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Parent Called ‘Disgusting’ For Bathing Their Infant Son And Toddler Daughter In The Same Tub

Young siblings taking bath together
Cavan Images/Getty Images

Though it’s 2022, some people still have very questionable beliefs about children, their bodies, and their mindsets about sexuality.

Some of the beliefs are truly disturbing, leaving some to hope that children aren’t hearing them, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

While their mother-in-law was visiting, Redditor Think-Shine-8082 gave their two children a bath at the same time.

But when their mother-in-law made comments about how inappropriate that was, the Original Poster (OP) began to second-guess their choices.

They asked the sub:

“AITA for bathing both of my kids together?”

It was time for a bath after dinner in the OP’s household.

“J is 2 years old, and S is 7 months old. Both my kids love water; they are such water babies.”

“We had my mother-in-law (MIL) over for dinner (my husband wasn’t home due to him being away for work), and my son knows that after dinner, it’s time for a shower or bath.”

“S has just started eating soilds, so as you can imagine, it’s quite messy after dinner.”

The OP and their MIL had different ideas about what bath time should look like.

“I asked my MIL if she could watch both kids so I could run the bath as it’s easier for me to run a bath when both kids are messy.”

“Well, I believe she thought I was going to bathe both kids separately because as I began to undress them both, she walked into the bathroom and start yelling at me about how disgusting I am to bathe both my kids together (they are brother and sister).”

“She started saying how it’s going to confuse them and they will properly turn out all messed up like my family (a lot of mental health issues on my side of the family).”

“After a solid few minutes of her yelling hurtful things at me about bathing my kids together, I yelled at her to get the h**l out of my house.”

The OP later felt conflicted about the argument.

“I’m getting a lot of hurtful messages from my MIL’s family, so it’s making me think I’m TA.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some confirmed that there was nothing wrong with two young children sharing a bath.

“NTA. At some point, your kids will make it known that they no longer want you or anyone else to see them naked. For most kids, this happens around 7 or 8. Chances are, you will have already stopped bathing them together by then; but if not, that is definitely when you stop bathing them together.”

“Before you get to that point, your kids will likely go through an exhibitionist phase where they take their clothes off and run around naked. (We used to joke that there was always a full moon in our house.)”

“It’s nothing sexual, it’s just kids being kids. They are fascinated by their bodies, and why not? The human body is a very strange thing. At that age, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them seeing each other naked.” – Jaded-Combination-20

“NTA. They are a toddler and an infant. There is nothing weird about small children bathing together.”

“My little cousins are 3-year-old twins (one boy and one girl) and they bathe together because it’s easier for my aunt and they are siblings.”

“H**l, I used to take baths with one of my cousins until we were 6 or 7. It really isn’t a big deal and your MIL is being weird.” – s0larium_live

“NTA. My mom used to bathe me with my siblings all the time when we were kids. We thought it was a blast. My grandmother actually has a picture of me and my (male) cousin playing in the bathtub when we were like two.”

“Your MIL is projecting onto innocent children.” – katiemcat

“NTA. What else are you supposed to do when you’re home alone with them, put one in the tub and send the other out for a smoke? Your MIL is being idiotic.” – amosc33

“I’m not a parent and don’t have siblings, but I still thought that bathing young siblings together like that was pretty normal? It makes your life easier as a parent and both the kids end up clean and taken care of. I’m not seeing the issue here.” – Comfortable_Papaya_2

“NTA. They’re little, and it’s efficient. I nannied for a family with 3 kids (7 female, 4 female, and 2 male). The master bath had a big deep garden tub, and bath time often meant chucking them all in with heaps of bubbles and mom putting on shorts to climb in and wash their hair.” – ChastityStargazer

“NTA. In my culture, families go to the sauna together (until usually when kids hit puberty and decide to go separate) and we have a very healthy acceptance of nudity and different bodies.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong. Your MIL is sexualizing your toddlers.” – unluckysupernova


“In addition to the fact that they are babies, my family definitely did this. There are pictures of me and my brothers and my cousins all in the bathtub at my grandparents’ house.”

“We may be weird, but we are all completely mentally healthy and have no long-term effects other than slight embarrassment when they bring out the pics, lol (laughing out loud). Your kids will be fine.” – tubesweaterguru

“My parents bathed me and my brother together (1-½ year gap) with no issues… We would play in the water together and get clean.”

