No political administration is totally perfect, and there are going to be repercussions to the actions and plans of every political party.
Though we know that, there are some administrations that are much more devastating to navigate, especially when there are serious issues with the economy as a result of that administration's choices, pointed out the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Solar_Electrician grew a successful electrical contracting business that he was proud of, but because of the Trump Administration's new policies, he was struggling not to have to close his business.
Feeling betrayed, the Original Poster (OP) did not want to stay connected with people who voted for President Trump, which unfortunately included his parents.
He asked the sub:
"AITAH for refusing to speak to my parents because they support Trump, whose policies cost me my business?"
The OP's business was impacted by the Trump Administration.
"I (40 Male) have owned and managed an electrical contracting company specializing in solar for the last seven years."
"I worked my a** off to build a profitable company with integrity. Things were going great, and I could see a reasonably short runway to retirement or semi-retirement."
"Then Trump took away all incentives for renewables and replaced them with tax breaks for fossil fuels."
"I am now in the process of selling my business, and taking a position working for a large company, and making less."
"I bootstrapped to get here. They don't deserve any of my success. I'll be fine, but if they want to be a part of my demise, then why should I participate?"
"I've run a successful business for the last seven years. Part of that was predicated on a business environment that was predictable. Under Trump, nothing has been predictable. The subsidies that I spoke of had a natural expiration date. Trump threw that out the window and moved the expiration date up five years or more."
"Same thing with the tariffs, nobody can predict anything anymore. It's obvious you are not a business owner, or you would understand the perils of trying to operate in this environment."
It especially hurt the OP that his parents had voted for President Donald Trump.
"My parents don't seem to understand that their decision to vote for Trump and his ilk has directly impacted my life in an extremely negative way."
"My view is that they literally voted for a tax break for themselves over the interests of their children. And they will die with money, so I don't understand their voracious obsession with avoiding taxes. All the children would be fine without inheritance, too, so there's no argument for avoiding taxes for the children's benefit."
"It's blind loyalty. The inability to reflect upon this blind loyalty is what has caused me to want to disconnect."
"Am I wrong for telling them I don't want to speak with them until they can at least acknowledge the harm they have caused me?"
"They're still my parents. I still love them. It's just rough when your mother cries because she has to lie in the bed she's made."
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were similarly impacted in the way the OP and his business were.
"The project I'm working on, we were about to buy some specialist tools from a company in the United States. I was there in April organising the purchase and ensuring compliance."
"The company informs me of a price increase due to tariffs that they must pass on to us. The end result was that the increase in costs made the opposition's machine from Germany a cheaper option."
"The client cancelled the order with the company in the States, and on Monday, I'm going to Germany." - kamakarmakamkam
"MAGAs want people they don't like to get screwed. If someone they like gets screwed, or if they get screwed, they figure that's a fair trade for the people they don't like getting screwed."
"Some strawberry farmers in Florida are cutting back on how much they are going to plant this fall. The reason is that due to deportations, they won't have enough labor to harvest a full crop."
"They want a deportation exception for the workers they need, but to h**l with what anyone else needs. But get it or not, they still support Trump." - Organic-Baker-4156
"So there was a conversation recently I was a part of on Facebook about how people we consider stupid might not be stupid, they just might not have access to resources. Specifically, when we are talking about the reading comprehension in the United States, which is abysmally low; the argument was this is not a good indicator of intelligence or lack of."
"I disagreed. In 2025, you have access to resources, but you have to WANT them. No one is going to spoon-feed the resources to you; you have to have the hunger for knowledge, which is a part of intelligence, and frankly, a significant portion of people in this country do not. They are perfectly fine believing whatever they are told and doing absolutely zero research or critical thinking."
"Way back in 2017, when 'The Handmaid's Tale' first came on, as a woman, I told a friend I was terrified while watching it. It just filled me with a sense of dread. She absolutely couldn't relate and just saw it as a fantasy."
