It’s always appreciated when family members offer to help one another.
As long as they are only helping out for the sake of helping out.
For when people offer help only for reciprocity, then it’s almost better if they hadn’t offered any help at all.
Particularly if they aren’t up front about that to begin wiith.
Redditor MakeTheCakes was initially touched when their sister offered to help out with their three-year-old daughter’s upcoming birthday party.
Until it was revealed that the original poster (OP)’s sister wasn’t so much offering to help as she was offering her services.
For a fee, which the OP flatly refused to pay.
Wondering if they were in the wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to pay for cupcakes at my daughter’s party?”
The OP explained how she was surprised and disappointed when what she thought was an act of generosity from her sister was in fact a paid service.
“My sister offered to make cupcakes for my daughter’s upcoming 3rd birthday party.”
“I never asked and she out of the blue offered.”
“The day of my daughter’s party my sister pulled me aside saying it would be $60 for the 2 dozen cupcakes.”
“I was floored and I thought she meant it as a gift.”
“I told my sister that and she gave me a sob story of how she’s hard up for money.”
“This cast a shadow over the whole party and my sister took all of the cupcakes and left so we just had ice cream.”
“My daughter’s 3 so it’s not like she’d notice.”
“My sister did the random TikTok post to ‘no scrubs’ and captioned ‘the poor are at it again’ she told everyone I refused to pay her.”
“She threw all of the cupcakes into the trash.”
“She gave out her cash app.”
“Now I feel like she set the whole thing up for likes.”
“It’s disgusting behavior from a grown woman and I told my mom about it and she just dismissed me saying my sister is in a hard place right now.”
“Meanwhile thousands of people are on her TikTok commenting on how poor I am and how I’m a moocher.”
“I don’t know how even to respond because I didn’t realize my sister was going to charge me for the cupcakes in the first place.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was under no obligation to pay their sister for the cupcakes, and they were in no way the a**hole for doing so.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s sister should have been immediately upfront that they expected to be paid to make the cupcakes, and their behavior afterwards was totally uncalled for.
“Your sister should have been upfront about the cost, and $60 for cupcakes is beyond ridiculous.”-Inner-Manner-6768
“Springing the cost on someone like that last minute is first-class dick behavior.”
“As is taking a three year old’s birthday party and trying to make it about you.”
“Like damn.”- bulldog_blues
“Your sister is using you to play other people for money.”
“$2.50/cupcake is about what you’d expect pay at a boutique bakery for a cupcake made by a professional baker.”
“I seriously doubt that what she brought was anywhere near that level, most likely came out of a box mix.”- Coogles
“Duet her TikTok and let everyone know she offered and then left a group of 3 yo’s without cupcakes.”
“That’s so ugly.”
“She’s hard on money but then threw perfectly good cupcakes away.”
“No one who is tight on money wastes food like that.”- siiighhhs
“Just add this reddit link to her TikTok.”
“She offered you did not ask.”
“You aren’t a moocher.”
“If you had asked and then didn’t want to pay you’d absolutely be the a**hole here, but that’s not what happened.”- Kreeblim
“If she expected payment, she should have been upfront about it and not upon delivery.”
“Also, $60 for cupcakes?”- sarcasmislife28
“And $60 for cupcakes?”
“Did she cook them with gold flakes?”- OwnPercentage9088
“And why get stressed over people falling for your sister’s blatant lies?”
“You know what’s true and hopefully you know better than to fall for it again.”- Fenriswolf_9
“She offered out of the blue then tried to charge literally as she arrived with them.”
“She’s the AH for how she reacted, because it would be reasonable enough to ask if you could compensate her if she’s struggling, or to bring it up before, but it all sounds very silly on her end.”-Swindy_Sam92
“She could have said, I’d love to do cupcakes but I’m short on cash, are you able to pay for them?”
“She did the old, offer something and then put a price on it at a point where she felt it would be too late for you to say no.”
“She was depending on social pressure to force you to pay her instead of giving you the opportunity to either agree to the cupcakes, and a price, ahead of time.”
“Then she throws them out for the drama instead of just saving them for herself or selling them to someone else?”
“She’s attention seeking and frankly not too bright.”
“Make sure to tell your Mom she’s welcome to give your sister money if she’s that concerned about her.”- whatsmypassword73
“And don’t bother to respond.”
“She’s an a** and who cares what a bunch of TikTok people say or think.”
“If someone says anything to you directly just shake your head and say yes, it’s so sad when family members have a problem telling the truth.”- Lex-tailonis
“She was trying to manipulate you and when you didn’t play ball, she started badmouthing you on social media.”- Comprehensive-Fun47
“If somebody, especially a family member, offers something for a party they are attending, it’s entirely reasonable to assume it’s free.”
“And if it isn’t, it’s entirely reasonable to expect them to tell you the cost beforehand, and clear it with you before actually making said item.”
“First, you are NTA.”
“Sister is the AH.”
“What a shame your immature and self-centered sister is so shallow and desperate for attention.”
“It does sound as if she is a spiteful, ill-behaved 13-year-old.”
“Being in a hard place is not an excuse.”
“She has behaved so badly.”
“I would be pissed and stay pissed for quite a while.”- ladidi10
“I’m glad your daughter is too young to understand or miss the cupcakes.”
“But seriously, LOL, your idiot sister can’t be too hard for money if she bought the stuff to make the cupcakes & didn’t think twice before throwing it in the trash.”
“I’m petty AF, so I’d make a responding TikTok or stitch it with the pics from the party, so innocent people don’t send that snake their money.”
“Go NC w her.”
“She’s a con & she’ll be nothing but trouble.”
“Mom sounds like an enabler, so I’d go LC w her, too.”
“Put her on an info diet.”
“She’s literally taking the side someone who literally, metaphorically ‘took candy from a baby’.”
“And that baby is her own grandchild, so you’d think she’d care.”
“NTA, obv.”- Glittering-Eagle-654
“The best thing to do is not respond.”
“You simply distance yourself from your sister and refuse to engage.”
“At the most and I worked in a bakery.”
“Regular cupcakes where $24 for dozen.”
“Specialty Cupcakes with filling inside where $48 for 2 dozen.”
“Your sister was trying to rob you.”- evillittleperson
“And I’d be going very low contact with her from here on out.”
“I make homemade cakes for all of my siblings, niece, nephew, and mom s birthdays, is never dream of asking them to pay me, is part of my gift to them.”
“If anyone is being a cheap ah its your sister.”- stseomfs
“If she was so hard up for money then she could have opened her mouth and said something before hand.”
“She is a grown a** woman.”- demonmonkey1313
“If you have any texts showing the truth I would stich her TikTok.”
“But that’s me being petty.”
“Otherwise just let it go.”- ContributionNo2778
“NTA she should have established that way before.”
“That should have been discussed upfront.”- U_PassButter
Had the OP’s sister told them upfront that they expected to be charged to make cupcakes, they likely would have paid for them.
Even if she had simply told the OP she was in a bit of a financial bind and needed some money, it’s entirely likely that they would have lent it to her.
One can only hope that the OP’s sister will eventually learn that it’s always best to be upfront and honest.
Though based on her behavior on social media, it seems like she might need some professional help to do that.