Kids can complicate many things.
As much as everybody loves a cute kid.
They tend to come with some baggage.
Sometimes adults just want to have a get together with other adults.
Hence the kid complication once friends start procreating.
Case in point…
Redditor Permenantdirtnap wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“WIBTA if I made my eighteenth birthday child free?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Some context: I’m (17 F[emale]) and my eighteenth birthday is coming up it is a very big birthday to celebrate in Australia.”
“It is my first one in eight years as I was a loner when I had to move away with my abusive dad and this is a celebration of me escaping him as well.”
“So my birthday is being held in a bar with my step mum, who is paying for the whole venue.”
“I am so thankful to her because I wouldn’t be able to have a party without her.”
“So there is a cap of 32 people.”
“I live with my aunt and uncle and I have quite a large family on my mum’s side and of course my family/friends, partners are being invited.”
“My problem is my cousin (28 F) and her daughter (29 M[ale]).”
“They have four kids under six (F 7), (M 5), (F 4) and (F 2).”
“I have five reasons about my party that makes me believe that it would be better to not have kids there.”
“The party I’m having will be going late into the night… 12pm.”
“The kiddos need to be in bed by eight.”
“Usually as the younger ones get tired and throw tantrums i.e. screaming, crying.”
“I don’t want that at my party as it’s disruptive since there will be games and slideshows.”
“The theme is also euphoria.”
“So there will be some skimpy outfits.”
“(M 5) has autism so he has sensory issues with food and will only eat beige fast foods such as chicken strips.”
“I am making all the finger foods to save money and the kids only like nuggets.”
“The party is at a bar so they’d be bored as there is no playground or internet for them to be entertained.”
“And they usually end up roughhousing if bored.”
“My final but biggest deal breaker is the 32 person cap.””I have quite a lot of important people coming.”
“Nearly everyone on my mum’s side of the family, friends plus their partners.”
“If I let the kids come it means I loose four spots on my list and it would mean some people important to me wouldn’t be able to come.”
“And I’d be heart broken about it since everyone is excited about my eighteenth.”
“As it’s the first party where they can all attend.”
“My nan and sister support it being childfree as it don’t believe it’s an appropriate event for kids.”
“So WIBTA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. The fact that it is being HELD IN A BAR should automatically make it R18.”
“No to who brings their ankle biters to a shut up?
“Tell your cuz the bar owner said it has to be grommet free – end of discussion.”
“If she spits the dummy tell her to suck on a sav.”
(Translation available for non – Aussies & Kiwis upon request.)
“I’m a Kiwi, but I’m fluent in Strine.” ~ SnargCollector
“For context it works different in Australia.”
“Night clubs are one things but you can take your kids to the bar, most serve food and have to if kids are allowed.”
“It’s not separated like Canada and US, it’s how their food service and alchohol laws work down here.”
“We go with our kid all the time, but if it’s later or more of a club they won’t serve food so no kids.”
“She is at such a place where kids are allowed but wants a kid up running late.” ~ Rootasaurus
“I think less now than it used to be.”
“But I remember every Friday night hanging out with my dad in his local having some cola.”
“Or I’m bru whilst the bar maid kept giving me sweeties and crisps telling my dad to shut up when I got in trouble for crunching the ice, very common back in the 90s/early 2000s.”
“NTA OP, your birthday, your decision but a 18th birthday party in my opinion is NOT a place for children.”
“And if your cousin doesn’t like it, tough luck not her party, not her decision.” ~ Sufficient-Demand-23
“NTA… but I am learning Aussie because I want to understand a co worker better, so tell me if I got the translation right?
“The fact that it is in a bar makes it automatically 18 and older.”
“Besides, who brings their brats to a beer joint?”
“Tell your cousin that the bar owner said that it has to be kid free.”
“If she gets *itchy about it, tell her to kiss your a**.”
“How’d I do?” ~ justcallmephil35
“NTA in fact, if you let them you will be an a**hole.”
“If this is a normal Aussie 18th Birthday then there is no f**king way small children should be there unless at least one parent isn’t drinking, which I doubt they will.”
“This isn’t a family get together at a house with casual drinking.”
“This is a ‘get so trashed we may throw up’ event.”
“Even if you don’t plan to, your friends might.”
“It’s not ok at all for them to come.”
“Just be prepared for your cousin to not come if she doesn’t want to leave them yet.”
“She won’t be an asshole for that.”
“Have fun, and don’t stress about this.”
“Put your boundary in place and if she asks why mention you’ll have adults drinking heaps who may be strangers to them around so it’s not safe.”
“Which is the truth, they’re not strangers to you but might be to them.”
“Plus no 18 year old wants to have toddlers at a bar party anyway.” ~ BabyCake2004NTA.
“Your 18th is about boozing it up.”
“It’s not a family party.”
“Talk to your cousin and ask what they’d prefer to do with the kids.”
“Based on the limited numbers – are they both coming, or is someone staying home, or would they prefer to just do lunch/dinner sometime instead.” ~ Lenaballerina
“NTA. Just tell guests there is very limited room and it will be a late night party.”
“Maybe offer to spend some time hanging out with the little ones a few days before or after.”
“I have a small child myself and anything after 8:30 is a no go to take her to.” ~ ExoticWallflower
“NTA. As this event is being held at a bar with nothing fun for the kids to do, it would be better for them not to attend.”
“Politely inform your cousin that due to the choice of venue and with the given restriction of the amount of people allowed to attend, that the kids attending isn’t possible or even plausible.”
“But maybe also organize something small that includes the kids for an upcoming weekend or something?” ~ Dandelionesssssss
“NTA – when you’re planning it comes with a written list of who you want to invite.”
“And if they try and say it’s not fair, politely but firmly tell them it’s your party and you want these people to come.”
“If your stepmum tells you you need to invite your cousins then say you would need a bigger venue because you won’t budge on your guest list.”
“You’re ok with the cap as long as the people you want come.”
“If they want more people to come then they need to cough up for a larger venue.” ~ manofmatt
“NTA. It’s your birthday party, at a bar, at midnight.”
“I would make it clear though that you’re trying to exclude the children and not their parents.”
“Because it’s only your cousin and their spouse, I would just have a conversation with them explaining why you’re making the party child free and emphasizing that you still want them to come if they can find a babysitter etc.”
“If they get pissy that’s their issue!” ~ NintendaSwitch
“NTA: The parents are though!’
“What kind of parents would knowingly put their Autistic child through the sensory overload they know they are going to have?”
“That’s just terrible parenting, they are knowingly traumatizing their child.”
“I hope you have a blast!!!” ~ Alarmed_Anybody425
“NTA, the environment you’re describing is not child-friendly.”
“Cool for you that you can have a big party with your friends and family, where I grew up, usually you had a family celebration, kids included, and another party with just your friends.”
“But hey, not everybody can or want to do this.” ~ MadMax42093
OP wanted to add…
“Update: the venue I choose confirmed with me so it’s all booked in.”
“It’s a bar in a function room.”
“I put in the facebook invite no kids under ten.”
“As that one lovely Redditor put it my cousin ‘can suck on a sav if she spits the dummy.'”
Reddit with you OP.
Adult time is adult time.
Plus you’re allowed to do whatever you wish with your guest list.
Have fun and Happy Birthday!!