It’s so important to feel supported by those we love. When they disappoint us, it’s hard to know what to do next.
But one mom on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit had to make a tough decision after her son hurt her chances of finding work.
Redditor Aita333645___ eventually decided to kick her son out of the house after he refused to see her perspective.
But since the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she went too far:
“AITA for kicking my son out of the house after he canceled my job interview?”
The OP worked hard to give her son a good life.
“Please hear me out first. I’m a single mom (45) of a 20-year-old son (Chris). Chris is in college. He studies engineering.”
“Being a single mom at a young age was not easy for me, despite everything I been through, despite my own family giving up on me, I made sure my son got the life he deserves. He was/is my everything.”
“I worked several jobs that were different from each other. I was able to own a home after years of renting. And more importantly, I was able to provide Chris with an opportunity for education.”
Her son made several suggestions after moving back in.
“Recently. Chris moved back in with me because he no longer could pay rent.”
“His next semester is starting soon. And he’s been talking to me about the possibility of selling my house and buying a house in the city where he studies so he will no longer pay rent and said that it was better to move.”
The OP didn’t like the idea.
“I declined for several reasons. 1. I grew up here, and my old friends live here. 2 the city is expensive. 3 This home means a lot, it represents my hard work and sacrifices.”
“Chris didn’t like that. He threw a fit and kept bringing it up, trying to convince me to do it.”
“Last week he kept pressuring me. I told him that I found a potential job at a company and it was an opportunity because I had been looking for 3 months. He took it as in I don’t want to move because of my new job. But it’s not true.”
The OP discovered how much her son disapproved of the job offer.
“Yesterday. I found out that he contacted the company and canceled my interview and then deleted my email. I use a computer and it’s in the office so he gets access to it. He told me he wanted to check his college website for some reason and I thought nothing of it.”
“That was the night before. I found out yesterday morning that someone canceled my interview.”
“I confronted Chris about it. First, he denied it, and then he said that the company wasn’t what I deserved anyway and I can find a better position when we move to the city.”
The OP was furious.
“I was so mad at him for ruining this for me and pressuring me to move, leaving me no choice. I felt as if he was trying to sell the house from under me after he said he found a potential buyer and just wanted to make things go smoothly and all I have to say is yes.”
“I yelled at him and argued with him, telling him that he was an adult and should manage his own issues. Told him to get a job but not expect me to turn my life upside down for him.”
“He yelled back saying I was selfish and I ended up kicking him out of the house. His aunt knew and was yelling at me for what I did, saying I was treating him poorly and he was hurt by me.”
“Just to clarify, his aunt is my sister. She doesn’t have children of her own. And Chris considers her as a second mother to him. She’s always defending him no matter the reason.”
“He hasn’t left town yet and she wants me to call him.”
“I need to mention that this is not how he is normally. I have no idea what’s going on, but he was constantly talking about it and was insisting so much, it got me upset and worried honestly.”
Fellow Redditors wrote in anonymously, rating the OP’s reaction on the following scale:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the son was being totally selfish.
“Nah he’s a grown-a** adult still mooching off his mum, he can pay rent or find somewhere else to live instead of pressuring his mum into selling HER OWN HOUSE just to satisfy his selfish wants.”
“The rule in most families is once you hit 18, either pay rent and put money towards the bills or GTFO and find your own place. Why should this be different?” – sprklebutt69
“Or he wants a portable mama kit. She cooks his food, she does his laundry, she mops his floors … doesn’t that make her happy? It’s not like she’s a person with hopes and dreams about picking up the life she put on hold to wipe his butt for 20 years.”
“I mean, she literally TOLD him:”
“That the house was emotionally important to her. Didn’t matter.”
“That this was a job she really wanted and had been trying to get. Didn’t matter.”
“That she’d be lonely in the city without her friends and family. Did. Not. Matter.”
“Because the only thing – the only thing – she is supposed to do is sit there and wait until he needs her. Quietly. Oh, yeah — and pay his m-f-ing rent, in a city she’s already told him she can’t afford.”
“u/Aita333645___, drag his butt in here and let us kick it for you.” – karendonner
“This kid is a selfish a**. I’ve got 2 about this age (1 older, 1 younger). If either one had done this to me, he’d be out on his entitled a**. I’d tell my sister to KMA (kiss my a**) too.”
“She has no business butting into this relationship at all. Let him jerk her around for a while. She’ll figure it out.” – no1funkateer
Others agreed and said they would not live with someone like the son, ever.
“I wouldn’t charge rent. I would not let him stay with me. He wants to live in the city, by all means. If he cannot afford it, hit up his aunt.” – sshah528
“He is not the kind of person that anyone with brains would choose for a roommate.”
“He deserves to be sued.” – Lily_Roza
“That is some crazy sociopathic controlling behaviour. Keep distance. He’s an adult and should look after himself instead of taking advantage of mama.”
“She’s more than fulfilled her obligations and should be living for herself now. Also f**k that kid, those are some seriously sketchy moves.” – ginalolabrigida
A few also thought the son’s behavior was peculiar.
“I was just thinking this, especially because she says he is never like this. AND he found a buyer behind her back and just needs her to ‘say’ yes? Something is hinky.”
“Maybe a drug addiction, who knows. But whenever anyone tries to quickly force an issue without much time to go over details, they are usually trying to pull the wool over your eyes somehow.” – Suspicious_Music_494
“YES. I suspect that the son wants her to sell the house in order to liberate cash, and he believes that he will be able to get his hands on a large chunk of that cash one way or another.”
“The methods and reasons would be just speculation, but since this is unusual behavior for him and he has been very insistent (even finding a ‘prospective buyer’!), I suspect that there is an ulterior motive.”
“Oh, and NTA.”
“ETA this is such suspicious behavior that son may be an untrustworthy roommate, and I would consider making him move out permanently.” – TIL_eulenspiegel
The Redditors seemed to argue, though it was inevitably hard to kick her son out, it was probably a boundary that needed to be set.
Instead of worrying so much about his mother’s job and geographic location, he could spend more time worrying about his own.