Every family dynamic is different. Many households function under prescribed roles or expectations.
However, when siblings become adults they are usually able to choose for themselves.
Redditor AITATJREWAWH recently found themself in a heated situation with their brother and parents when visiting home. After becoming angry at the family’s actions they turned to the subReddit “Am I the Asshole” (AITA) to see if their response went too far.
“AITA for sabotaging my little brother’s food on purpose?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My little brother is 18. I’m 20. I am staying with my family for the holidays and thought it’d be a nice time but I forgot that they treat me like a housekeeper.”
”I do almost all the chores and I don’t mind if its MY chore. Obviously, if I notice the dishwashers full, I empty it.”
“If I cook, I clean up. If I make a mess, I clean up.”
”However, if my little brother makes a mess, he makes me clean up. If I refuse and tell him to do it himself, he tells my parents and they side with him and just bug me until I do it. My brother also asks me to cook for him.”
“He pulls out brownie mix and is like ‘make this.’ I always am like: ‘Sure, I can make it but you have to help.’ He gets mad and says ‘I helped by taking out the box!’”
”And when I refused to make stuff for him or tell him to make it himself, he’ll throw a fit and tell our parents.
Lately, he keeps asking me to make stuff and I get frustrated going back and forth about why can’t he make sh*t himself or just ask our parents.”
”So I make the food he asks, but I always add stuff he doesn’t like (coincidentally, he hates a ton of stuff I love to eat ).”
“So if he asks for brownies and refuses to help, I put nuts in it. He hates them and I like them.”
”He came over to see the brownies and got mad at me and told me he hated nuts and can’t eat the brownies anymore. I just said, ‘too bad, make it yourself next time or help me and tell me not to put nuts in’.”
“I thought he’d learn his lesson to at least help but he keeps asking for stuff and I just keep putting stuff in that he doesn’t like.”
“He finally got fed up and said he’s not eating because I keep making stuff with stuff he doesn’t like. I just shrugged and told him to make his own food then.”
“He told my parents of course and they just told me to stop being an a**hole and make food for him.”
”It was my last day at home so I just told them to make food for him if they’re so concerned before I left.”
“Now my parents are upset with me and my brother is angry with me and I am wondering if I was too petty.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Reddit decided OP was NTA, in fact, Redditors had zero sympathy for their brother’s behavior.
“NTA and sounds like your parents are enabling your brother. Don’t come over again until they agree to stop coddling him and know that he in no way is YOUR grown son, he’s theirs.”
“If they want to make food for him, they can.”
”If he makes a mess – it’s their responsibility to clean it if he won’t. You are encouraging it by complying.”
“Just say NO. If your parents nag you about it- say he’s not your kid.”
“Stick to your guns – what will they do? Kick you out? You don’t live there.”~Jackniferuby
”NTA, when I was reading I thought your brother was like 5 then I went back and realized he was 18!???? Thank God you’re out of there.”~Santingold23
”NTA unfortunately many boys and men are not raised to take care of themselves. There are always excuses thrown around by the parents.”
“Even if they can’t cook (I have friends who have almost burnt down the kitchen trying to boil pasta) they should atleast know how to do some chores like cleaning, or laundry.”~Zafjaf
“It sounds like your parents have really different standards for the two of you and much higher expectations on you – I’m guessing this is gender-based, though you didn’t mention. Anyway I think this is hilarious, and you should consider putting it in r/maliciouscompliance.”
”Your brother is legally an adult and certainly old enough to handle making a box of brownie mix, and he’s way past the point where he can stand to learn that if he wants something done a certain way, he can do it himself. NTA and well played.”~Doris_Useless
“NTA. Reading the title I was thinking otherwise, because you just don’t f*ck with someone’s food, but you are not the a**hole at all. Your brother is an entitled little brat who should be more than capable of making food for himself at his age.”
“You know what’s in the food and so does he, he just chooses not to eat it. Honestly you should make it a rule with your parents going forward that you will not be coming to their house anymore unless they make it clear you will not be expected to cook for your brother.”~TogarSucks
We hope OP found a more permanent solution to their family conflict.