It’s outrageous how heated an argument can get over the meal someone chooses to have on their own table.
but when it’s time to host a dinner party, there are bound to be diet-related opinions, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
After fully embracing the Keto diet, Redditor NotYetMasterCaster was becoming fed up with comments made by her sister-in-law, who didn’t agree with the diet.
But when her sister-in-law accused her of trying to trick her into the Keto diet while hosting a dinner, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was somehow wrong for cooking her usual way.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for ‘tricking’ my Sister-in-Law (SIL) into trying Keto?”
The OP and her sister-in-law (SIL) did not agree about their diets.
“I (28 Female) have been on Keto for the last two years. I tried it because I was always feeling bloated and crappy after eating and was struggling to lose weight.”
“Keto really helped with my IBS and other gastro symptoms and I’ve lost some weight and am keeping it off.”
“My brother (25 Male) married my SIL (24 Female) last year. My SIL and I have always been cordial and she’s a nice lady but we haven’t gotten close yet.”
The OP was used to her SIL making comments about her diet.
“I’m really close to my brother so I see him often and usually have lunch or dinner together at least once a week.”
“SIL eats a ton of fast food and pasta and generally unhealthy stuff but works out a lot so manages to stay thin.”
“She doesn’t have the most mature palate but my brother is pretty open-minded and had tried and liked keto food with me.”
“She and my brother know I’m keto, and my SIL sometimes makes fun of me for it and tells me I should just ‘eat some pasta’ a lot and just work out like she does.”
“Usually, it’s just a few joking sorts of comments every now and then and she’s not rude about it so I’ve let it slide.”
It became an issue when the OP was hosting dinner.
“Yesterday I invited her and my brother to my place for dinner.”
“I asked him and SIL if they had any preferences or ideas for what to have for dinner. My brother said anything was fine and they were excited about my cooking.”
“I made a tasty keto meal and tried to make stuff I thought SIL would like too. I did bacon-wrapped sausages as a main, one of my favorites, and then a side of cauliflower rice with broccoli and bacon.”
“They came over and my SIL was acting a little strange as I brought out the food and asked ‘jokingly’ where the bread was but everything was going fine.”
“We were partway through the meal when my brother asked what everything was. I told them and my SIL got upset, saying that I tricked them with ‘fake rice,’ and that I was being sneaky and unreasonable and trying to force keto on her.”
“She refused to eat with us after that and ordered some fast food takeout.”
When the OP tried to make the situation better, it definitely got worse.
“I was a little offended and then I suggested to my brother afterward that maybe we could just do a meal, just the two of us.”
“My SIL overheard and accused me of trying to force others to do keto and leaving her out.”
“She demanded to know why couldn’t I just make real rice or pasta like a ‘normal person’ and that I should have known better than to make my ‘weird food’ for other people.”
“I didn’t mean to offend my SIL. I guess I should of known and tried to make some carbs, but the food was really tasty, and I didn’t think I was forcing anyone…”
“So sanity check here, AITA??”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some didn’t like how judgmental people can be about other people’s diets.
“This reminds me of the people who get all bent out of shape over one meat-free meal when it’s prepared or hosted by a vegetarian. NTA.” – RoseFeather
“What OP did to SIL isn’t even keto. Having one carb-free meal does not mean you’re doing a keto diet. To do a keto diet, you have to get into ketosis, which takes 3/4 days (sometimes a week) of no carbs to use up your glycogen stores.”
“And you will absolutely feel it the first time you do this because it will probably suck until you actually enter true ketosis. So the SIL would have to eat no carb for a week to be safe to enter ketosis.” – Asn_Browser
“NTA. I’m not keto and not interested in being keto, but who serves and requires bready/starchy carbs with every primary meal?”
“I mean, a protein and veggies is a pretty standard dinner around here. I do bread, rice, and pasta with dinner maybe three times a week. I think that’s pretty normal.” – PurpleMarsAlien
“This also makes me think of the ‘ew vegans’ crowd and how they don’t realize how much food out there is just vegan by chance and how often they eat vegan without even realizing it. It’s like they think I’m eating a head of lettuce for every meal or making weird science experiments in my kitchen.”
