Lending out personal belongings isn’t always easy.
It’s especially stress-inducing when personal items are left to a person with a rough track record of not taking care of things.
They seem to always be the people who need to borrow.
This can cause a lot of drama in personal relationships.
Redditor j0lly_s wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to lend my laptop to my younger brother?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (23 Female]) have a 14-year-old younger brother.”
“For context, I got my first laptop when I started college to study civil engineering.”
“It was a 2-in-1 office laptop that also worked as a tablet.”
“I only had it for less than a semester before the pandemic hit, and my parents decided to give it to my younger brother for online classes.”
“After that, they got me a Dell G3.”
“About a year later, he broke the first laptop, so they gave him my Dell.”
“Then they bought me the one I currently have—an ASUS ROG Strix G16.”
“Now, he’s also managed to ruin the Dell.”
“My parents are asking me to lend him my ASUS for just two weeks while they buy him a new one.”
“I said no, and now everyone’s upset with me.”
“The thing is, my current laptop has all of my thesis work (graduation project) and personal files.”
“I really can’t afford to lose or damage anything.”
“My brother has a track record—he’s destroyed two laptops in under five years, lost two original chargers, and we’re not even sure how careful he is with his stuff at school.”
“For all I know, he’s throwing it around or letting classmates mess with it.”
“My laptop cost over $1,000, and the one they’re planning to buy him is around $800.”
“My parents told me if he ruins mine, they’ll just give me the new one.”
“But specs-wise, mine is clearly better, and that trade doesn’t feel fair.”
“I don’t want to risk losing my work or ending up with a downgrade.”
“Now my family is acting like I’m being selfish and not helping out when it’s just for two weeks.”
“But I feel like I’m just protecting something important to me.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So, AITA for saying no??”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, your family sucks.”
“Also, as a fellow grad student, back up all your thesis work immediately to cloud storage, U[niversal] S[erial] B[us] and even to your own phone.” ~ historical-anomali
“I was gonna say this!”
“Emailing yourself is great because very easy to do, it’s not hard to sign in or get it set up on a new device, and finding the files again will be incredibly easy, especially if you make a new group to put them in.” ~ shriekingintothevoid
“NTA, but be smart and back up all your graduate work.”
“Desperate parents will do jacked up things.” ~ curiousblondwonders
“NTA and tell your parents to get little Mr Destructo a used $100 Chromebook, not waste $800+ on a laptop he’s sure to destroy in a year or two anyway.”
“Hell, buy him eight, they still come out ahead (also, they should get the insurance no one bothers with).”
“Why on earth would it take two weeks?”
“Two days, tops.” ~ shelwood46
“NTA. Also, as someone who almost lost half their thesis due to not backing my s**t up, please for the love of God, have your stuff stored in at least 3 places.”
“Google One Drive is like $2 a month.” ~ hammie95
“Bro, hell no.”
“That’s not some random laptop you use to write notes that you can just lend to any other laptop.”
“That’s a f**king G16, that’s a beauty that he will ruin.”
“Your parents don’t understand that it’s like he lost an old flip phone, and they’re asking you to lend him your iPhone, and if he breaks, they’ll give you the flip phone.”
“Not to mention, everything else aside.”
“I would never lend mine to someone if I had sensitive data on it that could be lost.”
“F**k to the no.” ~ SnooBananas4958
“LOL. Your parents are idiots.”
“The kid ruined two laptops, so they want you to give him yours for the third time while they buy him a new one?”
“Tell them to buy him a bus ticket and a library card.”
“You’re not an a**hole.”
“Your brother is irresponsible.”
“You have important s**t on your laptop.”
“He can do without.”
“Classes are in person again.”
“He needs a computer so bad, he can go to the school library, or use that bus ticket I recommended and go to the public library in your town.” ~ shadho
“NTA. Your brother sounds like a little s**t.” ~ Filthiest_Tleilaxu
“NTA. And the little chucklef**k will keep breaking all his sh*t until he has consequences, which your parents should know by now.”
“They can get him a serviceable laptop off the rack and have it tomorrow, and they’ll lose less money when he destroys it.” ~ 30Helenssayf**koff
“Wait, isn’t the G16 a gaming laptop?”
“My bet is that he wants it for gaming, and when your parents get his new one, he doesn’t want to trade, and they will give you the new one, aka downgrade.”
“NTA… but jeez, back up your thesis!” ~ Kaori18
“NTA. Your brother needs to learn the consequences of being hard on his devices.”
“One of those is that he doesn’t get to have a computer for a while.”
“And your parents need to let him know that if he breaks this one that they will be buying a 5-year-old brick for him in 6 months.” ~ fyrdude58
“Oh man, I forgot about the Dell G3 — thanks for reminding me about it!”
“NTA — your little brother needs to learn how to treat his tech devices.”
“You have your studies and documentation on your laptop, and you need it for school work, so he can just wait until his new laptop comes in.” ~ geekyheart225
“NTA and tell your brother to stop watching naughty stuff online.”
“Unless he’s physically breaking the laptops.”
“Then he just needs to stop being a clumsy/angry person.” ~ PhxFresh420
“NTA – Your laptop is your lifeline for your thesis, not a loaner for someone with a history of wrecking gear.”
“You’re not selfish – you’re just done being the backup plan.”
“Your parents are huge AHs for enabling your brother to break laptops without any consequences.”
“Be careful, OP.”
“As your parents bought the laptop, they will use this reason to force your hand.” ~ w0ck0
“NTA. They are clearly favoring the boy.”
“He’s already ruined two previous laptops.”
“By the way, you should have backup files of anything important on your laptop.”
“If something happened to that laptop, it should only be an inconvenience to you because you have backup files for everything you need.”
“If this is not true, then you need to do that as soon as possible.”
“You will feel completely stupid if something happens to your files, and those files on the computer are the only ones you have.” ~ Deep-Okra1461
“NTA, make save files just in case, also make sure that neither your parents nor your brother can take it if you are not looking.”
“As the others said, those who can’t take care of their stuff use the public option.”
“Seems like your brother gets babied.”
“Will he throw a tantrum when he hears a no and break yours out of anger?”
“Just asking since there are too many stories likely his.”
“Don’t let it go from your eyesight.”
“People who call others selfish in these situations are more likely to just take what they want.” ~ Dandechii
“Personally, I’m on your side – HOWEVER – you stated you’re worried about losing your work.”
“Don’t you have it backed up to some online storage or a spare drive?”
“If you don’t you’re a damn fool.”
“Do this ASAP because devices fail, get stolen, broken, or whatever, and I’ve read of people losing YEARS of work because they didn’t back up their work… don’t be that person.”
“Do your backup NOW.” ~ Mission_Mastodon_150
“NTA. I’ve had laptops for 20+ years now, and not once, not ever, have I ‘ruined’ one.”
“I retire them.”
“They are always in ‘like new’ condition until they finally get very tired, and I feel like I want something new, shiny, and pretty.”
“Don’t let the kid anywhere near your stuff. Ever.” ~ Wwwweeeeeeee
“NTA, you have every logical reason not to trust him, considering the last two times they gave him your laptop, he broke both.”
“And if he breaks this one or messes with your files, you’re screwed in more ways than one.”
“So, unless your family wants to also put down an entire school year’s worth of pay up front and the cost of the specs in case your brother costs you your graduation, he can do without a laptop for a couple of weeks.” ~ Blood_Edge
“NTA. He’s clearly shown he cannot be trusted.”
“Also, soft YTA to yourself.”
“Google One or any of the other cloud storage services offer 15GB free.”
“Use them to backup your life’s work.” ~ awjre
“NTA. They don’t want your brother to have to go two weeks without a laptop, but they expect you to give up your laptop instead?”
“Even if he treated his laptops well, you shouldn’t have to give up the laptop you work on your thesis on for two weeks.” ~ theword12
“NTA. You should start protecting your files at this point and store them in the cloud, buy a hard drive, anything just to save copies on separate devices.”
“I don’t want to assume anything bad about your family, but they may try to use it without your permission.” ~ Champiorado
“I support you not letting your brother use your computer; he’s clearly careless, but I urge you to back up your computer on an external drive, which you keep separate from your computer.” ~ Positive_Opposite540
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your brother has proven his irresponsibility.
Now he needs to prove responsibility, but not with your property.
You have every right to protect what’s yours.
Good Luck.