There’s a certain level of responsibility that must be taken in caring for a living creature. If you aren’t ready to meet it, it may be best you aren’t the one to take care of it, whether it’s a puppy or a child.
But can you compare how someone treats a dog to how they would treat a human? Redditor throwawaypuppymaster did, and is now wondering if he did the right thing.
The original poster (OP) took his question to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to be judged for his actions.
“AITA if I tell my wife I don’t want to have kids because I don’t think she can look after them well.”
His situation was:
“I’ve (32M) been married to my Wife(29F) for about 7 years. We have discussed having kids before but we always said to wait a couple of years until our careers were more stable.”
“We’ve been enjoying our child-free lives but about a year back, we decided things were going pretty well for us and thought it’s about time we had our baby (working from home also frees up alot of time for extra-curricular activities) We haven’t had any luck so far but we’re having the ‘when it happens, it happens” mentality so we’re not rushing anything.”
“Sometime around Oct last year, Wife suggested that we should get a puppy.”
“We’re both animal lovers and we though it was a great time since both of us would be at home and we could watch over and house train it. We got the puppy and we both love him dearly.”
“But ever since we got him, I’ve had to bathe, feed, and clean up after him. Don’t get me wrong, she helps out as well but I would say it’s in a 90/10% ratio.”
“It gets extremely tiring after awhile and sometimes I just want to kick my feet up, have a nice beer and watch tv without being interrupted with ‘Hey, the puppy just peed! Can you come clean it up!’”
“It carried on for a couple of months and a couple of nights ago after a long zoom session for work, I exploded and told her that she needs to do her share of looking after the puppy and I’m tired of being the one who does all the work.”
“She told me I was being calculative and trying to under mine her. I told her that its clear that I’ve been doing all the dirty work and all wants to do is play with the puppy.”
“This is where I might have gone too far. I told her if I cant trust her to look after our puppy how can I trust her to look after a baby.”
“If we had a baby, I won’t be able to take cleaning up after him all the time and she had to do her share as well. If she was going to act the same way, I would rather not have a kid.”
“She screamed at me, burst out into tears and left the house. She has been staying at her parents for a few days now but things don’t really seem to be improving.”
“Her parents are telling me it was a horrible thing to say as a looking after a puppy is not the same as a baby and that she would make a great mum and that I should come over and apologize to make things right.”
“Personally, I feel like it was harsh yet I had to make a stand. I wouldn’t know what to do if a baby comes along and she continues acting the same way.”
“So reddit, aita for the way I acted?”
On the AITA board, people are judged using these acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
A lot can be said on the difference between caring for a puppy and caring for a baby, but in the end, OP was judged as NTA.
“Coming from someone who does have kids…NTA.”
“Her response is typical of someone who lacks insight and objectivity. Yes, a Dog and a Child are not the same, but people who act this way often carry it into parenthood.”
“If you asked me, you dodged a bullet there.”
“Do NOT reproduce with this person if you want equality in a relationship.” – EyMyGuy
“NTA, yeah it was a harsh thing to say, & in the future you need to talk about this sorta stuff rather than holding it until you explode.”
“But your logic isn’t exactly off the mark, a puppy is a hell of a lot easier to care for than a human.”