"So to answer your question... no, people do not make the connections. They are seeing what they want to see, or rather NOT seeing what they DON'T want to see. A significant number of people in the US can't even tell you what year WW2 started or why." - deennevee
"It's wild how consistent that is, no matter what happens, they'll never pin it on Trump. Seen the same with people I know in solar getting crushed and their families still acting like it's unrelated."
"It's literally just people trying to save face or put off the realisation that they are exactly the thoughtless, ignorant fools they've been accusing everyone around them of being for about a decade."
"It's honestly why I think there's no fixing this beyond America having to seriously confront this problem, like probably militarily, followed by a full-on post-WW2 deprogramming effort and actually implementing a functional education system again... Legit, I don't see how else you actually solve this problem, like solve solve, not just allowing it to recede into the background again."
"None of the types of people that support Trump are the types to be able to recognise they are being and have been misled, let alone be able to own it and learn from it... It's the same logic as an old person trying to hide the fact that they've been scammed out of shame. No one likes to admit they've fallen for a scam."
"Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but I really believe this is the case for the majority." - kristamine14
"One of my old former friends voted for Trump... The problem is, he works in the wind turbine industry. Oddly enough, he's not getting any work projects anymore. I'm not gonna rub it in his face, but I can't imagine how you could vote for someone who literally said he'd take your job away and then be surprised it went away."
"My dad's neighbor has a special needs child. They voted for Trump, and because of cuts in the Department of Education, the local school had to let some people go... one of which was the special education teacher. Now they don't know how they'll be able to pay for their son to get any sort of education because they'll have to pay out of pocket."
"My neighbor took in foster kids who couldn't stay with their parents full-time. They voted for Trump. Guess who isn't getting a tax break for doing that anymore? My neighbors' biological kids are devastated because they considered the foster kids to be like their brother and sister, and now they're gone and likely in a worse spot."
"I seriously could go on and on about stories like these that I know, but what's the point? If you're too dumb to vote against your own interests, then I'm not sure how to help you." - bardeg
Others empathized with the OP and understood why he didn't want to speak to his parents.
"Here lies the problem. Lots of people on that side are claiming they want to come together because they are losing friends and people they allegedly care about. But they have this sentiment still where they don't see or acknowledge the harm that their vote and their president cause."
"They refuse to blame him for anything after years of blaming Obama or Biden or Clinton or Harris for everything. They want to return to how things were without having to say, 'Hey, my bad. I was wrong and I f**ked up.'"
"Honestly, this must be the first time that their feet are being held to the fire this way." - TheListlessPancake
"Let them know their long-term care options have been significantly downgraded." - matunos
"I mean, they voted for Trump. They'll probably just tell OP to pull himself up by his bootstraps and make sacrifices for family. Think about all the things they've done for him, he owes them, etc."
"I'd keep them out of my life if it were me." - Svihelen
"NTA. It isn't like this is a surprise result from this administration. They knew what they voted for." - The_Bad_Agent
"NTA. Had. Similar conversation with my Trumpy parents: My husband, working in healthcare tech affected by the ACA, lost his job, my company (along with a crap ton of other SaaS companies) is struggling with market uncertainty. They are concerned but don't seem to understand the effect this regime is having on business." - MissMallory25
The subReddit understood what the OP was going through and the pains he was experiencing of watching his business fall apart in front of him. At the same time, people who were supposed to love him directly did something that contributed to that downfall.
Though there's still time for people to learn from their political actions, that does not necessarily mean that all of the consequences, like businesses closing, can be resolved, or that these relationships will be able to bounce back.
Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Hold Grudge After Mom Told Her When She 8 Years Old That She Wished She'd Aborted Her
While some people view having and raising children as the greatest blessing, some parents hold their children's existence against them for their entire lives.
And when they feel that way about their children, they're unfortunately typically pretty honest about it, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor heavelymango knew from the time she was young that her mother did not really like her and significantly favored her sister.
But when her mother told her at the age of eight that she wished she had aborted her, the Original Poster (OP) held on to that grudge for years after the fact.
