A wedding is the bride and groom’s day to shine.
It’s the day their loved ones all come together to celebrate their love and commitment to one another.
So, it’s understandable if the bride or groom gets annoyed if someone is stealing attention from them on their big day.
But what if the person stealing their attention has absolutely no control over doing so?
Redditor hskko’s new sister-in-law was not afraid to hide her annoyance at all the attention his ten-month old son was getting at her wedding.
This resulted in her making a request, which he was happy to oblige.
But when his doing so resulted in anger from the rest of his family, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for leaving my brother’s wedding earlier after I was pissed at my SIL?”
The OP first shared how bringing his son to his brother’s wedding came with some complications.
“Ok I (m[ale] ,29) have a 10 month old baby.”
“Everyone in my family knows me and my wife both are both new parents so we are a bit overprotective.”
“I had to go to my brothers wedding last week without my wife since she was a bridesmaid at another wedding.”
“So I had to fly with my son alone and it was really stressful.”
I was already on edge and my brother and SIL knew this.”
While the OP’s brother was sympathetic, and happy that his young nephew was coming to the wedding, the OP’s soon-to-be sister-in-law found the baby’s presence to be something of an imposition.
“My brother was very happy that I was bringing my son but SIL wasn’t.”
“She was extremely hostile towards me.”
“So she basically made it a point that she’s not going to serve my son food.”
“That was fine with me, so I made plans to bring my own food.”
“When I told her I’d be bringing food, she said I’d need to feed him outside the reception hall.”
“This wasn’t an issue.”
“I thought it was weird ,but it’s fine.”
As is the case with most infants, the OP’s son had some trouble keeping quiet during the ceremony, which the bride had little patience for.
“So during the ceremony he got a little fussy so I took him out to change him.”
“I ended up missing part of the wedding ceremony because I forgot the diapers in my rental car.”
“My brother was really understanding but once again my SIL made more snide comments and told me I need to get my son under control.”
“I then made a sarcastic comment saying ‘yeah I’ll just tranquilize him next time’.”
“She did not like that joke at all.”
What proved to be the final straw for the OP’s sister-in-law, however, was how excited all the wedding guests were to meet the OP’s baby boy.
“During the reception pretty much everyone on my brother side was coming up to me and trying to meet my baby for the first time.”
“This was the first family gathering I brought my baby to and everyone just wanted to see him.”
“Well this didn’t sit well with my SIL once again.”
“She was mad everyone’s attention was on me and not her.”
“Eventually she came up to me and told me to stop stealing their moment or I can get out.”
Feeling this was probably the best decision for everyone, the OP took her up on that offer.
“At that point I was really tired of her bs so I just left and went back to my hotel.”
“The next day my mom and dad were furious at me and asked why I left.”
“I told them and they still took SIL’s side.”
“My brother is now mad at me too.”
“I told them straight up that SIL is acting like a child and that I can’t make my son stop acting like a baby.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly took the side of the OP, unanimously declaring he was not the a**hole for leaving the wedding early.
Everyone found the behavior of the OP’s sister-in-law to be childish, and were equally surprised by the reaction of his family, as he did exactly what his sister-in-law asked him to do.
“I’m confused about what your family/SIL wanted from this situation.”
“You brought your baby, the bride got upset at the presence of your baby because it was ‘stealing’ attention from the couple, so you left.”
“What exactly did they want you to do, cover your baby with a blanket for the rest of the night?”
“Stand outside the venue until everyone left?”
“There was seemingly no compromise here.”
“Also, idk what time any of this was taking place, but if it was evening I’m sure you would have been leaving early anyway, considering you had a 10 month old with you, so why are they upset?”-meagantheepony.
“How are parents going to be upset that you left early but then take your SIL side when you told them she asked you to leave?”
“Like what were they expecting you to do and why aren’t they upset with SIL?”- angirrr.
“The weirdest part here is why your family would take her side if she literally told you to leave.”
“Assuming you hadn’t previously been waving your baby around like Lion King, the only reasonable response to ‘Stop stealing attention or leave.’…. Is to leave.”
