Libraries are meant to be places of peace and quiet.
There are literally signs everywhere stating this fact.
People are there working, studying, researching, concentrating or just taking a quiet moment to reflect.
So when others disturb that peace, it can cause some chaos.
Case in point…
Redditor noidea019946 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for getting a woman with a crying infant kicked out of the library?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (26 F[eamle]) am currently in a nursing program.”
“First semester, first year.”
“We just had our first (online) A&P exam.”
“It’s not proctored by the way.”
“I also have A[ttention] D[eficit] H[yperactivity] D[isorder] so I get standard accommodations like double time and taking it at the testing center.”
“The time limit is already built into the online exams but my school’s testing center was full.”
“Small school, still have some restrictions on the capacity.”
“The school is small enough that I can’t really take the exam at the school library.”
“So I went to my local public library at 11 am today.”
“It can get louder after nearby high school students get out but it’s a weekday so I thought it’d be relatively quiet.”
“But in the background, I noticed that a baby started crying.”
“I thought nothing of it at first and tried to focus on the exam.”
“The baby just wouldn’t stop crying though.”
“It wasn’t just fussing either.”
“It was full on crying nonstop.”
“I could hear the mom but she wasn’t actively trying to soothe her.”
“After 30 minutes of that I got up, found a librarian, and explained the issue.”
“She said she’ll take care of it.”
“But then 5 minutes passed.”
“Then 10. Then 20. Then 30.”
“The baby still didn’t stop crying and the mom still wasn’t actively soothing her.”
“I got fed up again, told a different librarian, and walked up to the woman to tell her to take her baby somewhere else.”
“The woman broke down and started screaming at me about how ‘cruel’ I am about trying to kick a woman with a baby out of a public library.”
“I responded that she’s neglecting her baby and not even soothing her for an hour.”
“She broke down even more and screamed louder that I’m an unreasonable bitch who doesn’t have a child, and she’s trying her hardest.”
“One of the librarians finally came over and told her to get off the property or they’re going to ban her permanently.”
“I got to finish my exam but barely made an A.”
“AITA for having a woman with an infant kicked out and not feeling bad about it?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA but you shouldn’t have had to approach the woman in the first place.”
“Also, when the librarian told her if she didn’t leave they would ban her permanently, that should be the clue that you are not the first to complain about this person.”
“Frankly, I’m concerned about the baby.” ~ Jintess
“The public library isn’t always going to be the perfect haven of peace and quiet; nor is your school library!”
“But 60 minutes of a baby crying is about 58 minutes too long.”
“As others commented, I can’t believe that you had to ask two different librarians to get this fixed, and this sounds like a problem patron. NTA.” ~ MystifiedByPeople
“When my son was very young, were at the public library and he decided to try out his legs by standing up in his stroller, which he had never done before.”
“I was a few steps away, just not close enough to catch him before he toppled and grazed his head on a metal shelf support.”
“He screamed, screeched, and hollered, and I had him out of that place in 20 seconds.”
“Yes, he recovered almost as soon as we were back in the car.”
“I would not have dreamed of letting him wail like that and disturb everyone else in the place.”
“The mother sounds neglectful. NTA.” ~ PandoraClove
“NTA. A baby was crying nonstop for an hour in a public space.”
“To make matters worse, the public space was a library, where patrons have an expectation of relative quiet.”
“The mother was also not making any attempts to quiet the child, which is inconsiderate of others.”
“Three strikes, she’s an A H.” ~ flooperdooper4
“Librarian here: libraries are actually moving in a more active (noisy) direction!”
“I’ve worked in 5 libraries in the past decade and they all encourage collaboration and programs that are pretty noisy.”
“And while I’ve been instructed to wait for a noise complaint before kicking someone out of the library.”
“The librarian should have taken care of the problem after the first 10 minutes.” ~ Celestial_Unicorn_
“Yes. If there is a noise complaint, it needs to be investigated.”
“A group of people at a table working on a project together is not the same as a baby screaming for an hour or someone having a phone conversation on speaker.”
“Libraries are no longer silent, but it’s not the same as being in a bookstore, either.” ~ tatersprout
“NTA. You didn’t get her kicked out, she did.”
“Everyone knows you are supposed to keep your volume down in a library.”
“She should have either tried to soothe and calm her child, taken the child outside until they calmed down or found a sitter.” ~ No-Personality5421
“NTA. If that was her ‘trying her hardest’ then she shouldn’t have a child.”
“If I had a child, I would not be comfortable being out in public with it crying for that long.”
“It clearly needs something she is not giving it, nor even trying to figure out.” ~ Blake_Raven
“If mom is overwhelmed enough to shut down, which could definitely explain the situation, she’s in pretty desperate need of support.”
“Sitting in a library ignoring her screaming child for an hour is very dysfunctional for sure.”
“But there’s a tremendous lack of support for new parents, especially in the US.” ~ KaliTheBlaze
“It’s not the same as being in a book store, although the library I worked in most recently had a Starbucks inside so it was pretty close to being at a book store.”
“But, thankfully libraries that anticipate this much noise usually have some kind of silent study space.”
“That being said, it’s reasonable to expect some noise, not a baby crying for long periods of time.”
“Either way, the librarian should have addressed it way sooner.”
“I usually give people 3-5 minutes before a warning.” ~ Celestial_Unicorn_
“NTA. A library is meant to be a more quiet space than other public places.”
“A screaming child does not belong there.”
“She wasn’t doing her best.”
“She should have gone outside or some equally appropriate space to soothe her baby.”
“Not all public places are suitable for a screaming child.” ~ 4682458
“NTA. She should have been more cognizant of those around her.”
“Hell, my husband insisted on going out for breakfast with our newborn colicky son.”
“And after 2 minutes of screaming I left and took him to the car.”
“Other people exist and shouldn’t have to deal with a miserable breakfast just because I have a baby.” ~ Future-Jury8212
“Nothing is worse than a ‘How could you —— to a woman with a child?'”
“Having a kid with you doesn’t make you immune to basic courtesy to others and sure as hell doesn’t make you entitled to any special treatment. NTA.” ~ Crayon-eater0621
“NAH. It is reasonable to expect a library to be quiet (especially not for an hour straight screaming) and asking a librarian to get the noise down is reasonable.”
“This woman is clearly having a rough time and I am pretty sure has a colic baby.”
“Having a baby cry at you is incredibly stressful and if she could stop the crying she would as it is easier for everyone.”
“Her reaction is due to the stress she is under and probably also lack of sleep.”
“There is a good chance she has no support system and has to deal with being screamed at 10+ hours a day.”
“I don’t think anyone is an AH.”
“I think this woman is just under a tremendous amount of stress and it is not fair to judge her.”
“All parents have breakdowns and unfortunately she had one publicly.” ~ Beneficial-Tune-3382
“Agree on NAH.”
“Although I will say that libraries aren’t as quiet as they used to be because a lack of social services have forced public libraries to take on extra roles for the community.”
“Such as cooling centers during heat waves or after school safe spaces for teens.”
“Maybe that mom was trying to keep her baby cool rather than staying in an overheated apartment?”
“Agree the crying isn’t fair to the other patrons but I think it’s society’s fault that sometimes there aren’t other options.” ~ SisterEmJay
Well that is a lot to digest.
Reddit is with you OP.
You had to focus.
But this is also leading to another important conversation… “Childcare in America.”
Hopefully a resolution is possible.
Congrats on the A.