She asked the sub:
The OP had a grudge against her mother.
"I (22 Female) have been holding onto a grudge due to something my mom told me when I was roughly eight or nine years old."
"Growing up, I was a rebellious kid and always felt as if my mom favored my older sister. My sister would always get whatever she wanted."
"I know she was born with Down syndrome and always needed more attention and care, but if my sister wanted my tablet, for example, she would have it for the whole day while mine was limited to 30 minutes so she could have it."
"As a kid, I lashed out more because of this. She could take all of my things, but I could never use hers."
During a heated moment, the OP's mother said something unforgivable.
"Eventually, this led to an argument with my mom. I don't recall the whole thing, but it was related to my sister and how I felt my mom didn't care about me or give me the same amount of attention."
"The fight got heated, and I probably told my mom that I hated my sister and her."
"I remember she said back, 'I never wanted you from the start. I knew I should've aborted you when I had the chance.'"
" I didn't know what aborted meant at the time, and I remember I looked it up, and it made me cry. I never forgot it, and it lingers in my mind whenever I am home."
The OP's mother pressured her to "let it go" and move on.
"Even growing up, I still brought it up, and she would get mad, saying I need to let it go and how I'm stubborn for not just forgetting what she said."
"There was even a time in high school when she took me to a therapist, and she complained about how I never dropped what she said."
"She says I need to move on from it because it has affected my relationship with her, and she wants to fix it."
"I know I'm older now and it was so long ago, but it still hurts, and I feel like it's made me not want to have her in my life in the future, and I have told this to her."
"How I don't want her in my life once I move out, get married, or have my own kids."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that this sounded like a core memory more than a grudge.
"The axe forgets. The tree remembers."
"It sounds less like you're holding a grudge and more that this is a formative, core memory for you."
"It won't stop being a core memory (unless maybe with the help of a lot of therapy). Has your mom ever apologized for saying that? Because you don't have to forget to forgive, but if she's not remorseful for saying that terrible thing to her young child (not just remorseful that you remember it), then she probably needs therapy (or is a narcissist/sociopath/similar)."
"You are certainly not obligated to 'get over it.'" - Hot-Can3615
"This is not a 'grudge'; it is pain that is still felt to such a degree. If she said it, then she was thinking it. She'll probably never apologize, but that doesn't mean your pain is or was invalid." - Fast_Register_9480
"NOR. This kind of thing needs a real apology. Like she needs to acknowledge the damage and genuinely care about it. Brushing it off won’t make it go away." - TentacleWolverine
"NOR. Did she really want to fix things? She basically just told you to get over it from the start instead of giving you a sincere apology."
"That isn't working on anything. She wants you to get over it so she can pretend that she never said it, so she doesn't have to feel bad about what she did. It doesn't sound like she cares much about how you feel."
"She just doesn't want to deal with it. For that reason, I would still have issues with what she said." - Chemical-Ad6809
"If your relationship with your mother is being affected by the actions of your mother, your mother is responsible for fixing it."
"You should know you probably aren't ever going to get closure, but you don't have to swallow it down. It helps to be the person you needed when you were younger out loud to yourself, but especially to others."
"For example: My name is Liz, and my mom told me to go ahead and do it already and save us all the heartache when I finally had the courage to tell her about how much I've been struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation. I'm never going to forgive her for that, and we have never been close as a result of her actions."
"You aren't holding onto a grudge; you have a core memory of your mother distilling her feelings into a world-shattering sentence."
"You did not have a secure attachment before and can't have one now because of the deep trauma. You do not apologize for being stabbed."
"Find another therapist. I mean it. Someone who cares about your well-being wouldn't force you to apologize for being verbally abused as a child. I'm 29 now, and I lived through it. I still struggle with suicidal ideation daily, but once I stopped relying on my mom and unstable sources for support, my life got better immediately."
"You want things for comfort and familiarity. Don't let your mom or your therapist gaslight you into crossing a boundary."
