Pregnancy is difficult and every mom needs a break every now and then. However, the ultimate responsibility of a guardian is to take care of their children…not anyone else.
With family willing to help when is the line crossed?
For Redditor 69chevelle1 the line from being asked to help by his pregnant sister and being expected to parent for her had been crossed. The upset teen decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgement.
“AITA for telling my pregnant sister she is lazy and is lucky?”
The original poster (OP) went into detail about their own family conflict.
“I’m a 16(male) I have a sister who is 27 and has two kids. We are both staying at our mom’s house.”
“My mom works all the time just so we can get by, she’s a saint. Now my sister is the complete opposite of that, she’s staying at this house rent free and does no chores.”
“Since she doesn’t do chores and mom works all the time so I do the chores, yardwork and take care of her plants.”
”However in my sister’s defense she tried many times to get a job but failed every time. Now my sister is so lazy she can’t even watch her two kids so on top of all the work I do already I babysit her kids.”
“All she does is sit in our guest bedroom (next to my room) and sit on her phone all day.”
”One night I heard her talking on the phone talking bad about our mother for borrowing her Jeep when my mom’s car wouldn’t start once or twice. I didn’t say anything knowing my mom would kick her out for that.”
“Well yesterday I was cleaning the kitchen when she came in and asked me to make her kids a grilled cheese.”
”I was ticked off about that so I said ‘No!’ relatively loudly that startled her.”
“So I followed up with ‘You do nothing around the house I even take care of your kids, why do you have to be so lazy and you’re lucky you don’t pay rent or do chores. So starting today you’re taking care of your own kids’.”
“And I walked out the kitchen.”
“I later told my mom, she was relatively mad at her since she thought we where splitting the chores. I decided on not telling her about the bad talk.”
“My sister also stated later on that ‘I was an a**hole for saying that to a struggling pregnant lady’.”
“I feel bad for what I said so AITA?”
The OP asked Redditors to pass judgement by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA and why is she having another child when she can’t even provide a place to live, food to eat, or clothes because she doesn’t work? She doesn’t sound like an adult more like a child who needs to get their way all the time.”
”Let your mother know of the trash talk why does she deserve to be doing all the work while her daughter just hangs around all day and leeches off her. Also I really don’t like the whole thing about people saying they have tried and they just can’t get a job.”
”I find a lot of the time it is more that people aren’t willing to work just any job but want one that is more fitting of how they see themselves.”
“Let’s be honest fast food joints and big box stores like Walmart are always hiring yeah its not glamorous but its money at the end of the day.”~Livid_Huckleberry_28
“NTA Your sister sounds capable of helping. Unless she’s experiencing some sort of pregnancy related complication, she needs to suck it.”
“She’s got 2 kids that are depending on her and a 3rd on the way. She needs to get her priorities in order. Just saying.”~cpink1022
”NTA. This sound like a very one sided tale. But if it is all true, then I don’t think you are the a**hole for calling her out.”
“I do think there are better ways of having that conversation though.”
”Sit your mom and sister down and have a talk about how things should work around the house.”
“Not that it’s an excuse, but your sister is probably having a hard time, being alone with two kids, without a job and having to live at home at 27.”
“Hope you guys figure it out.”~Nuukfartjar
“NTA. You have zero responsibility to take care of HER children. If she doesn’t have another job, taking care of her kids IS her job.”
“You’re 16 and should be enjoying it. Split the chores and be upfront with your mom about what’s going on. She’s 27 and should know better.”
“She will continue to take advantage of you and your mom if you don’t continue to stand up for yourself.”~Kakers411
“NTA — but it sounds like your sister is depressed and has learned helplessness (possibly due to emotional abuse from this absent father to her children).”
“I would urge her to get into therapy ASAP.”~AlekonaKini
“NTA. She is using her pregnancy as a way to get out of doing everything and anything. She is lazy and needs to step up for the two kids she does have as well as the one on the way.”
“You need to tell your mother everything because your sister needs to be held responsible for it all.”~dollface120
After some comments OP decided to update everyone.
“To the people asking where the father is, he’s been absent during most of the kids life.”
“To the people who said let her get kicked out, I can’t do that not because of my sister but the kids. They’d be homeless with no food and I don’t want that for them.”
”Also I read some comments about mental health issues so I talked to my school counselor, who is currently registering us in family therapy. Thanks a lot Reddit.”
It looks like this teen found a way forward that could work for him and his sister. Hopefully better days are ahead.