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Woman Annoyed That Her Husband Has Become The ‘Neighborhood Husband’ For A Bunch Of Women


Redditor NoQuote942 is a wife on furlough who lives with a popular husband in a neighborhood primarily populated by women.

When her husband’s popularity became too much to bear, she visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for not allowing my husband to be the entire neighborhood’s husband?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained her “weird situation.”

“It’s become very clear that my husband is the only man on our street.”

“The rest of the houses are entirely women. There’s a few single mother houses, 2 houses of all female roommates, one single woman, and even a lesbian couple.”

“I normally wouldn’t care or even take note of this, but since March, it’s like we’re getting constant calls and texts. The number we gave when we moved in two years ago (just renewed last January) was my number.”

“I am FLOODED with requests for basic handyman stuff like changing light bulbs, car problems, and dealing with toilets.”

“He has helped people around the neighborhood before because he is a nice guy and we are from a culture that assumes that men need to ‘help out’ women if they can, even if they’re not related.”

“But with me being furloughed, he’s the only one working and is less interested in extra stuff, but the tasks do only take about 5-20 minutes on average, which I know because my husband makes me go with him because they make him uncomfortable.”

“Even more gross than that is that these women are obsessed with him on a personal level. They openly flirt with him and literally offer themselves up if he’s ‘ever tired of [me]’ or ‘wants something different.’ I have even gotten pictures of boobs from neighbors!”

“While I love my husband and am attracted to him, he’s not like a male model or anything so I really don’t understand why these women are fawning over him like this.”

“One of the single moms has even asked him to come over and discipline one of her children, which is an absolute nope.”

“He’s not comfortable with any of this and has asked me to intervene. I’ve tried talking to these women more casually to no avail.”

“I set up a zoom for just us ladies to try to get us on the same page.”

“They told me that since it’s now impossible for any of them to find anyone anymore (2020), I needed to share my husband and be less selfish in regards to household maintenance requests. It’s ‘not even safe’ to call for maintenance and I shouldn’t ask them to when there’s a ‘safe alternative’ where they don’t have to risk exposure.”

They also said that it was just ‘harmless flirting’ because they’re all ‘frustrated* and can’t date’ and that I wouldn’t even be threatened by it if I was ‘giving him kids’.:

“I’ve talked to my own family about this and while they say that the women should be less forward, I should be more understanding about how hard it is for a woman to be alone because my own mother was alone.

“AITA for not just dealing with it?”

“*I’m substituting frustrated for the word that was actually used to make this slightly more family friendly.”

Anonymous strangers on the internet weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

A majority of Redditors declared NTA and criticized the other women for their inability to take care of themselves and openly flirting and insulting the OP.

“NTA. These grown women should learn how to complete basic home maintenance themselves. Start sending you tube videos to them instead of your husband.”CajunKC

“Seriously especially sh*t like changing a light bulb!! As a woman who live alone YouTube has been my best friend. I can do most basic maintenance around the house and all sorts of DIY. I even built my own bed from scratch!!”

“I don’t expect applause for any of this obviously. But if I can do it from reading Wikihow and watching YouTube videos they can too. I’d hate to be so dependent on another person that I couldn’t change a lightbulb.”

“As for the flirting Jesus Christ they can f’k right off.” – faerieunderfoot

“Feminism means putting on a rubber glove and pulling the nasty hair-filled clog from your shower drain yourself.” – Relevant_Lime

People mentioned the valuable DIY resources available for the clueless neighborhood.

“When my family moved into our new place there was A LOT of work that needed to be done. Bathroom needed to be fixed, windows needed sealing and a bunch of other things.”

“My dad isn’t home a whole bunch due to work but my mum is a SAHM so she did almost everything alone by watching YouTube videos and trial and error. FFS I could change a light bulb at 9, adults need to learn basic home repair if they want to own a house.”

“And what type of a**hole do you have to be to flirt and make super inappropriate advances ( hecking t**ty pics? Really? That’s not just a ‘whoops sorry!’) Op is for sure NTA.”

“Either he needs to grow a pair and tell the other families that he’s done because of all of their behaviours, or OP better be ready to get a lot of shit, either way this needs to stop cuz my god not ok.” – CoCa_Coa

“I’ve fixed so much even though I rent. I’ve repaired leaky toilets, plugged stripped door frame screw holes, changed out dryer electric cords (3 prong to 4 prong), and done pretty extensive car repairs.”

“All with the help of YouTube and DIY sites. One of my coworkers was inspired by my can-do attitude, so she repaired her shower when the pipe holding the shower head broke. She thanked me for giving her the confidence to do it.”

“I was confused because she didn’t ask me for advice before. She explained that hearing about my diy sagas made her realize that she could do it herself.”

“I happen to think the biggest lesson she learned from me is that I can rarely complete a task without at least 3 trips to the hardware store lol.” – TitaniaT-Rex

“My 7yo can change a light bulb and unblock the toilet. If she didn’t know how to, she knows how to look it up on Youtube. WTF is wrong with these women?” – ollieclark

“You both need to start telling them ‘no.’ You don’t need to get them to agree that they’re out of line, you just have to say ‘Sorry, can’t help.'”

“Or, if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, could you show up to help? None of things they need help with requires a penis to do.” – lamamaloca

“WAIT! how do you change a lightbulb without using your penis?”

“But seriously, now you’ve put that image in my head I have to strongly agree, OP and her husband need to start saying no, and the jokes about her insecurities coming from them being childless need to stop.”

“OP NTA.” – GrinerIHaha

“NTA – if they aren’t able to maintain their homes, they should move to an apartment with an on-site handyman.”

“Neither you nor your husband are comfortable with their requests, and you are a more agreeable woman than I am for putting up with the disrespectful violations of flirting and sending nudes to what they thought was your husband’s phone.”

“I get trying to be a good neighbor and all, but they are walking all over you both and completely disrespecting your marriage with their ‘jokes.’ Those aren’t jokes coming from the one(s) who sent nudes.” – Ipromisetobehonest

Overall, Redditors gave their NTA assessment and reminded the OP and her husband that they are under no obligation to be at the neighborhood’s beck and call. Especially when the women were so rude to the OP when she asked them to back off.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo