The stress of being a new parent causes all sorts of hurdles, but one mom on Reddit had a particularly unique–and potentially dangerous–one.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by tokyo-nights3977 on the site, was outraged when she found out her husband had been drinking their son’s formula when he fed the baby.
She wasn’t sure about how she’d handled it, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
OP asked:
“AITA For blowing up at my husband over formula?”
She explained:
“My husband and I welcomed our son 6 months ago. Due to medical issues I recently started feeding my son formula which is what my husband always wanted because he used to complain about lack of bonding time to spend with our son.”
“My husband demanded that we split formula feeding time 50%50 no more, no less. I had no problem with this demand but he started leaving other tasks that he’s supposed to do causing me to pick up the slack like changing and bathing et cetra but it’s not really a problem compared to what he’s been doing lately.”
“I discovered that he’s been drinking our son’s formula whenever it’s his turn to feed him, why does he do that? No idea but so far I’ve caught him doing it several times. He kept making excuses saying he only drinks it after our was already full so he drinks the rest since it tastes good.”
“I asked him to stop because the bottle needs to be clean and he keeps drinking from it and not clean it afterwards. I was done getting new bottles and taking care of sanitizing after him.”
“I caught him doing it days ago and he said I was making big deal out of it since he only drinks after making sure our son’s no longer hungry. But yesterday I caught him drinking from the bottle while it was full. Not just that but he was taking turns with our son by feeding him some then drinking some himself.”
“I saw this and blew up asking why kept drinking the formula that I pay for (it’s expensive where I’m from) and causing our son to not receive proper feeding and WORST, getting our son the risk of bacteria or infection by putting the bottle in his mouth.”
“He apologized to get me off his back but I told him I’ll be handling feeding from now on out and he looked shocked then said I can’t take away his bonding time with his son. I said I was serious and if he’ll push me then I’ll go stay with mom.”
“He gave a lengthy lecture saying ‘oh you’re going to your mom’s? Really? How long are you planning on keeping my son away from me? When are you gonna come back? Til I apologize for wanting to exercise my simple right of feeding my son?'”
“I said I already gave a warning and he didn’t stop, plus he has other forms of bonding with our son like changing, bathing and playing with him but he objected and said It’s not the same and I overreacted over formula and was being controlling as if this was my son alone and demanded to keep his fair of formula feeding time.”
“The conflict hasn’t been resolved yet and he’s acting like I offended him with what I said.”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who is in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Not only were they unanimously on OP’s side, but many found her husband’s behavior alarming.
“Pack up your stuff and take the baby to your mom’s now please…”
“…Your husband is being a royal jerk. He needs to stop doing this sh*t or he’s going to need to end up talking to child protective services”
“NTA. Defend your kid in this situation” —AbortTexas
“I totally came here to say formula tastes disgusting. I honestly don’t understand what your husband is doing. NTA.” —LimitlessMegan
“Jumping on here to say this isn’t just gross, it can kill the baby. RSV and herpes are very lethal to small children and easily passed from adult mouths. Its why you aren’t supposed to kiss them on the mouth either.”
“Hard stop this now OP. This is so far beyond just weird, he is actively endangering your kid. And I would not believe for a second he only does it after feeding the kid. Not when he is already lying and sneaking.” —MaraiDragorrok
“NTA.”
“It’s not just the sharing with formula. It’s everything. He does nothing with his kid and then put the kid’s health at risk and taking away his meal and not being sanitory.”
“He needs counselling and you need a lawyer.” —Primary-Criticism929
“NTA your husband is literally stealing your baby’s food to satisfy some kind of kink he has. That and risking your baby’s health by doing so.” —Aitasuperfan
“Yeah. I can’t help but think this is some fu*king weird kink. I am sick to my stomach about this post.”
“NTA N T A N T A N T A”
“RUN. Pack your bag and take space away from him until you can get a clear picture on the situation. We only have a tiny bit of info here but it’s not a pretty picture OP. Or at the VERY least I would not leave him alone with the baby for even a minute or I would install hidden nanny cams.”
“Edit: at BEST he is STEALING FOOD literally straight from the baby’s bottle. And at WORST it’s something far more disturbing.” —for_thedrama
“NTA. ‘When you stop stealing food from our CHILD, you can feed him. I literally can’t trust you not to steal food from a baby right now. A BABY! This isn’t a negotiation. You need to stop immediately and take your hurt feelings elsewhere.'” —aspermyprevious
Hopefully OP can figure out how to fix this very strange problem with her husband.