We all have one.
Our feelings on them vary wildly from person to person, and sometimes day to day, but we’re all in the same boat.
What happens, though, when someone goes out of their way to shame you for how you choose to dress yours?
That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) faechiir when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for outside opinions.
“AITA for wearing “revealing clothes” at the fitness center?”
OP began by restating the question and giving a bit of a history.
“AITA for running shirtless at the fitness center?”
“I (21 female) currently live in a complex that has it’s own fitness center. It’s not much, but it’s got a bunch of treadmills and is perfect for when I go running.”
“The issue is, I overheat incredibly easy when I run. I’ll be perfectly fine, no struggling, and still look like a sweaty tomato.”
“No big deal, but it does mean I tend to go shirtless.”
“I know that sports bras and leggings/shorts are fairly standard at gyms, but this fitness center has a playground right out back so I double-checked with staff and they said it’s fine.”
“Usually, I’m the only one there so I run (haha) into zero issues, but sometimes later in the day people will come with their kids.”
“This one woman in particular has given me a nasty glare a few times but I brush it off and keep doing my thing.”
Everything was fine, until…
“But yesterday, she finally approached me while I was packing up and told me that I was being inappropriate and setting a bad example for the kids by running in such an outfit.”
“For reference, I tend to run in a sports bra and running shorts.”
“The sports bra covers my chest down to the bottom of my ribcage (no cleavage or anything, not that I have the chest for it to begin with) but I do wear the shorts about an inch or two below my belly button.”
“Partially because I hate elastic on my stomach, partially because it gives me more length. Long story short, there’s nothing showing. No boobs. no a*s, just some midriff and leg.”
“I tried to tell her that I okayed it with staff and was just here to work out, but she told me that I needed to be more considerate of the fact that there are children around.”
“While I get what she’s saying, I feel like it’s a bit ridiculous.”
“My t*ts aren’t hanging out, my a*s isn’t bare, there’s nothing inappropriate about it (not that any outfit should be grounds for harassment).”
“I don’t know, I’ve tried to run in leggings and shirts made specifically for sweating, but I hate the feeling of sweaty fabric and still overheat like crazy.”
OP just had to wonder.
“But if I really am the a**hole, I can consider dealing with it or finding another time. So, AITA?”
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some responses were logical.
“Kids see more skin than that walking around any decent sized city. Or turning on the TV. Or opening a magazine. Shorts and a sports bra is fine.” ~ poeadam
“1. Not her business what you wear.”
“2. Even if I agreed with the sentiment that you could be scarring delicate young minds (and I don’t), there shouldn’t be young kids in the fitness center anyway and I wouldn’t be surprised to find it’s age restricted for liability purposes.” ~ murdocjones
“What you’re wearing is both legal, and appropriate for your activity.”
“It’s also fine for children to see — if there was a pool next to the playground, would that mom think people couldn’t wear swimsuits there?”
“This sort of clothing policing is ridiculous.” ~ AceyAceyAcey
Honestly, I’m just including this one for the use of ‘butt lobes’.
“You asked the building and it sounds like you aren’t running with your t*ts or ass out, so it is her problem.”
“I wonder if she would have an issue with a man running in just shorts or is it just women?”
“I have seen far less while outside running (man just wearing a loin cloth which showed his butt lobes).”
“Don’t feel ashamed for wearing what you do. It is her issue and she needs to not be so ashamed of the human body.” ~ kitkatrue
Of course, there were personal stories.
“I lived in a similar situation to OP, also can lose 5 to 10 pounds when I go running from sweat so I ran shirtless at my apartments fitness center for years.”
“Never had anyone mention it to me over like three years. Now I’m wondering if being a guy has anything to do with it.” ~ Relevant_Analysis_63
“I live in a college town with an absolutely massive running culture.”
“Your outfit is what about 60% of the female runners wear.”
“The woman at the gym is unhinged.”
“She’d have to lock her kids up at home to avoid seeing women in sports bras and running shorts around here.”
“NTA” ~ Dennis_Ogre
“I have two kids and wear basically what OP wears on a daily basis.”
“Guess who doesn’t care and has honestly never noticed aside from a ‘oh cute shorts mom’?”
“Kids don’t have a problem with bodies or clothes unless an adult is TELLING them to have a problem with bodies and clothes. Which just leads to so many issues for them in the future.” ~ Woodnote_
“So quick story- I have children ranging from toddlers-teens and we often frequent our gated neighborhood pool, as do many of our neighbors of all different ages.”
“The trend of the high-waisted bikini that shows off a ton of your booty is big at our pool, and it’s not my favorite look, but guess what?”
“I DONT SAY A WORD.”
“No, I don’t think my children’s precious little souls are not going to be irreversibly scarred by seeing women wearing things I myself wouldn’t.”
“No my children do not automatically think they are allowed to dress similarly because they saw some stranger doing so.”
“No these women’s attire isn’t to my taste but they are AT THE POOL, so even though there are children present, that really has nothing to do with them.”
“^ see what I’m saying there?”
“This stuff really bothers me because it’s a COMMUNAL area.”
“She is not the clothing police.”
“Having children does not make us more powerful nor holier than thou and thus able to dictate what strangers who my children might see wear.”
“You’re a grown woman wearing workout clothes to work out in a gym. You’re not her child’s teacher wearing a bikini to class.”
“NTA. She however, very much is.” ~ InternalExcitement23
Responses pointed out that the problem wasn’t with OP at all.
“You asked the staff and got the OK to wear that outfit.”
“Also, it’s a lot less revealing than what those kids would see at the beach or a public pool, or even on TV.”
“You need to be comfortable while working out.”
“And you don’t need to change what you’re doing because children might see you. You aren’t being inappropriate in any way,”
“Just ignore the pearl-clutching drama queen. If she continues to bother you, speak up to the staff at the fitness center.” ~ MerryMoose923
“Let’s be honest.”
“The kids don’t care.”
“The staff doesn’t care, the other gym goers surely do not care about your perfectly normal workout attire.”
“This strange woman who came up to you is the only one who cares and she is using her children as a justification to pester you.”
“Sometimes people yell weird stuff at me when I’m jogging, but don’t bother me when I’m walking down the same street.”
“It’s some kind of weird envy or anger that someone is exercising while they just sit around. Makes no sense, but they sometimes express that anger at the person who made them feel bad.”
“Wear what you want and report it if this woman keeps bothering you.” ~ RebelWithoutASauce
Commenters felt that there were other motives at play.
“Sounds like entitled mom is a wee bit jealous of your runners body.”
“She needs to mind her own business and stop harassing you for exercising in building gym. She can stay home if she’s so offended” ~ MissKrys2020
“NTA. I’m gonna put a little money down that her husband also works out in that fitness center.” ~
While we all have bodies, no two are exactly the same.
This isn’t just true for the form either, but our sensibilities and our comforts are also as unique as our fingerprints.
Be wary of someone trying to force their sensibilities onto you, particularly when they wrap the “concern” in the guise of protecting someone else.
Be who you are, dress in the way that makes you the most comfortable in whatever situation you find yourself in.
Be daring, or daper or delicate.
Be you and enjoy it.