“Also, soup is my absolute favorite category of food because of how easily vegan it is. Always down for a good bowl of soup.” – broken-imperfect
“Respecting someone else’s diet (assuming you have no food allergies) is such an easy thing too. It’s one meal. You don’t have to follow the diet forever, you eat it once to respect the person who is cooking for you.” – partofbreakfast
Others agreed and questioned why the sister-in-law (SIL) was so upset.
“I don’t think at any point OP suggested they’d be serving real rice and switched it out. In fact, OP asked if they had preferences and they didn’t.”
“If it were a case of false promises, that’s one thing, but OP making a tasty meal that happened to also be keto isn’t a reason to get upset.” – nycbee16
“It’s not even a carb-free meal. Cauliflower has carbs, it’s just that it has lots of fiber so it doesn’t have much of a glycemic impact.”
“This lady is annoying AF. If he had roasted the cauliflower with butter and served it that way, instead of riced, she wouldn’t have been weird about it. Like, who’s going to fuss about being served a vegetable as a side?” – MamaBirdJay
“It was the SIL telling OP how to eat and OP wasn’t forcing keto on her, OP never said anything about the meal being keto or not.”
“It would be one thing if SIL specifically asked for a non-keto meal or if OP said it was a non-keto meal when it wasn’t, but that’s not the case.”
“Personally, if I were to be served a meal by someone who I know is keto or vegetarian or vegan or whatever else, I would expect it to be a meal based on their eating habits unless otherwise specified. Especially if I didn’t actually ask for something different.” – radiant_kiwi208
“I like carbs too. If they know she eats keto though, why would she expect to be served something different?”
“Also, acting like she was hiding it as rice? Why? Unless she told them it was regular rice there’s no reason to feel that way.”
“If I went to a vegetarian household and they cooked, I would assume it would be vegetarian.” – Elismom1313
“It’s close to unbelievable that you would expect to be fed non-keto food at OP’s house, but people can be super weird.”
“She has an ‘immature palate’ because she’s not a fan of most of her diet being meat? Live your best life, but I wouldn’t describe bacon-wrapped sausages as a super complex flavor profile.” – ObjectiveCoelacanth
A few Redditors pointed out that it may have been the surprise factor that angered the SIL.
“I get bent out of shape when fake meat is presented as real meat and then I gag on it because fake meat does not have the right texture. I do not personally mind fake meat and will eat it if I know that is what I am eating, because I know to expect a different texture. (And I do try to eat vegetarian at least part of the time because I know how bad the meat industry is for the world.)”
“But being surprised with fake meat when I have been told to expect real meat will make me annoyed and upset.”
“Turkey meat is another good example. I like turkey burgers and recipes that use ground turkey, but it tastes different enough that I have to know that’s what’s being cooked or else I’ll run into the same problems I have with fake meat.”
“I don’t know what it is, but it’s like I have to mentally prepare myself for a meal and know what to expect before I can eat it.”
“Just to offer another perspective here. Sometimes people are asses about not eating meat just because they’re a**holes, and sometimes people are a**es about not eating meat for other reasons.” – partofbreakfast
“Being lied to about what you’re eating is way different than being told upfront or not being told at all, and not asking.”
“I don’t eat or cook pork, so I make sure everyone knows when I make turkey sausage. It smells and looks similar, but obviously, the taste and texture are different. Same with plant-based sausage.” – mackenml
“If I don’t have ‘real carbs,’ I’ll be hungry in an hour however much I eat. Yes, I know cauliflower is a very carby vegetable, but cauliflower cheese does not fill me. Cauliflower cheese and half a jacket potato, or a slice of bread (reheated cauliflower cheese on toast is great and I’ll fight you) and I’m good.”
“I still wouldn’t be a rude a** about it, but I would have been left hungry after OP’s menu.” – Doctor-Liz
While the subReddit thought there might be more of a rift between the OP and the sister-in-law than a simple disagreement in diets, they didn’t think the OP was wrong for serving the food they would normally serve in their own home.
If the sister-in-law was concerned about eating like the OP, she could have asked what was for dinner, or simply planned to never eat there again.