Parent Called Out For Making Distressed Girl's Mom Pick Her Up During Sleepover Due To Crying Fit

Sleepovers can be a big part of growing up.

For many kids, they're a huge right of passage.

But sleepovers can take some getting used to.

Being away from home without one's parents can be a little daunting.

Redditor Positive_Image_3921 found themselves in a personal dilemma regarding their child's sleepover guests, so they turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.

Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.

They asked:

"AITAH for making a mom pick up her daughter in the middle of the night from my kid’s sleepover?'"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"This weekend, I had a small birthday sleepover for my 8-year-old daughter and a couple of her friends."

"The night started completely normal."

"The girls had snacks, watched movies, and went to bed around 10:30."

"But around 1:30 AM, one of them came into my room crying and woke me up (single mom here, so there was no man in the room, don’t worry)."

"She said she was scared and wanted her mom."

"While I was trying to calm her down, she told me this was her first time sleeping somewhere new, which was unbeknownst to me and caught me off guard."

"I did my best to try to comfort her."

"I sat with her and got her a drink, but she kept crying and getting more worked up, repeating that she wanted to go home."

"I gave it some time, but it wasn’t getting any better."

"So at that point, I felt like it wouldn’t be right to force her to stay somewhere where she was clearly not happy."

"I called her mom and asked if she could come pick her up right then and there."

"Her mom came, but she seemed annoyed. "

"The next morning, she texted me saying she wished I had just waited it out until the morning because now her daughter is embarrassed and might not want to try sleepovers again."

"Where I’m frustrated is that I feel like I was put in a bad position and destined to fail from the start, no matter what."

"I wasn’t made aware that this was her first sleepover, and I don’t think it’s fair to use someone else’s house, especially during their child’s birthday party, as the guinea pig without giving a heads-up."

"I’m not mad at the girl at all."

"I felt really bad for her."

"But I also don’t think it was my job to handle that level of distress all night."

"But I’m wondering if I should’ve just stayed up with her a bit longer to see if she’d go back to sleep and try to push through until morning, as the mom said."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So... AITAH?"

Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.

"NTA. I'd be furious to discover my child had been begging to come home because they were scared and someone kept them against their will."

"It's on their parents to guide her through the situation and help her understand her feelings, why she felt what she did, and then make sure they put a safety net in place for the next time she tries."

"As a dad, I'd be extremely grateful to you for sitting with her and treating her with kindness and then calling to get her home." ~ Mikrail

"A great piece of parenting advice I once saw was not only to give your kids carte blanche to ask for a ride home from anywhere, no questions asked, but to include a signal if they needed you to take the heat for it."

"For example, they text you the shrimp emoji, and that's you queue to call them and remind them they have a test to study for, or tell them Aunt June is in the hospital, or whatever excuse, and they need to come home right now."

"I feel better that my kids will always be comfortable asking me to pick them up from a situation they are uncomfortable in, and that they won't hesitate because they don't want to risk social embarrassment." ~ Red_wanderer

"My daughter used to get night terrors, and it took about 5 trials until she made it through the night at a sleepover."

"We told the sleepover parents EVERY time and made sure they understood to CALL US ANY TIME."

"We would always want to collect her."

"1,000%."

"NTA in any way whatsoever." ~ trombing

"Early on, our daughter liked the sleepovers but not the sleep part. "

"We had a standing agreement that we would pick her up after the movies and snacks and bring her back in the morning for breakfast."

"We communicated this with the host parents, and there was never an issue. "

"It took a few of these before she was comfortable with actually sleeping over."

"Part of growing up." ~ sjclynn

"Not the a**hole at all."

"Mom should have told you that it was the girl's first sleepover, for one."

"And that poor girl's embarrassment is unfortunate, but it happens to a lot of us at that age."

"It will pass, and the girls will forget and move on to other things." ~ Siren_of_Madness

"NTA, I was that little girl growing up."

"My parents had to get me several times, and they did without complaint."

"That mother expecting you to REFUSE that little girl's pleas to go home is BONKERS."

"Not only is it cruel, but it also sets you up for trouble."

"You did the right thing for you and that little girl."

"That mother was only thinking about herself."

"It takes balls to expect another mother to deal with their own upset child in the middle of the night." ~ buffhen

"You say she was getting more worked up as you tried to comfort her."

"That means she needed to go home."

"Staying was too much for her at this point, and she needed her own mom."

"It wasn't going to get any better."

"Invite the girl back over for a movie and popcorn or something, and tell her she was no trouble at all, and we all get scared and need our moms sometimes."

"She can always go home if she's having a bad time."

"It's unfortunate her mother is upset, and you can't fix that, but hopefully it'll blow over, and she'll get over it."

"She's probably embarrassed she didn't realize she should've told you it was her daughter's first sleepover, and that she was so emotional in front of you."

"You're NTA, you did the right thing."

"She's only 8." ~ TheThiefEmpress

"Dad here."

"The mom should absolutely not have let her daughter sleep somewhere new..."

"1) at an important event like a birthday party and ..."

"2) without telling you."

"We had similar issues with one of my daughter‘s friends a few years ago, but we were told, and the mom did end up having to pick up her daughter because she couldn‘t fall asleep here. NTA." ~ ExtendedSpikeProtein

"NTA. If the roles were reversed, the other mom absolutely would have called you, too."

"She's just annoyed she had to wake up and take care of her kid." ~ ChadPartyOfOne

"NTAH! Here’s an alternative reality: If you had refused to call the girl’s mother and the next day the girl looked like she’d been crying all night, you’d have been negatively judged for NOT having reached out to the parent."

"Therefore, you were in what’s commonly called a 'no-win situation.'"

"You were 'damned if you do/damned if you don’t.'"

"Have you considered the possibility that the mom was just upset that she had her sleep disturbed?"

"She’d rather it was you who were up ALL night with her distraught child."

"And, yes, I know that having a sleepover entails the host being up for most of the night, but that’s different. It’s one thing to be up because you’re supervising children having fun and another to handle one child’s emotional crisis."

"If I had been in your shoes, I’d have done the same thing." ~ TinkerbellRockNRolls

"NTA, girls' mom sucks."

"8 is young, and sleepovers are scary sometimes."

"The little girl has nothing to be embarrassed about."

"But if you had kept her while she was so upset, her mom would have lost her mind."

"There was no winning." ~ DiscoGinger1711

"That mom sucks."

"Kid is probably embarrassed because her mother made her feel like a burden for being scared."

"No wonder she doesn't want to try a sleepover again; she feels like she can't call her own mother if she gets frightened."

"You did the right thing, OP."

"If I found out my kid was scared and asking for me in the middle of the night, I'd be pissed off if the parents DIDN'T call."

"Not your job to decide whether this kid is sufficiently panicked enough to get her lazy mother off the couch."

"Signed, another parent. NTA." ~ hoginlly

"NTA, and I'd bet money I don't have that if you had let her daughter cry and beg to go home all night, she would've lambasted you for not telling her."

"I know I'd be PISSED if my baby was begging for me and the other adult took it upon themselves to wait out my child's distress without contacting me - and I don't even want kids... lol." ~ Dry_Cauliflower4562

"NTA at all."

"I would never put another parent in that position without talking to them about it first and coming up with a backup plan together if it didn’t work."

"And I would never resent anyone for letting me know I should come pick up my child, who was getting more and more escalated like that." ~ Bustysaintclair_13

Reddit clearly agrees with your actions, OP.

You did what you thought was best for the child.

This mom should've given you a heads-up.

Hopefully, this will be resolved, and the next sleepover will be better.

Good Luck.