probably just a glitch in the matrix.’ He looked at me and went ahead to go to his place.”
“He called me later and said that I’m So embarrassing to be around in public’ and that I should ‘Stop acting like a child.’ I didn’t know I was embarrassing before and I seriously wish he’d told me.”
“AITA for being childish and embarrassing?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors said the OP was NTA and her boyfriend was TA (the a**hole).
“NTA. What was he embarrassed about? The zero amount of people around you to hear it?”
“He sounds like a douche and the AH.” – Kujie-coo
“Exactly, people always say ‘Oh people are thinking about us, they think we’re stupid’ but they really don’t.”
“Those ‘people’ are just normal people like you and me, they don’t give a damn about a couple walking in a park making jokes and references.” – DrShrimpPuertoRcio
“I grew up in a small town and I developed this theory that that kind of behaviour is completely related to the size of the city you live in.”
“I’ve always found people in small towns are wayyyyy more concerned about what people are doing around them and concerned that people are watching them. Which is probably true. Small-towns are judgmental rumour mills where everyone knows each other.”
“Then you visit a place like New York or Mexico City. No one gives a f’k. There’s way too many people. I don’t care what some guy is doing who I will never see again in my life, and likewise.” – Theshutupguy
“You’re not wrong, but even in a small town, how can someone be embarrassed by someone saying what OP said??”
“The answer? He isn’t embarrassed. He just doesn’t like the fact that she said it and wants her to change for him. Guy is a LOSER.” – j0lly007
“NTA – Jeez, I’ve said the same thing and I’m almost 50. It’s actually a pretty common saying.”
“Your bf sounds like an AH. You should be with someone who actually likes you.” – idrow1
“This. So many people get mistaken about whether someone actually likes them or not. Here’s the thing, if someone doesn’t like (edit: doesn’t approve of or puts you down for) your hobbies, the way you speak, the references and jokes you make… They don’t like you.”
“They just like some idea of you that they have made in their mind. That’s why when you break that image by doing something like making a reference or a joke they tell you to stop.”
“NTA but that boyfriend just isn’t compatible with OP.” – kirabera
“NTA. Honestly? That’s not even that nerdy to say. I know loads of people that make that reference (I’m gonna exclude myself here because I know I’m nerdy) because it’s a very popular franchise!!”
“You can do much better than that. If you can’t be yourself around someone then what is the point? That’s not love.” – Mikaiine
“Listen to this OP. If you can’t be yourself it’s not worth it. When I was with my ex it was like this. I couldn’t be myself. I’m a nerd but I always felt bad for it because of her.”
“I am so happy that I met my wife. I can be as nerdy as I want and silly as I want and even if she isn’t into the same things she never makes me feel bad for being me. You can find someone better OP.” – lookingforfreedom90
When a commenter said using the phrase was not nerdy at all and that people use it all the time, the OP replied:
“I was just saying he hasn’t watched the movies, I was also trying to say hey I’m a nerd I make dumb references to things a lot.”
Overall, Redditors agreed the OP and her boyfriend were not compatible and they encouraged the OP she can find someone who would respect her and her interests.