"It might help to ask for a written five-part apology from your mom. 1. Acknowledge what you did 2. Say why it was wrong 3. Promise not to do it again 4. Ask how to make amends. 5. Share your feelings at this time if there's anything you'd like to say."
"My mom can be a good person and a bad mom and role model. Being in your own company is so much better than poor company." - PotLuckyPodcast
Others hoped the OP would go no contact with her mother sooner rather than later.
"NOR. It’s emotional abuse. And you do not owe her closeness after that, especially as she refuses to be accountable for that and try to make it up to you."
"She knows you have her number, and she can’t forgive you for knowing what a colloidal b***h she is."
"It’s unlikely that will change; it will at least be turned back on you with her the victim."
"Stop expecting her to apologize. If she doesn’t pay your bills, ghost her." - SnooCheesecakes2723
"My mom said something similar. My brother and I were adopted, and when I was a teen, in front of a church lady, she said, 'We didn't even really want you, but the people didn't want to split y'all up, so we just took you, too.'"
"Me and the church lady were shook. When I say my falbbers were ghasted. Like huh? She didn't remember saying that when I brought it up years after the fact."
"I also got grounded two times for two separate nine weeks (for C's on my report card) and a three and a half to four months (for smoking at 16 and getting caught because she liked to just pop up out of nowhere), and we just had a talk about that, and she didn't even remember."
"She said, 'No, I didn't. I never grounded you for that long,' and when I gave my rebuttal, she said, 'Well, if I did, it definitely wasn't for no nine weeks or months,' and this started because she was praising me for reading so much and liking books. I said, 'Well, when you were grounded like me, that's all I could do (no TV, no friends outside of school, no music, nothing but my room and books)."
"There's a reason I only call or answer her calls once or twice every few weeks. And I only call to get food, really..." - ManicalMoe
"‘Fine, I'm sorry’ is not an apology."
"Whilst I’m sure it was said in anger, most things said in anger have a grain of truth. There are also some things that no half-decent parent ever says to their children, no matter how angry they are, and this is one of them! It also sounds like she has made repeated similar comments of not wanting you as her child."
"I understand her eldest had a disability, but this is no excuse for neglecting and emotionally abusing her younger child. Lots of families deal with a child with additional needs whilst still managing to prioritise their other kids. Children with Down syndrome are capable of understanding ‘that’s your sister's, not yours; give it back’ !! It sounds like your mum has mental health issues?"
"Do you have a present father or other family you can turn to?"
"Protect your peace. Your mum has hurt you time and time again, honestly, for no real gain other than momentarily satisfying her anger. You owe this woman nothing." - Background_Term9810
"I went through something similar. When I was a little girl, my mother used to make comments that implied she didn't want me, though it was never that explicit. 'I only had you because your brother wanted a sister,' and 'My figure never recovered after you; after your brother, it did.'"
"Each comment stayed with me, but I never addressed it with her. I tried to move on and leave it in the past. She did a lot of horrible things throughout my life, but her behavior was always ignored because that's the precedent my dad set, where she can do essentially whatever she wants."
"A few months ago, she came to see me because I was desperate for help and sick. Instead of helping, she made my life so much worse. I won't go into details. At one point, I could no longer keep it inside, and I told her that she is a narcissist, to which she responded with, 'It would have been better if I had never had you.'"
"In some ways, it felt really good to hear her come out and say it. It felt good to hear the truth I've always known."
"I don't know what you should do, but I've chosen to not forgive."
"Every time I forgave, I just let her know that she can get away with whatever horrible things she had done. Her apologies were never real apologies. She always found ways to blame me or others for whatever she had done."
"And I'm truly just done with it. As sad as it is to not have a mom, it's sadder to pretend that you have one when in reality you don't... quite the opposite, if anything." - Neos_Mom
"So, OP, what will hurt more: keeping her and the grudge in your life or making a break and going low or no contact with her?"
"Frankly, we've no idea of what she might have been dealing with at the time, but regardless, what she said was said only to cause pain and suffering. 'Sorry' doesn't magic that intent away."
