One of the hardest elements of a break-up is "moving on."
Even after acrimonious splits, it's still hard to accept your new status as a singleton.
It can be even more difficult to see or learn that your ex has found a new partner.
Redditor Icy_Cheesecake7531 recently went through a fairly dramatic break-up.
Not long after being single again, the original poster (OP) found comfort with a friend of theirs and their ex-partner.
When their ex-partner learned about this, they were not at all pleased and made this clear to the OP.
Wondering if they had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here?" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH because I slept with a mutual right after my ex cheated on me?"
The OP explained why things went from bad to worse with their ex-partner:
"This happened late last year, and I'm still contemplating whether or not I truly was in the wrong."
"Early October, my now ex (of 3 years) cheated on me with a childhood friend of hers from another state."
"He had apparently been over here and she 'coincidentally' saw him at a club."
"Ha-ha right?"
"Anyways, I found some horrible things on her phone that I won't go into, but I have another post that goes more in depth."
"Anyways, as soon as I found out I broke up with her and I'm going to be completely honest, I was hurting really bad, I've been cheated on before and she knew it was a sore spot for me, so unlike last time I wasn't just hurt but I was also feeling super betrayed."
"I made contact with a mutual friend I met through her, and within that first week we had slept together."
"Anyways a few weeks passed and my ex and I are kinda still in contact, and we agree to meet up so we can exchange our personal belongings, and during that she asked me how I was feeling and if I had been with anyone else (I'm assuming our mutual friend talked? Idk), but I tell her the truth. Mind you, we met in a public park in the city, so lots of people around, she's going off at me and is disgusted in me and tells me 'you didn't waste any time'."
"Now I admit I was hurting a lot because I loved this person and shared lots of personal/intimate details about my life that I've never opened up to anyone else about before, I allowed myself to be SO VULNERABLE with her and she threw it in my face."
"I always told her if she were to cheat, that's fine, simply break up with me, do not continue dating me, and lying to me, that's all I ask."
"She tells me that I must of never loved her and was probably faking it the whole time because of how easy it was for me to do that(really contradicting) I thought but I haven't been able to shake the feeling that maybe I was in the wrong for A. Going about it so quickly. B. Doing it with a mutual friend I'd met through her."
"I'll be real here like I was real with our mutual, I didn't do it because I secretly wanted this person or because I'd been waiting for this moment, I did it to soothe my own feelings of betrayal and feeling worthless, and she knew that before we slept together."
"She told me my ex was a rude person and sided with me."
"But I still wonder if that makes me a bad person."
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP did nothing wrong.
Everyone agreed that the OP's ex had no right to react the way she did after she cheated on the OP:
"'tells me "you didn't waste any time"'".
"You should have just responded with 'yeah, you wasted enough of my time'."
"NTA and yes, I win every imaginary argument while I'm in the shower."- Prudent-Bicycle-9210
"NTA."
"The fug?"
"She went off at you for hooking up with someone else after you had broken up?"
"Also, mind you, she was the one who cheated?!"
"Lol."- PapaSmurf11232
"She didn't even wait until the breakup to move on."- ComprehensiveAd2037
"She cheated, you broke up, you are free to have sex with anyone who wants to have sex with you."
"She is simply trying to make you the bad guy."
"Block her, move on, heal, live your life."- Select-Jicama-6089
"NTA."
"You were broken up."
"You can do whatever with whomever you want."
"You owe your ex nothing."
"Pay her no mind."- No_Following_2017
"NTA."
"She's a gaslighter."
"She cheated on you, and once you two have broken up, she has the nerve to turn this on you like 'you never loved me if you moved on so quick', well maybe check your own backyard, lady, if you really loved the guy, why did you cheat on him?"
"Anyway, I don't feel like you're missing much."
"Plus, nobody can be mad about you sleeping with someone while you're single."- MJdoesThings_
"She said a bunch of manipulative things to make herself seem like not such a bad guy, it’s to rid herself of guilt by spreading it around."
"Don’t buy it, she’s a liar and a cheater."
"Her opinion of you is none of your business and is as rotten as the rest of her personality."- brainybrink
"'You didn't waste any time'."
"'You cheated during our time together."- Scouter197
"She's your ex-girlfriend who cares what she thinks?"
"It's not your problem anymore."
"NTA."- Zack940
"Her ego is shattered, and she’s just trying to regain control of the situation, NTA."- Bluedreamfever
"Who cares what she thinks? She's a dirty cheater."
"At least you waited, unlike her."
"She's got a lot of nerve, that one."- undercoverhippie
"We don't need this much context."
"You were single, sleep with who you want."- aeroeagleAC
"NTA."
"It's called a rebound for a reason."
"Sounds to me like she's projecting her feelings onto you. It's pretty ironic that SHE cheated and then wants to throw some shade and say things like 'you didn't waste any time' or 'you must not have actually loved me'."
"I beg your finest pardon??!!! "
"SHE cheated!"
"None of this would've happened had SHE not done that."
"The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this b*tch!"
"I'm so sorry this happened to you."
"Cheating is the one thing I am non-negotiable about."
"Why can't people have the decency/self-respect to say: 'hey, I don't want to be with you anymore'."
"Or whatever the reason and break up with their SO prior to moving on is beyond me and something I will NEVER understand."- Secret-Station6224
"Well, everything she said tells you how she felt about you."
"She cheated while you were still in a relationship, so she must have never loved you."
"That's the only answer you need to give her."
"Get on with your life."
"She sounds like a cesspool."- TALKTOME0701
"Kinda funny she throws out the 'you never loved me' and 'you didn’t waste any time' when she conveniently met her childhood friend and cheated on you while still in the relationship."
"The who didn’t love who is pretty obvious in this situation."
"You were broken up when you were with the mutual friend."
"If you were honest with her, then you betrayed no one."
"NTAH."- slitteral1
"You can send her a message, 'You have a lot of nerve yelling at me. I didn't waste time?'"
"'I wasted 3 years of my time with you'."
"'At least I had the decency to wait until the relationship was over before jumping into bed with someone else'."
"'I didn't plan it, it just happened'."
"'You, on the other hand, planned it out on how to cheat on me."
"'You're the one that needs to reflect on her character'."
"'Good luck with loverboy'."
"'I hope he cheats on you'."
"Then block her."- rocketmn69_
"NTA."
"You were broken up."
"Who you slept with or if you did sleep with anyone after you broke up is none of her business."
"She lost the right to know the moment she started f*cking another guy while you were together."
"Once again, it's never easy to know that your former partner has moved on, when you have not."- PhilsFanDrew
That being said, seeing as the OP's ex was unfaithful to them, knowing the damage this might cause, it's hard to imagine how she could possibly justify her actions.
Even if the OP didn't wait too long to be intimate with someone else, they can at least say they waited till after they broke up.
Something the OP's ex cannot say herself...