“Naked bodies are not bad things, and it’s not sexual for children to bathe together.”

“Your MIL is the one who is confused here.” – TBdoggies

“My 2-year-old loves ‘brother baths,’ but my 6-year-old is probably going to age out of that soon. Sometimes he still wants to and sometimes he doesn’t. We’d never force him of course, it’s just more convenient bathing both at the same time.” – demographics

“I’d argue it’s not going to confuse them at all. It’s not hard to understand that boys and girls have different bodies, and toddlers don’t really need an explanation of why. Will they ask? Almost certainly, and you go with an age-appropriate explanation.”

“But heck, you also get questions about where hands come from that I just can’t answer. We’d be so much better off if everyone taught their kids about all body parts factually and respectfully.”

“We have them completely aside from their sexual purpose, but that can also be taught factually and respectfully in an age-appropriate way whenever questions come up. Why are we teaching kids that their bodies are shameful?” – human060989

Others agreed and thought the mother-in-law was the one with the problem. 

“NTA, of course. I mean, I imagine she’d have a fit if you (gasp) CHANGED A DIAPER in front of the other one.”

“She’s got serious issues, and she would not be allowed around my kids until she fixes them.” – Leximachu

“NTA. She’s the one who’s going to confuse them. They aren’t old enough for any of that to matter. Lots of littles end up in the tub together. She sounds like the root of mental health issues.” – joeswastedtime

“NTA, not even close or even in the same solar system.”

“My boy and girl bathed together till they were 7 and 5 respectively.”

“She’s being a sexual deviant, making it something it is not. Tell her she won’t bathe the kids in the future.”

“And someone needs to pee with the bathroom door open in front of her.” – Whiskey-Blood

“NTA. They’re innocent little babies who know nothing and don’t have malice.”

“Next time, tell your MIL that your kids aren’t messed up like she is.” – Unpopularopinionpod

“NTA. MIL was way out of line and should not be welcomed back into your home until she apologizes to you.”

“Your husband should back you up on this or else he’s an AH, too.” – 86max86

“NTA. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard lately. It’s going to confuse them?? That’s almost funny.”

“I’d have thrown her out also, especially since she insulted your family.” – Slight-Bar-534

“Guess who is sexualizing the bath? Not the 2-year-old or the baby.”

“It’s the one calling YOU messed up.”

“NTA.” – namastaysexy

“NTA. It’s actually creeping me out that she’s sexualizing babies/toddlers. Especially siblings. That’s the only (massive) gross thing about the whole situation.” – Signal_Historian_456

“Everyone, don’t forget her yelling and attacking the OP’s family members for whatever mental health issues they have.”

“She is one twisted individual. The kids are going to be exposed to THAT.” – Inner_Stand_8394

“NTA and quite frankly, your MIL is disgusting.”

“You need to tell your husband what happened and tell him to get her and his family in line, and if he has a problem with that or tells you that his mother is right, then you don’t have a MIL problem, you also have a husband problem.” – DeliciousMud7291

“My brother and I took baths together when I was like 8 and he was 1. Because he was a baby. Babies don’t really have a gender in any meaningful way, so combining genders doesn’t matter in the slightest.”

“Your MIL is acting crazy town banana pants. If you had two boys or two girls, she’d probably say bathing them together would make them gay.” – Kathrynlena

“Scream at that woman to STOP SEXUALIZING YOUR BABIES! She’s the sick one here, not you. I had Irish twins, a boy and a girl, and I always bathed them together.”

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, they don’t even notice the differences really yet, and when they start, that’s when you start talking to them in an age-appropriate manner, about the differences between boys and girls, and use the actual scientific terms for body parts, no cutesy nicknames for private areas.”

“She’s a vile person for implying anything inappropriate was going on between two literal babies. She should be ashamed of herself.” – Myalligatormouth

Not only did the subReddit not see any issues with the OP bathing their two children together, but they were thoroughly disturbed by the direction the OP’s mother-in-law took the situation.

She made terrible implications about sexuality, inappropriate behavior, and mental health, all of which would be awful mindsets to expose the OP’s children to.

Hopefully, after talking to their husband, the OP would be able to come to a solution about this.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.