Flying can be a stressful situation for many people.
And in this day and age it seems to be even more volatile than ever.
But when the time comes for one to speak, one must speak.
Even though it may ruffle some feathers.
Right?
Case in point…
Redditor engagementhelp_ wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for offending a plus sized person and possibly body shaming them?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I was taking a long flight (8 hours) last week.”
“I boarded the plane and took my seat.”
“Soon a woman came and took her seat next to me.”
“Now I am all for body positivity (everyone is beautiful) and I do not mean any offense when I say this woman was… extremely large.”
“I’m quite a small person and I was a little nervous about sitting next to her but of course I didn’t want to assume anything negative and hoped for the best.”
“As soon as she sat down I realized this arrangement wasn’t going to work.”
“The seat clearly couldn’t accommodate her size and she was spilling out on both the aisle side and onto my seat.”
“When the flight attendant asked us to put down our arm rests I literally couldn’t do it.”
“The woman didn’t seem at all bothered by this.”
“Immediately after take off she starts muttering about how warm she was and I quickly noticed she was becoming increasingly sweaty.”
“Half her body was pressing into me and I could feel the sweat building up on the fabric of her clothes and where our arms were squished together.”
“When the food trolley came around she moved even further into my space to make way and allow it to go down the aisle.”
“Once it had passed us she didn’t move back.”
“At this point I was incredibly claustrophobic and on the verge of a panic attack.”
“I cannot stress enough how little of my own seat I was occupying.”
“I tried to be polite when I asked her if there was any way she could give me a little bit more space as I am a little overwhelmed with the flight and how close together we were.”
“She immediately grew defensive and told me I should have booked an extra seat if I wanted more space.”
“At this point I was totally overwhelmed and starting to hyperventilate and still she wasn’t making any attempt to move.”
“I looked at her and told her I didn’t need extra space- I only needed the entirety of the space that I paid for.”
“She still didn’t get the hint and called me entitled and told me to take it up with the airline when we land and to suck it up ‘like the rest of us’ until then.”
“I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t even get out of my seat to stretch because she was in the aisle seat and wouldn’t budge.”
“Eventually I asked an air hostess if there were any other seats available.”
“The woman immediately started crying and told the air hostess I had been body shaming her the whole flight.”
“I felt terrible- I didn’t mean to cause offense and I really didn’t feel I had any choice but I definitely could have been more patient.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. I went into this post a bit hesitant since I am a larger woman myself, but it seems like she got really defensive for no reason.”
“You tried your best to be polite and you were being moved out of your own seat.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it.” ~ Tall_Specter
“You’re definitely NTA.”
“I am a plus-size woman and do my best to scoot as far away from the person I’m sitting next to on a plane just so they’re comfortable sitting next to someone like me.”
“Don’t be afraid to speak up earlier if this happens again.”
“You shouldn’t have to be subjected to someone invading the space you paid for.” ~ kmonpark
“She reached AH territory when she told YOU you should have bought an extra seat.”
“Airlines are trash, the seats are too small, they don’t sit families together which also causes issues for innocent bystanders.”
“But this person was seriously projecting.”
“She tried to pretend you were the problem when the order of problems goes…”
“1.The seats are too small and…”
“2. She is well above average size.”
“You were not the problem at all. NTA.” ~ NancyNuggets
Our Redditor was grateful…
“Thank you!”
“I really think plus sized people deserve comfort on flights.”
“But not when it causes my space to be uninhabitable.”
Reddit continued…
“NTA She weaponized her fatness.”
“She is used to being called out for her weight and lack of consideration and she has a plan.”
“I am chuckling at the nerve of telling you to order two seats if you wanted space when she is the one who needed two seats.”
“I know you didn’t find it funny.” ~ Irish_beast
“NTA. If someone does not fit into one airplane seat, it is their responsibility to purchase a second one, not the responsibility of the other people on the flight who fit their seats.”
“Should airplane seats be larger? Probably!”
“That doesn’t mean that you were in the wrong to request the space that you paid for and were entitled to.” ~ step_on_me_mommy_vi
OP updates a bit more…
“Funny enough the lady insisted on being the one to physically move in the end.”
“The flight attendant told me there was another seat further up the plane and the woman immediately said she couldn’t stand to be near me anymore and got up to go to the new seat.”
“I don’t really know why she did that because we were going to be separated anyway but I didn’t care.”
“It was a little odd but I was just relieved she was moving away from me.”
Reddit had more to say…
“You handled this well.”
“Honestly I would have said something as soon as she touched me.”
“Even as a neurotypical, somebody I don’t know slightly touching me makes me want to break something of theirs (talking about bones here).”
“The woman, overweight or not, should have apologised and moved as soon as her skin touched yours.”
“Besides, there’s a pandemic. NTA.” ~ polly-adler
“NTA. The deal breaker is when the armrest wouldn’t go down.”
“At that point, she is stealing your space.”
“If she cannot fit into the seat with the armrest down, then she is required to find an accommodation, either buying an additional seat or moving to a seat with more space, such as first or business class.”
“Is that poor on the part of the airlines for cramming people into small seats?”
“Absolutely, but that’s not your fault or responsibility.”
“The armrest should stay down, don’t allow anyone to put it up. Ever.” ~ Fast_eddi3
“NTA. Your comments were triggering for this woman because she knew that her size was the cause of her discomfort.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“As someone who has struggled with her weight issues on and off for years I know how hard it is to lose weight.”
“And how painful it is when something as simple as sitting next to someone on a plane is hard to do just because you’re overweight.”
“That’s something this woman needs to work out internally but you’re not responsible for how she was feeling in that moment.” ~ Mother_Tradition_774
“NTA. ‘I only want the entirety of the space that I paid for’ was an excellent and very fair point.”
“I can understand that it must be expensive and a little embarrassing to have to buy two seats as a bigger person and that’s sh**ty.”
“But it’s not fair to you either and I think you were very polite given the situation.”
“8 hours is an uncomfortably long time to be on a plane anyways without being smushed against the wall by the person next to you.” ~ CumulativeHazard
“NTA. Biggest a**hole: the airline.”
“For trying to pack in people like sardines so it’s at best mildy uncomfortable for the smallest people and increasingly uncomfortable for people larger in any direction.”
“2nd a**hole: the woman.”
“You weren’t shaming her for her weight.”
“You were voicing how uncomfortable you were from her invading your space.”
“She mentions buying an extra seat if you want more space.”
“Well there’s wanting more spacing and needing more space.”
“She needs more space. No shame there. It’s just a fact.”
“By her not buying an extra seat guaranteeing she has enough space, she’s invading your space and essentially stealing from you.” ~ Own_Purchase1388
“NTA- telling people to get out of your paid space is not body shaming.”
“My dad is morbidly obese and a frequent flier for work but we’ve never had a problem like this.”
“Bigger folk should take the comfort of other people into consideration.” ~ Charliescenesweenie4
Don’t feel bad OP.
You had to stand up for yourself.
Reddit is with you on this.
Everyone deserves the room they paid for.
Happy flying next time.