As video camera technology got smaller and smaller, the first applications were military and national security then criminal investigations followed by commercial security applications.
Things like ATM cameras, nanny cams, home security systems and such.
Once the tiny video cameras hit the wider commercial market, phones, tablets and laptops used the technology to enable business and personal video conference calls.
Remember Skype?
Then someone, somewhere realized peepholes—those fisheye lenses at eye level in solid doors that let people see who's on their doorstep—hadn't gotten an upgrade since they were invented by George Winningham in 1932.
Enter the video doorbell.
Video peepholes were briefly a thing, but video doorbells combined several features all at once: the peephole, the intercom, the doorbell and the security camera.
One of the earliest of these doorbells on the market was the Ring Video Doorbell created by Jamie Siminoff in 2013. Since then, many more video doorbells were introduced to the market, many with additional, unique features bumping them up from video doorbells to smart devices.
Amazon's Alexa, Apple's Siri and Google's Home added integrated versions to their existing suite of smartphone or smarthome devices.
Once reserved for businesses and single family dwellings, apartment complexes eventually embraced the technology—allowing renters to mount the devices at their exterior or interior hallway doors.
But in close confines like apartment complexes with shared central hallways and rows of doors, one tenant's smart doorbell surveils more than just that resident's doorstep. So what takes precedence, one tenant's security or their neighbor's privacy?
A woman in conflict with her new neighbor over this question turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Celinef101 asked:
"AITA for refusing to move my ring camera after neighbor confronted me?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (25, female) have lived in my apartment complex for a few years and have always had a Ring camera for security reasons and to avoid package theft that happens pretty often where I live."
"My Ring camera is attached to my door and faces my neighbor's door across the hall—about 3ish feet away."
"Recently a new neighbor moved in and knocked on my door to ask if I could move my camera because it makes them uncomfortable that it faces their apartment door or turn off the motion activated sensor."
"I had no problem with this and ordered a new mount to place slightly to the side of my door so it's not a full view of their unit for their peace of mind. However, I think they assumed I brushed them off because I didn't fix it the next day after asking me."
"As a result, they've begun walking up to my camera multiple times a day leaving somewhat threatening messages into my camera like 'you don't want this to become a problem' or 'your liability is going to become my liability'."
"I don't even know what they mean by that."
"Now I don't want to move my camera at all since they're trying to intimidate me and make me feel uncomfortable."
"I completely understand that some people are not comfortable with recording devices which is why I had no issue ordering a new mount to appease their concerns. What I'm not okay with is them harassing me because I hadn't made the change within a day."
"Also, they're 'new' to me, but not brand new to the neighborhood. I've been here for years and they've been here 6 months. It's weird that this is just now coming up in a hostile manner. I've had conversations with them before/introduced each other with no mention of my Ring."
"WIBTA if I don't move my camera anymore since they're trying to intimidate me?"
"By the way, Ring cameras are not prohibited in my complex. Plenty of our neighbors have them throughout the community."
The OP added:
"I turned my camera off when they first approached me. But the next day I heard whispering at my door while I was cleaning up my kitchen."
"When I looked out my peephole, I saw my neighbor there seemingly talking into my camera. After that I turned it back on to capture what exactly they were saying in case they did it again."
"Lo and behold, they did it again the next day."
"Also, when I first heard them whispering at my door, I opened it and said 'hello' and 'can I help you?'."
"They ignored me and just walked away and slammed their apartment door. So they're being super passive aggressive for no reason."
"I'm so confused honestly."
"When they came over, I told them I'd be happy to turn off the motion activated sensor while I look into options for an alternative mount. Maybe because I didn't explicitly say that I'm going to get and install a mount on a specific day they thought I blew them off?
"But this was two days ago. I'd understand if longer time had elapsed.
"Also, they were polite when they first asked me and this sudden 180 of behavior in such a short timeframe is alarming/confusing to me."
The OP summed up their situation.
"Because my neighbor started to intimidate me about moving my camera when I was originally planning to, now I'm hesitant to do so."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
"NTA. Speaking threats into a machine that's entire purpose is to record picture and audio seems like a really good way to lose a lot of your money or at least your lease." ~ Forsaken-Blood-109
"Any type of threat means you hand it over and let management take care of it."
"It's the neighbor, not you. Especially if several other tenants have the cameras and your past neighbor had no issue with yours."
"That person is crazy and if you can get them evicted, even better. I sure as sh*t wouldn't feel comfortable living across the hall from someone like that. NTA." ~ leese216
"Personally I'd be pretty happy if someone had a security camera that covered my door as well. I'd try to get on and maintain excellent terms with them so that if I had a package theft or other issue they'd be willing to share the footage if needed."
"This neighbor is up to some shady sh*t and needs to be evicted by management if they're that worried about what might be seen." ~ dontbsuchalilbitchbb
"Take the threats to the apartment complex management and if you need to, call the cops and turn it over to them too."
"That's harassment and if they start making threats that involve weapons or bodily harm, then that becomes a terroristic threat in the United States." ~ jjrobinson73
"I'd 100% eemail the footage to management and BRING a copy to the local PD. Don't call the cops and have the neighbor seeing the cops coming to your apartment."
"Frankly I'd also ask a guy friend to come stay or visit frequently."
"This is psycho behavior that needs to stop, but in the meantime your safety is first priority."
"I'd also get more video storage—local or cloud based—and record 24/7. But at the very least reenable the motion detection."
"Who the f*ck do they think they are and what the f*ck are they hiding?" ~ Legal_Cupcake1324
"NTA, but if they're threatening you, report them to the appropriate authorities, immediately. Stay safe, OP." ~ adventuresofViolet
"There's a ton of reasons the neighbor might be paranoid and uncomfortable about the Ring camera, whether mental illness, past trauma, illicit activities or just incredibly private."
"Regardless of their reason, the fact is that this person has begun acting aggressively. OP needs to start a paper trail with at least management more than anything."
"And OP really should not engage with this person anymore for safety reasons. NTA." ~ Anabikayr
"NTA at all, but prepare for your Ring to be vandalized or something." ~ bewbies-
"They sound like they may be package thieves themselves and don't want cameras around. NTA." ~ Late_Put5542
"NTA. I would still consider moving the camera, but not before reporting their behavior and showing those messages to your landlord/management company." ~ laurasdiary
"Definitely NTA. They could've checked out the apartment before moving in and saw your camera and could've requested a different unit."
"If they didn't check it out first, that's on them. Once they explicitly threaten you, file a police report."
"Before that happens, put the camera back to normal and then let them know you will angle it away from their door so they have their privacy, but that you won't be removing it for the exact reason you cited, that you've been stolen from before and that is your deterrent."
"Don't threaten the police report because that could escalate matters. If they knowingly break the law in front of the camera, that's on them. Just file it without saying a word to them." ~ AdExcellent4663
"NTA, and frankly they're just offering more reasons as to why you need the camera." ~ RoyallyOakie
Several Redditors suggested the OP communicate with their neighbor, but the OP described them whispering into their camera lens.
OP is a 25-year-old woman living alone. For her own safety it's time to disengage with the neighbor and turn the matter over to the apartment complex management.
If she needs to tell the neighbor anything—like she plans to move her camera but is waiting for her new Ring camera mount to arrive—a third party should pass on the message.
Frankly, complex management gets paid to handle issues with tenants. Let them do their job and stay safely out of the conversation.
















Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.