Breakups aren't easy, especially when the split is a result of unfaithfulness. Emotions are difficult to handle during that time, and the daunting task of distributing rightful belongings lingers.
And tempers can flare when the newly-separated parties don't agree over ownership of particular items.
A guy on Reddit sold Taylor Swift tickets he bought for his girlfriend after he found out she was cheating on him, so he turned to the "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor AvocadoEfficient896 asked:
"AITAH For selling my Taylor Swift tickets after my GF cheated?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"A few months back, I (27/M[ale]) won some money and decided to surprise my girlfriend (25/F[emale]) with Taylor Swift tickets for her Vancouver show."
"She's been a massive Swiftie since forever and I knew this would mean the world to her."
"I spent around $800 for two really good seats."
"Last week, I discovered she'd been secretly meeting up with her 'work friend' for months."
"I found out because she accidentally left her Instagram DMs open on my laptop (she'd been using it to print something), and I saw weeks of flirty messages and plans to meet up."
"When I confronted her, she tried to deny it at first but eventually admitted they'd kissed several times and had been having an emotional affair."
"I was devastated."
"These tickets were meant to be a special experience for us, and I couldn't stomach the thought of taking her after this betrayal."
"Rather than let them go to waste, I decided to sell them."
"Given how insane the Taylor Swift ticket market is right now, I managed to sell them for $2,400 - triple what I paid."
"When she found out I sold the tickets, she completely lost it."
"She's been blowing up my phone, calling me petty and cruel, saying I 'ruined her dream' and that the tickets were a 'gift' so they belonged to her."
"Her friends are also messaging me, saying I'm an awful person for using the tickets to hurt her."
"I feel like I had every right to sell tickets I bought with my own money, especially after what she did."
"But she's making me feel like I took things too far."
"AITAH?"
Redditors weighed in and decided OP was not the a**hole (NTA) in this situation.
"NTA LMFAOOO "RUINED HER DREAM"😭😭😭" - Good_Narwhal_420
"NTA. It wasn't an emotional affair if they were kissing."
"It was an actual affair."
"If you still took her to a concert after she had an affair with someone else, THAT would be weird."
"You should move on and let her have her new relationship out in the open and let THAT person buy her Swift tickets" - spookyclever
"NTA"
"She f**ked around and found out."
"Note: You cannot be surprised that her airhead friends took her side."
"I would bet they knew all about her cheating all along."
"Advice: I assume you dumped her a**."
"Block her and all of her airhead friends." - BlueGreen_1956
"NTA."
"The tickets were a gift meant for a special experience together, and her betrayal completely changed that."
"You had every right to sell them since you paid for them and she broke your trust."
"It's understandable that she's upset, but her actions led to this situation. "
"You're not obligated to let her keep the tickets after what she did."
"Don't let her or her friends guilt-trip you into thinking otherwise." - Ture20301
"NTA"
"She FAFO for being a cheater."
"These are the consequences."
"Ruined her dreams? Womp womp."
"She hurt you real bad and all she can think about is herself."
"Block her and her friends and be rid of her."
"Edit to add: Send her the lyrics of Bad Blood by Taylor Swift. Looool" - Happy-Albatross3376
"NTA. Taylor would be even proud 👏🏼" - Outrageous_Ad7222
"This might be the best possible revenge on a swiftie."
"10/10 no notes NTA" - msnare93
"Cheaters are awful people"
"You're Ex and her friends are awful people."
"You dont get rewarded for bad behavior."
"NTA" - Character-Tell4893
"It sounds like you didn't want to go with her because of what happened, and that's why you sold the tickets."
"You weren't selling them to 'punish' her, but because you need some space from her. Right?"
"If so, NTA." - SparkyandDolche
"Honestly, making a profit off of her infidelity is the most baller move I've ever heard of."
"NTA." - Potential-Note-6464
"NTA."
"You were generous to buy your girlfriend tickets to see her favorite artist, but she betrayed your trust and hurt you deeply."
"You have every right to do whatever you want with your own property, including selling the tickets."
"Her reaction is disproportionate and manipulative."
"She's trying to shift the blame onto you and make you feel guilty for her own actions."