“Also considering THEY were included in the people paying attention to the baby, they are actually TA here.”-Creepy_Fig_776.
“Nta, she told you to leave and you left.”
“Now everyone is unhappy that you left after the bride told you to leave?!?!”-trixxie79.
“I would let your parents know they are siding with somebody who made a baby be fed outside of the venue over their grandchild.”
‘WTH with that woman?”
“I’m so sorry about your brothers future divorce.”-Inevitable_Fuel_3013.
“She… told you to leave…”
“You can’t control if others come up to you.”
“But please do pray for your brother who is now married to an AH.”- SleepDangerous1074.
“‘She came up to me and told me to stop stealing their moment or I can get out’.”
“Literally did what the bride requested.”
“I can’t see why anyone would complain here.”
“It’s not like he can stop the baby being a baby, or stop other relatives wanting to see the baby.”-BikingOtter.
“NTA – you did what she asked and put the attention back on the wedding girl.”
“She seems like a peach and I bet she spun it back on you in someway.”
“Hopefully, your family will come to their senses.”- PrincessAngelPuff.
“Did they expect you to put the baby in the car where no one can see him and come back to the wedding alone?”
“You weren’t saying ‘EVERYBODY, COME LOOK AT MY BABY!'”
“You were sitting there holding a baby and people were excited to meet him.”
“That is a natural part of weddings and any event where families who haven’t seen each other in a while gather together.”
“I’d store this moment for when she has a baby and starts throwing tantrums because people aren’t paying enough attention to her and her baby.”-angelcat00.
“She asked you to leave.”
“You left. And everyone’s mad at you?”
“Make it make sense!!”
“Seriously, on behalf on AITA please ask your parents and brother exactly what it is you should have done?”
“Babies don’t have off switches for your convenience.”
“I would not speak to SIL anymore either.”
“I get it’s your wedding but wtf are you supposed to do?”
“Just throw your baby away for a night?”
“Like wtf lol?”-pandajaade.
“I understand her frustration somewhat because the focus is meant to be on the bride and groom.”
“However, being hostile towards a 10-month old is pretty damned spiteful.”
“If this was not a child free wedding and your baby was invited, she was just being pissy.”
“I get that she wanted to be center of attention at her wedding, as most brides do, but she had no right to be so hateful to you.”
“Definitely did the right thing getting your baby away from her.”- flutterby727.
“I think your SIL was jealous of your baby.”- Luminoose.
“How dare your 10 month old baby act like a baby!! for shame!!”
“all jokes aside, nta! “
“Your family is ridiculous, I’m so sorry you had to endure such a stressful situation all by yourself :(.”
“Kudos to you for handling it as maturely as you did, though!”-squisheebean.
“The bride told you to leave, so you left.”
“What else were you supposed to do??”- LilliannaWinterWolf.
“It sounds like your SIL didn’t want your baby at the wedding and if that was the case she should have addressed it before the ceremony.”
“Like asking if your in laws could babysit since both you and your wife have a wedding the same weekend to attend.”
“Baby’s are going to cry that’s what they do you did what any reasonable person would do and removed the crying baby from the ceremony until the baby was done crying.”
“She made some nasty comments about controlling a 10 month old, who the fuck talks down to a fucking baby?!”
“Then proceeded to get jealous of the attention that your baby got from your side of the family which should be expected as many haven’t meet the baby IRL yet.”
“She asked you to leave and you complied.”
“I don’t understand why anyone on your side of the family would even be on her side over this.”
“I’m upset that your family thinks that talking down to a baby is acceptable behavior because it’s not.”
“I’d probably peace out a bit from your side or the family and if asked why let them know that you’re not going to allow people to talk to your child that way.”-Glitter_is_a_neutral.
It’s not uncommon for a bride to have trouble controlling her emotions on her wedding day.
But being jealous of a ten-month-old baby is worrisome behavior, under any circumstance.
Should she have any children of her own, it will be interesting to see how she fares when she needs to bring them to a wedding one day.