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Teen Decides Not To Invite Aunt To Sweet 16 After Being Excluded From Her Child-Free Wedding

Girl blowing out candles on sweet 16 cake.
Vladimir Vladimirov/Getty Images

There’s no feeling worse than the feeling of being left out.

Learning about a party or gathering several of your friends were part of, but you were not.

Sometimes, there was no intentional exclusion, and the presence of the one with fear of missing out, or FOMO, would have been a welcome addition.

Unfortunately, some people have been known to go to great lengths to make sure certain people are not included in certain events.

Such was sadly the case for the daughter of Redditor AITA_Kids_Birthday, who was hurt and upset when she was not included in celebrating a major milestone of her aunt’s, with whom she was very. close.

As a result, when the original poster (OP)’s daughter had a major milestone of her own to celebrate, she made a pointed decision  to leave her aunt out as well.

A decision which, as one might expect, did not sit well with the aunt.

Worried about how she handled the matter, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA For Asking My Sister What She Expected After My Daughter Didn’t Invite To Her Birthday.”

The OP explained how after her daughter was excluded by her aunt, she made a point to deliberately turn the tables on her.

“My (32 F[emale]) daughter (16 F) grew up extremely close to my sister (23 F) because of how small the age gap between them is, and my sister got married in September.”

“However she decided to have a childfree wedding, and my daughter was not invited.”

“My daughter was extremely upset about this as my sister always talked about how important my daughter being at her wedding was going to be, and her wedding being childfree completely came out of left field.”

“Recently, my daughter’s 16th birthday past, and she decided to have a small party with me as well as her father and a couple of other close family and friends.”

“My sister wasn’t invited, and when she asked me what time she should show up I told her that my daughter was still upset about not being invited to one of her most important events.”

“My sister got upset, asking why I was letting my daughter punish her because she had her wedding how she wanted it.”

“I asked what she expected, knowing how close she and my daughter are and told her she should have known that my daughter would be upset about it.”

“My daughter had a blast at her party, and my sister is still being passive-aggressive towards me and husband.”

“I know it’s my daughter’s party, and it’s supposed to be about her, but my sister’s behavior is making me feel doubtful about my decision.”

“I did initially bring up that my daughter not being invited upset her, but my sister told me she wanted the freedom to go wild at her wedding and that my daughter would eventually get over it.”

“So, AITA?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for putting her sister in her place.

Everyone agreed that the OP’s sister was just bitter about getting a taste of her own medicine, which they also agreed was exactly what she deserved, particularly as she must have known how much being left out of the wedding would likely hurt her daughter.


“Your sister had no problem excluding your daughter from her wedding.”

“That hurt your daughter greatly because, in the language of actions, what truly matters, it screamed “You (daughter) aren’t as close to me as you thought you were.”

“So your daughter is rightfully refusing to have your sister at her birthday party.”

“She is 100% in the right.”

“It is her party, after all.”

“Your sister is being passive-aggressive because she doesn’t like feeling excluded.”

“Obviously, I have zero sympathy for her.”

“She started the whole thing.”- bmyst70


“Well done on supporting your daughter in this.”

“Your sister got to have the wedding she wanted, and that’s great for her, but her choices have consequences, and it’s not up to you to protect her from them.”- lukeiamyourfarther


“Your daughter was simply also having her party how she wanted.”

“Child-free weddings are fine to have, but clearly your daughter was hurt by this, and she is allowed to be, and her feelings are valid.”

“Your sister needs to recognize that her choice hurt your daughter.”- jrm1102


“Your daughter is 16, not 4.”

“Actions have consequences.”

“She has every right to be hurt by not being invited to your sister’s wedding.”

“Your sister had the wedding she wanted, and your daughter has the birthday party she wanted.”-YesPleaseDont


“And tell your sister your daughter won’t get over it.”

“I grew up within an extended family, and the cousins were all close.”

“We saw each other so the time.”

“When the oldest cousin got married, he and the now wife decided no one under 16 would be invited.”

“That left my younger sister and me as the only 2 (of 10) not invited.”

“I was devastated.”

“My father even offered to pay for our dinners, but they still said no.”

“I should mention they got married less than 1 month before my 16th birthday.”

“That was in 1973. I have seen both many times over the years, and every time either of them tried to talk with me, I walked away.”

“I refused to go to any events at their home.”

“At one point, he asked me what was wrong, and I simply said that since he didn’t think I was good enough to go to his wedding, I see no reason to speak with him now.”

“My parents thought I was terrible for not letting it go, but then they weren’t the one left out.”

“To this day, I clearly remember how hurt I was when I was told I wasn’t invited.”

“Do I really care now?”


“I haven’t cared about it for years.”

“Will I ever talk with them?”

“That would also be a no.”

“I just have no.need.”- Msmediator


“Most people don’t consider ‘childfree’ to include older teenagers, and many families make an exception for certain other family members, at least for the ceremony itself.”

“Unless your daughter is extremely immature, I don’t understand not inviting her, considering her age and their relationship.”

“She’s certainly mature enough to decide who she does and doesn’t want at her own birthday party anyway.”– Aetheria1


“Your sister got to decide how she wanted her wedding.”

“Your daughter gets to decide how she wants her party.”


“I hope your sister learns a lesson.”- Irrasible


“Your sister will eventually get over it.”- thistreestands


“If your daughter can ‘get over it’ then your sister can also ‘get over it.'”

“She has reached the ‘Find Out’ part of the story.”- Individual_Soft_9373


“Your sister received the consequences of her actions.”

“It’s like free speech, you’re allowed to say what you want to say, but that doesn’t mean there are no consequences for saying it.”- dublos

“NTA, she had her wedding how she wanted it; the daughter had her party how she wanted it.”

“That’s not punishment, just the golden rule “’treat other how you want to be treated.”-joeswastedtime


“Most people who want child-free weddings don’t want young children being disruptive.”

“A 16-year-old is not a ‘disruptive child’ and if they were close, to be considered a ‘child’ and excluded from the wedding would be INCREDIBLY hurtful.”

“Your daughter has every right to be hurt and not to want her aunt at her party.”

“If she’s too much of a ‘child’ to be at her aunt’s wedding, then her aunt should too much of an adult to pitch fits about not being invited to a ‘child’s’ party.”- MaggieMae68


“Looks like she is upset because your daughter had her birthday the way she wanted.”-t_gammatolerans


“Your daughter’s birthday IS about her.”

“If she doesn’t want someone to be at her party, then they aren’t invited.”

“How is a 16-year-old considered a child tho?”

“Q to your sister.”- greychu


“Your sister wanted her wedding how she wanted it.”

“Your daughter wanted her party how she wanted it.”

“What’s the problem?”- NickelmacGamer

“So your kid decided to have an AH-free birthday.”

“I’m sure your sister will get over it eventually.”

“Honestly, NTA.”- Existential_Turnip


“Tell your sister that your daughter wanted to have the party that she wanted and that she didn’t want anyone to ‘go wild.’”

“Also, tell your sister that she’ll get over it.”- SlappyHandstrong

Having no children at her wedding was a decision the OP’s sister had every right to make.

Even if it meant excluding her niece.

Even if she can’t exactly have a redo of her wedding, one can only hope she’ll give due consideration as to how to make amends.

Now that she knows how it felt to be left out of celebrating with the ones you love.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.