"Don't let her gaslight you."
"You did the right thing" - SadlyNervous
"NTA"
"Oh No! You sold her pricey gift that was for the two of you!"
"How could you?"
"Now she's gonna cry to her 'work friend.'" - SockMaster9273
"Why are you still calling her 'your GF.'"
"Shouldn't it be ex-GF?"
"Either you forgave her for her cheating, and she is still your GF, or you broke up with her, and she's your ex."
"If she's still supposedly your GF then yeah, you're being inconsistent and punishing her in a way that's not becoming of a BF / are the AH."
"But if you're broken up then just block and move on / NTA." - NarcolepticMD_3
"I think Taylor Swift would say NTA." - naughty-goose
"Vanguard anticipates returns between 3-5% over the next 10 years in the stock market."
"You just made 300% and are about to embark on happier times than you could ever imagine with the right person."
"NTA. Godspeed."
"Toss that extra $$$ in BTC🚀" - Happy_Contract8208
"NTA."
"Honestly, did she really expect to still go to the concert after all this happened?"
"She might live in some delusional world where there's no consequences for her actions." - Hamzeeki
"For the love of god, when does emotional and or rational thinking begin nowadays?"
"She cheated, you sold the tickets and are broken up."
"At what part are you the AH?"
"NTA keep it moving" - noletex107
"She cheated, she doesn't get to be mad at anything you do anymore."
"I notice you didn't call her your ex, I hope that has changed now."
"She belongs to the streets."
"NTA" - Spiersy_
"NTA."
"Those tickets weren't a gift; they were plans for a shared experience one that got canceled because she couldn't keep her plans to herself (if you know what I mean)."
"Also, let's not forget: she 'ruined her dream' by prioritizing sneaky DMs over your relationship."
"Turning $800 heartbreak into $2,400 therapy funds sounds like the most Taylor Swift-level poetic justice I've ever heard." - glitteringpeachdream
"Why do you care what a cheater or her friends think?"
"I'm gathering her friends didn't give HER crap for cheating on you, right?"
"NTA Op, personally i'd laugh in their faces anytime one of her friends try to give you crap for this but i'm petty."
"Keep your head up man and maybe use that money for a nice vacation." - HUNGWHITEBOI25
"Well, if the engagement is off you give back the ring, right?"
"F**k them."
"NTA" - rbartlejr
"NTA at all."
"She's just upset because she thought that you'd be a pushover and take her to the show anyway."
"Ask her and her friends what they'd do if they bought $400 tickets for a guy who cheated on them and were expected to take him anyway."
"Have a strong feeling they'd handle it the way you handled it."
"Your hopefully soon-to-be-ex made bad decisions that affected her life, and now she knows that karma sometimes bites back instantly."
"Move on from her and her friends because they seem to live in a world where their actions don't have consequences and I guarantee you your GF will cheat on you after this, if she hasn't already, because the resentment from you selling those tickets will just grow and she'll blame that for her developing infidelity."
"Cut your losses now." - ejatx
"You should've not told her you sold the tickets and gave her fake ones to f**k with her even more, you were far nicer than you could've been about it."
"NTA." - ashleytheestallionn
"F' her and her friends."
"She deserves nothing. NTA"
"She can swiftly get her a** out of your life lol"
"Are you still with her?"
"Can her a**, plenty of fish out there." - DDDurty
"NTA"
"Block, lather rinse repeat."
"Her new guy can buy her stuff." - Western-Cupcake-6651
"NTA."
"You bought the tickets."
"You're free to sell the tickets." - 4000-young
"NTA, tell her to have her affair partner buy her some, they can live her dream together since he was clearly important enough to her to ruin her relationship with you." - buckem420
"You are definitely NTA."
"If I were you, I'd plan an amazing vacation with some of that cash and bank the rest."
"Block anyone who has the audacity to tell you that you owe your ex-girlfriend anything after she cheated on you." - StillOrbiting
"NTA. FAFO."
"Block her, and anyone else who gives your grief." - Heathen_Crew
Hopefully, OP feels better about his decision after reading the comments.
Maybe he can take their advice and enjoy a nice little trip with his profit.
Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.