"Me, I think spending time alone or with friends or in therapy away from her might be what you need here. You might come to some sort of acceptance, but if this is something that's just going to keep coming between you, then stop trying to have that relationship." - Tal_Tos_72
After the OP received feedback, she shared a few clarifications from her original post.
"I wanted to clear some things up, take accountability where it's due, and provide some much-needed context from many people commenting the same questions."
"I want to be completely honest. We had many arguments, and I was a rebellious kid. I acted out and argued with my mom."
"I don't want to give off the impression that I was an entirely innocent kid who never did anything wrong and my mom just snapped out of nowhere. We both said hateful and hurtful things to each other during our fights."
"Growing up, the only way she would accept an apology was if I got on my knees and begged her for forgiveness. If I ever asked her to apologize to me, she would say, 'I have nothing to apologize for; you should be the one begging for my forgiveness.'"
The OP had a lot of physical memories, too.
"Things also would turn into physical arguments, not just verbal ones."
"There were times when she would get so angry she would get physical. Like yanking me by my hair, twisting my arms, or throwing things at me (like remotes, a bug spray can, or a radio)."
"When she yanked my hair, I would fight back just to get her to let me go, and she would scream that I was trying to kill her and she would get me arrested. When she twisted my arm, and I begged her to stop because it felt like it was going to break, she would say she hoped it did."
"When she threw objects at me, she would say she wished they would hit my face."
"I remember in middle school, during an argument, she said she wished she could break my face and that she hated it because I look like my dad. I won’t lie, whenever she said things like that, I would say nasty comments about how she chose to have him put us in her."
While the OP wasn't financially ready to move out yet, she hoped to as soon as possible.
"Why haven't I moved out yet? The main reason I haven't been able to move out is financial."
"I wasn't making enough to support myself without worrying about whether I’d end up having to crawl back home."
"Thankfully, I have recently found a better-paying job. My plan is to move out between mid-to-late October, or early November at the latest."
"The only reason I can't leave this exact second is because I have a few legal/administrative things to get cleared up so I’m completely untied from my mom, which will take a few weeks."
The OP also had proof that her mother liked her sister better.
"Has my mom ever admitted to favoring my sister? Yes."
"In arguments, she has explicitly told me that she doesn't see me as her legitimate daughter, and that she adored my sister more and forever will. She has also called me a 'monster,' told me there is a certain type of evil inside of me, and said she was afraid I would be just like my dad and try to harm them."
"She would even tell me that she was telling family and friends these things about me, but then later claim she 'just said it in the moment' and wouldn't be crazy enough to actually tell people that."
"Because I was so confused growing up and didn't know if she was lying or telling the truth, I started avoiding our family when they came over."
"Naturally, that just made things worse because she would get mad at me for avoiding them (even now as an adult), completely ignoring the fact that she was the one who lied about what she told them."
Unfortunately, the OP didn't have support from her father.
"What about my dad? My dad is not in my life."
"He was around sporadically, but never as a stable parent. My parents separated before I was born and divorced when I was two or three."
"Growing up, it was just constant back-and-forth toxicity, with him telling me how toxic my mother was, and her telling me the same about him."
"He would mostly only come over to see my sister, and often used me to care for her if he wanted to take her out to eat. Ultimately, my dad didn't care about anyone else other than my sister (and his drugs)."
"I hope this can clear some questions on the original post. I know I didn't provide many details as I originally should have. I honestly didn't want to post something too long, and I honestly did not expect it to be noticed."
"Thank you all for taking time to talk to me and share your thoughts."
The subReddit fully sided with the OP, pointing out that no matter how heated the moment was, it would never excuse the terrible things the OP's mother had said to her.
If the OP's mother really wanted a relationship with her, she'd drop the defensiveness and demands, offer a genuine apology, and work hard to be better for both of her children.
That takes a very rare kind of person to pull off, and it didn't sound like the OP's mother had that in her.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp